Risk.... The fifth in my series of how to Increase your ability to have eyes that see.....
By very definition the word risk holds within it exposure to the chance of injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance... that is how the word is defined on the dictionary.com website.
I have stepped into a place where I could daily be considered wrong... delusional... fanciful... one who possesses an over active imagination... liar... fraud.... but when I stop and consider that which is sprouting up within the picture of my life ... I don't doubt....
I am more in awe of God... I am more in love with God... my husband... my children... I am more propelled towards a life full of love and joy.... I have such a depth of peace that there are no words that could describe.... I journey forth from my times of visitation or sight with a strength and a courage that I have never possessed.... If it is delusion than I will take delusion... if it is the product of an over active imagination than I will take that as well....
I don't stand in a place of thought of special entitlements rather I am brought to an awareness that the Father loves us all so very much that He hungers to give us sight and the capacity to know and to hear.... He hungers to be in relationship with us and if He is in relationship with us than of course we are going to see Him and touch Him and hear Him and know Him.....
Three things are at play with Risking....
First the fear of what if I don't see anything... what if I don't hear anything ... what if I search and seek and ask and knock and nothing happens.... what if I hope again only to be made heart sick again by timing being deferred.... Remember a fulfilled longing is a tree of life.... God has life for you... for me... He is the most brilliant of fathers... the most marvelous of caretakers.... Asking Him for bread He will never give a stone...
Really Mims... really because I have asked and sought after and knocked but to only come up with nothing... nothing.....
My heart aches for you as you proceed within your journey but I know this I know that it isn't Him...
so here is number two.....
Walk through the fears of what holds you back from risking... walk through the barriers that life, flesh, soul have put up.... however you can... scale the walls that have been erected and demolish them so as to take back the plunder.... that which the enemy has stolen from you ... that which you have been robbed from...
Literally it took me over a decade through processing times of healing.. to interactions with Jesus to cautiously placing one toe into the waters of the Father's heart.... to enter into this season and receive His beckoning forward.....
He is patient and He is kind and He is longsuffering.... He is gentle and He is compassionate... and He is sympathetic and He is unwavering in His affections and passions.... let healing and faith arise within you and your eyes will be made open....
Thirdly.... Listen... to me on this... listen to me on this .... I didn't have an earthly father I could relate to ... I didn't know any reality of fathering upon this earth that would give me any foundation to believe that Father is good.....
But I believe Him... I know that when asking for bread I will not end up with a stone.. I know that now... I used to be afraid that at my first mistake there would be a fist there or words of destruction there and I was full of fear... In that I was alone.... I walked with the heart of an orphan hunger for the affections of a father.....
As I began to risk and trust that which the word says about Him.. that which Jesus says about Him... as I began to walk forward into healing and wholeness and my eyes were made more and more open... and I saw Him more and more... I was like one utterly possessed and I went from cowering prisoner to emboldened daughter..... Because of His affections that are poured out upon me daily.... poured out upon all of us moment to moment....
The blinders of fear fell off of my eyes and there before me wasn't a fraud.... there before me wasn't a liar... there before me wasn't one who would ever disappoint... There before me was the very one who sung me into being... who knew all of me intricately... There before for me was my Creator ... Father... and in Him I have been made complete...
Risk opening your eyes and your senses to our kingdom... it is your birth right as a child.. it is your inheritance as an ambassador... it is heritage as a citizen of heaven... It is yours.... If we being evil love our child and hunger to give them good gifts... His hunger and love makes ours seem like a drop of water out of a dropper compared to an ever flowing ocean.................
There are those who are so scrupulously afraid of doing wrong that they seldom venture to do anything. ~Vauvenargues
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ~André Gide
Monday, February 28, 2011
Within side of you is a story... a song... a voice... I long to hear.... Let not another tune it out... Let not another quiet it or alter it in a way that isn't uniquely yours... Find it for it is your gift to bring
There are so many things that I do not know how to do... So many things that just don't come natural at all.... There are those things in my life that bring me to my knees because I just have the wisdom or experience that I need to navigate the places that I find myself in...
