The familiar sound of feet coming up the stairway sent terror into my heart and I ran upstairs to my own room to just settle there for awhile..... A face peered around the corner into my room as I lay sick on my bed and yet I managed to pull myself up so ashamed that I was sick.... I gave voice in a place of safety that admitted my fear and concern in the presence of those that would be safe and the one that wasn't... and in response all that was said with this glare and cold look towards me... "I knew ... I always knew..."
I was one who upon watching even a scripted television show that portrayed beautiful relational aspects between a father and a daughter would pause and wonder what that was like.... I would pause and wonder and actually feel an ache as I watched actors portray a scene that was crafted for them by writers......
I was left hungry.... I was left unsheltered from the storm.... I was left ........................
The promise that those that are hungry will be made full and that those who have felt the tempest of the storm will know peace and that those who were left alone will never be forsaken have been made full and have come to pass in the story of my life... Not scripted by talented writers but written upon the very core of my being by the one who fashioned and formed me and then refashioned and reformed me......
I never took joy in the title daughter... I did not comprehend the gift.....
But now my eyes are made whole as I hear His steps towards me and I run towards Him... When I lay in my bed weakened or sickly or just plain tired I am met by compassion and grace and love... when I stand in a place to express concern I am met with kindness and concern and affection... oh the greatest affection......
So inhibited by fear and concern and history I could not reach out to Father .... so He reached out and wooed me.... in gentleness and in the most sincere considerations He walked with me when I could not see Him... He lingered and sang over me when I could not hear Him.... He brought forth circumstances that would be full of His tender loving kindness though I could not feel Him..... In patience and in time He brought forth that which He desired more than anything .... a girl who had only knew shrinking back in fear found her feet and stood beside Him as His... as His daughter.....
I knew the tearing apart by the hands of man... but I have known fashioning and forming at the hands of the Creator of all things....
There is a marvelous journey away from fear into faith ... from trepidation into confidence... from insufferable cruelty to unspeakable kindness......
I journey forward now as I am becoming the me I was always intentioned to become..... becoming a daughter... becoming the girl who can look up towards Father and smile and beam forth joy ...... Perfect love casts out all fear....
Come be wooed by perfect love.......................
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