Last night I heard of another who had said words exactly like those that had resided in my heart.... and I sat there thinking maybe I am not the only one when looking at a child of mine wonder and question.... I question my capacity to nurture and raise and bring into maturity some of my children... I see my lack and I wonder how is this going to happen... How are they going to find their voice... their footing... their way.....
So I have used that which I know.... I admit my lack to my children... no I am not having deep philosophical questions with my two or four year olds.... those guys are the easy ones... I might have to run after them... be awake with them... go without sleep or time with them but they are the easy ones....
But a few weeks back I found myself purposefully bringing my oldest daughter outside to the driveway and we sat ... and we sat... and I told her how much I loved her... and how precious she was to me... and I told her that she has a voice that we have to discover and that I am not always sure how to help her do that... except to tell her how I found mine..... I told her that when looking at things in life that we don't quite know how to do... we need to give speech to the voice inside us... we need to acknowledge that we can't see and we don't know and we need to talk about how that feels....
I told her that I don't always know my way around all the circumstances of our life together as a large family and that I wanted her to know that she is not ever a burden or in the way...... She is in the middle... there are boys older than her and two toddlers younger... she is not the oldest... she is not the youngest but I am determined she not get lost and that her voice triumphs... I didn't want to over share but I so didn't want to leave her in the dark either...
and so....
We started a journal together and I taught her how in a scenario as one like the one of us on the driveway one would find their voice...... I spoke my story of our time together with my thoughts and my impressions and then I asked her to do the same.....
The Father is wooing me into this time of seeing..... and I wanted my daughter to know that I see her and that I am seen by her..... I wanted her to taste that which I am tasting as I become more the "me" that I am becoming and challenge her to become the "her" that she is becoming and to become.....
My telling of our tale went like this.... "I watch her... I watch her as she becomes this most beautiful creature... she is growing so tall and so big that I times I am afraid to blink because I am afraid that within those seconds my eyes are closed she will have changed even more in front of me.... I have thought about her for days now.. and I have prayed and asked God to help me and give me wisdom... I have this treasure in front of me and I so long to propel her into all that she is to become.... I might not always know my way but I know that we are being led into something and I need to trust.....
So I took her by the hand and led her to the driveway where we watched the clouds go by and we and simply held hands and chatted away..... I looked into her bright blue eyes and I expressed to her my heart and that I was weak in some areas but we serve a very strong God and that He was going to lead us upon the path that He had for us and lead her upon the path that He had for her......
We paused after I was done and I turned and I looked at her and I said your turn.... take a moment... collect your thoughts and share your heart.... AND SHE DID.....
Becoming isn't easy... there are so many challenges before us all.... Times that fear and wonderment about the future leave us wanting.... doubts that scream into our ears and our beings about who it is we think we are becoming or who we think we are...... but upon this journey we must walk.... We must find our way through and navigate the way around those obstacles to faith and courage and freedom and plot a route with determination that we are going to get there.....
We are promised that He who began a good work within us will see it to completion and that asking for bread we will not be given a stone.... So journey upon your journey... against all the twists and turns and between all the obstacles you will find the greatest treasure ... You will unearth the you you were always meant to be..........
Last night I heard of another who had said words exactly like those that had resided in my heart.... and I sat there thinking maybe I am not the only one when looking at a child of mine wonder and question.... I question my capacity to nurture and raise and bring into maturity some of my children... I see my lack and I wonder how is this going to happen... How are they going to find their voice... their footing... their way.....
So I have used that which I know.... I admit my lack to my children... no I am not having deep philosophical questions with my two or four year olds.... those guys are the easy ones... I might have to run after them... be awake with them... go without sleep or time with them but they are the easy ones....
But a few weeks back I found myself purposefully bringing my oldest daughter outside to the driveway and we sat ... and we sat... and I told her how much I loved her... and how precious she was to me... and I told her that she has a voice that we have to discover and that I am not always sure how to help her do that... except to tell her how I found mine..... I told her that when looking at things in life that we don't quite know how to do... we need to give speech to the voice inside us... we need to acknowledge that we can't see and we don't know and we need to talk about how that feels....
I told her that I don't always know my way around all the circumstances of our life together as a large family and that I wanted her to know that she is not ever a burden or in the way...... She is in the middle... there are boys older than her and two toddlers younger... she is not the oldest... she is not the youngest but I am determined she not get lost and that her voice triumphs... I didn't want to over share but I so didn't want to leave her in the dark either...
and so....
We started a journal together and I taught her how in a scenario as one like the one of us on the driveway one would find their voice...... I spoke my story of our time together with my thoughts and my impressions and then I asked her to do the same.....
The Father is wooing me into this time of seeing..... and I wanted my daughter to know that I see her and that I am seen by her..... I wanted her to taste that which I am tasting as I become more the "me" that I am becoming and challenge her to become the "her" that she is becoming and to become.....
My telling of our tale went like this.... "I watch her... I watch her as she becomes this most beautiful creature... she is growing so tall and so big that I times I am afraid to blink because I am afraid that within those seconds my eyes are closed she will have changed even more in front of me.... I have thought about her for days now.. and I have prayed and asked God to help me and give me wisdom... I have this treasure in front of me and I so long to propel her into all that she is to become.... I might not always know my way but I know that we are being led into something and I need to trust.....
So I took her by the hand and led her to the driveway where we watched the clouds go by and we and simply held hands and chatted away..... I looked into her bright blue eyes and I expressed to her my heart and that I was weak in some areas but we serve a very strong God and that He was going to lead us upon the path that He had for us and lead her upon the path that He had for her......
We paused after I was done and I turned and I looked at her and I said your turn.... take a moment... collect your thoughts and share your heart.... AND SHE DID.....
Becoming isn't easy... there are so many challenges before us all.... Times that fear and wonderment about the future leave us wanting.... doubts that scream into our ears and our beings about who it is we think we are becoming or who we think we are...... but upon this journey we must walk.... We must find our way through and navigate the way around those obstacles to faith and courage and freedom and plot a route with determination that we are going to get there.....
We are promised that He who began a good work within us will see it to completion and that asking for bread we will not be given a stone.... So journey upon your journey... against all the twists and turns and between all the obstacles you will find the greatest treasure ... You will unearth the you you were always meant to be..........
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Learning How to Walk Towards Him... A Child's Journey Away From Fear....
How did this love affair start? How do I lay out a path that others can walk upon towards a Father's heart so huge and full? While paths have as many varieties as there are persons... I do believe there are some commonalities that can assist within the journey of stepping into dancing with the Father and His affections...
I remember so many things at this moment...
From the moment when at a meeting Jesus stood before me removing a veil and saying to me I want to introduce you to Someone... And there was a slight glimpse of Father... barely could I look... barely could I receive...
I remember the first time I saw a house (in the spirit) which I knew was Father's house and I stood at the gate and couldn't even venture up the path to the door... but I stood at the gate and One walked out of the door and so gently and kindly approached but even at His approach I shuttered and lowered my head and could not look up....
I remember being wooed by kindness... and courted by gentleness ... persuaded by patience... enticed by sweetness... and won over by a determined, focused, persistent affection that never wavered ... was always steady and resolute that I would become the daughter He always saw me as being.. He unyielding relentless actions towards me to heal me and grant me eyes to see and ears to hear and a heart that could receive have utterly revolutionized all that I am.....
I remember His words over my life when upon life I was able to receive them ... when I heard Him whisper my name... and I heard Him whisper I was His... and I heard Him whisper into the depths of my being I was loved... and I heard Him whisper into my heart the word daughter... It was a whisper into my being and a shout into the air..... I belonged to Him... I bear His image... His likeness... Orphan no longer... Fathered all too well...........................
So here... here is where I state the first steps.... that moved me beyond overlaying upon Him my life and my view of father... that moved me beyond a cowering fearful captive to a daughter standing bold and beautiful and full of grace and joy smiling at the face of Father...
I let Him love me... I let Him heal me... I let Him touch places so full of horror and pain ... I let Him wash my eyes and remove lens that hindered me... I let Him love me... I let Him love me... I laid down pride... prejudice... fear... judgment.... and I learned to pick up grace... mercy... love... tenderness..... forgiveness... joy and delight....
Pick up delight... pick up delight.... pick up delight... pick up delight... pick up delight... He delights over you.. sings... beckons... dances.... holds... embraces.... all of you.... breath Him in .. and pick up delight
I remember so many things at this moment...
From the moment when at a meeting Jesus stood before me removing a veil and saying to me I want to introduce you to Someone... And there was a slight glimpse of Father... barely could I look... barely could I receive...
I remember the first time I saw a house (in the spirit) which I knew was Father's house and I stood at the gate and couldn't even venture up the path to the door... but I stood at the gate and One walked out of the door and so gently and kindly approached but even at His approach I shuttered and lowered my head and could not look up....
I remember being wooed by kindness... and courted by gentleness ... persuaded by patience... enticed by sweetness... and won over by a determined, focused, persistent affection that never wavered ... was always steady and resolute that I would become the daughter He always saw me as being.. He unyielding relentless actions towards me to heal me and grant me eyes to see and ears to hear and a heart that could receive have utterly revolutionized all that I am.....
I remember His words over my life when upon life I was able to receive them ... when I heard Him whisper my name... and I heard Him whisper I was His... and I heard Him whisper into the depths of my being I was loved... and I heard Him whisper into my heart the word daughter... It was a whisper into my being and a shout into the air..... I belonged to Him... I bear His image... His likeness... Orphan no longer... Fathered all too well...........................
So here... here is where I state the first steps.... that moved me beyond overlaying upon Him my life and my view of father... that moved me beyond a cowering fearful captive to a daughter standing bold and beautiful and full of grace and joy smiling at the face of Father...
I let Him love me... I let Him heal me... I let Him touch places so full of horror and pain ... I let Him wash my eyes and remove lens that hindered me... I let Him love me... I let Him love me... I laid down pride... prejudice... fear... judgment.... and I learned to pick up grace... mercy... love... tenderness..... forgiveness... joy and delight....
Pick up delight... pick up delight.... pick up delight... pick up delight... pick up delight... He delights over you.. sings... beckons... dances.... holds... embraces.... all of you.... breath Him in .. and pick up delight
Lord and Father... How do I contain that truth and how do I walk solemnly in awe while all the while dancing and skipping in delight?
Brought to a place tonight where your goodness is so thick...
Your beauty so upon me that I can't even keep my eyes open...
I can barely breath...
I can barely stand...
The reality of You so strikingly phenomenal...
How do I breath this in?
How do I behold Your glory?
How do I stand in the midst of being in Your presence?
How do I surrender fully enough to You that You own all that I am and all that I am is Yours?
How do I worship You enough to acknowledge gratitude so deep for that which You are is so powerfully amazing?
I stepped so casually into this wooing into this ...I see you ... you see me... I walked so casually into these moments ... some are received as a child receiving her Father... but tonight.. tonight I see You as Lord and I am melting...
melting away....
I see You ... I see You High and Lifted up and I melt before that which I see.... and I shutter as in this place You place Your hand upon my shoulder and call me daughter... Liquid heat penetrates all that I am and as it rushes through all that makes up my person I feel it upon my heart and my mind.. upon my being and I have no capacity to utter a word back to You...
No capacity to hear Your voice saying back to me that You see me...
eyes glued...
heart transfixed...
You captivate and hold all that I am .. You hold all that I am within Your hands ... Within Your hands and within Your heart I walk... I exist.... I place my being...
I see You as Father every day... every day You are Father... every day You are Lord... and yet every day .. every day You call me Your own... Your own daughter... Your love... Yours.... How do I contain that truth and how do I walk solemnly in awe while all the while dancing and skipping in delight? How do I contain within my frame both emotions at the same time?
I acknowledge You as Father and I see Your smile upon my being... I acknowledge You as Lord and I see You in all of Your authority... in all of Your splendor and while I stand as daughter I do so oh so reverently ... Father... Lord....
I bow down before You and I stand before You.... Eyes transfixed upon Your beauty and Your glory.... Washed in both Your Love and Your authority... and utterly changed....
Your beauty so upon me that I can't even keep my eyes open...
I can barely breath...
I can barely stand...
The reality of You so strikingly phenomenal...
How do I breath this in?
How do I behold Your glory?
How do I stand in the midst of being in Your presence?
How do I surrender fully enough to You that You own all that I am and all that I am is Yours?
How do I worship You enough to acknowledge gratitude so deep for that which You are is so powerfully amazing?
I stepped so casually into this wooing into this ...I see you ... you see me... I walked so casually into these moments ... some are received as a child receiving her Father... but tonight.. tonight I see You as Lord and I am melting...
melting away....
I see You ... I see You High and Lifted up and I melt before that which I see.... and I shutter as in this place You place Your hand upon my shoulder and call me daughter... Liquid heat penetrates all that I am and as it rushes through all that makes up my person I feel it upon my heart and my mind.. upon my being and I have no capacity to utter a word back to You...
No capacity to hear Your voice saying back to me that You see me...
eyes glued...
heart transfixed...
You captivate and hold all that I am .. You hold all that I am within Your hands ... Within Your hands and within Your heart I walk... I exist.... I place my being...
I see You as Father every day... every day You are Father... every day You are Lord... and yet every day .. every day You call me Your own... Your own daughter... Your love... Yours.... How do I contain that truth and how do I walk solemnly in awe while all the while dancing and skipping in delight? How do I contain within my frame both emotions at the same time?
I acknowledge You as Father and I see Your smile upon my being... I acknowledge You as Lord and I see You in all of Your authority... in all of Your splendor and while I stand as daughter I do so oh so reverently ... Father... Lord....
I bow down before You and I stand before You.... Eyes transfixed upon Your beauty and Your glory.... Washed in both Your Love and Your authority... and utterly changed....
Revolution or Curse... The Father's heart is being turned towards His children right now.... Will our hearts turn to Him... Introducing a new series......
As I approach the finishing line of articles on five ways to see in the spirit better I started to pray about what was next..... While I believe the I see you .. You see me project is getting well under way and I couldn't be more full with all that that has entailed .. I have felt a tugging upon my heart to back up a bit.....
In my absolute complete belief that that which is happening between the Father and I IS NOT some special anointing and relationship that is just special to us... I do believe that He has opened the doors to this most amazing reality... That He has opened the doors for all to enter...... Except it has taken me over a decade to come to this place...... Because it took Him that much time for me to be even be able to consider that a relationship with the Father could be good.....
He has wooed my heart and sought me out and run to me and thrown His cloak over my shoulders and brought me into His house as His daughter.... BUT what is the process.... How can I shorten your years? How can I be used to catapult you forward to a place that surpasses that which He is doing with me? SO that I can then learn from you and then you can catapult me forward... and so it would go.....
So this is my new series.... I am going to tell stories and ask the Lord for insight to see that which upon this journey has been that which opened my heart to be able to sit next to Him and feel Him sitting next to me... To be able to see Him and watch as He sees me... To walk with Him as He walks with me... To delight in Him even as He delights in me....
So here we go.... I will write and write and write... stories... hints.. suggestions... prayers.. because there is nothing more fulfilling .. NOTHING... than coming to a place where with all that you are ... You walk with this crazy fluid like solidity inside... I can't express the depth of joy and then strength that resides so deeply within my very being....
I currently don't have the words... but I will find them.. He will lead me to them... So that we can all grow further into being His sons and daughters.... I have gained boldness and confidence as I have begun to know that which I am all the more fully and that my friends..... That I must pass forward...
I spoke this past Saturday in Orlando, Florida at my dear friend Brenda's home and the vision and heart of that which I am to do started to flow as did the Father's heart...
We will be making that cd available in the near future.....
That is only the beginning.....
We are being beckoned forward into the most delightful love affair of all time...
The love of a Father for that which are His own... He is wooing... He is beckoning... He is walking.. no He is running towards us to scoop us up in His arms and to call us His own... It IS a most marvelous time to be alive... We are going to see the Father's affections explode upon the scenes of our lives in the most incredible of ways....
We are going to get there... He is determined..... entering into the wooing of a Father's affections.... I will help lead the way and then you will lead me further in ... and we will all walk hand in hand as brothers and sisters covered and dripping with the passions of the Father...
and guess what then is the most amazing fruit?
The world will knows us because of our love....
This love affair is about to revolutionize the face of the earth.....
It is such a time as this...... And I couldn't be more full of anticipation and joy.... For it is His joy and it is my Father's joy that this happen and He is calling it into being in the same way that He said, "Let there be light..." He is calling and speaking and declaring His love and intentions over His children and it will be so and it will be VERY GOOD!!!!!
He is turning His heart towards us... Will we turn our hearts to Him... He is calling forth a revolution of love to fill our lives and the lives of those we walk with.... He has turned His heart... He is in full pursuit.....
Being loved by Him in this season is Revolutionizing all that I am... all that I am...
I have never known such confidence... such peace... such beauty inside of me... such love.... step in ... step in .... jump in ... delight in Him and His love... This love affair is a tidal wave pouring over all of us...... to fashion our hearts and our minds towards Him... that we would know Him ... that He would be our God and we will be His....
In my absolute complete belief that that which is happening between the Father and I IS NOT some special anointing and relationship that is just special to us... I do believe that He has opened the doors to this most amazing reality... That He has opened the doors for all to enter...... Except it has taken me over a decade to come to this place...... Because it took Him that much time for me to be even be able to consider that a relationship with the Father could be good.....
He has wooed my heart and sought me out and run to me and thrown His cloak over my shoulders and brought me into His house as His daughter.... BUT what is the process.... How can I shorten your years? How can I be used to catapult you forward to a place that surpasses that which He is doing with me? SO that I can then learn from you and then you can catapult me forward... and so it would go.....
So this is my new series.... I am going to tell stories and ask the Lord for insight to see that which upon this journey has been that which opened my heart to be able to sit next to Him and feel Him sitting next to me... To be able to see Him and watch as He sees me... To walk with Him as He walks with me... To delight in Him even as He delights in me....
So here we go.... I will write and write and write... stories... hints.. suggestions... prayers.. because there is nothing more fulfilling .. NOTHING... than coming to a place where with all that you are ... You walk with this crazy fluid like solidity inside... I can't express the depth of joy and then strength that resides so deeply within my very being....
I currently don't have the words... but I will find them.. He will lead me to them... So that we can all grow further into being His sons and daughters.... I have gained boldness and confidence as I have begun to know that which I am all the more fully and that my friends..... That I must pass forward...
I spoke this past Saturday in Orlando, Florida at my dear friend Brenda's home and the vision and heart of that which I am to do started to flow as did the Father's heart...
We will be making that cd available in the near future.....
That is only the beginning.....
We are being beckoned forward into the most delightful love affair of all time...
The love of a Father for that which are His own... He is wooing... He is beckoning... He is walking.. no He is running towards us to scoop us up in His arms and to call us His own... It IS a most marvelous time to be alive... We are going to see the Father's affections explode upon the scenes of our lives in the most incredible of ways....
We are going to get there... He is determined..... entering into the wooing of a Father's affections.... I will help lead the way and then you will lead me further in ... and we will all walk hand in hand as brothers and sisters covered and dripping with the passions of the Father...
and guess what then is the most amazing fruit?
The world will knows us because of our love....
This love affair is about to revolutionize the face of the earth.....
It is such a time as this...... And I couldn't be more full of anticipation and joy.... For it is His joy and it is my Father's joy that this happen and He is calling it into being in the same way that He said, "Let there be light..." He is calling and speaking and declaring His love and intentions over His children and it will be so and it will be VERY GOOD!!!!!
He is turning His heart towards us... Will we turn our hearts to Him... He is calling forth a revolution of love to fill our lives and the lives of those we walk with.... He has turned His heart... He is in full pursuit.....
Being loved by Him in this season is Revolutionizing all that I am... all that I am...
I have never known such confidence... such peace... such beauty inside of me... such love.... step in ... step in .... jump in ... delight in Him and His love... This love affair is a tidal wave pouring over all of us...... to fashion our hearts and our minds towards Him... that we would know Him ... that He would be our God and we will be His....
Believe that you are His girl ... You are His son and His desire is for you... Place your affections towards Him and you will never be the same
They came and stood at my door and they came and stood by the window and I was surrounded.... Hedged in from all sides....
And then He entered the room and they were like the watchmen guarding our time together....
This moment was not going to be intruded upon... He was making sure of that...
He gave me that all knowing look and I knew what He was saying..."I see you," and He smiled... I smiled back at him one one of those deep breath I'm trying to be brave smiles ... Looking to Him for answers
My being feeling all out of sorts... This is not what I anticipated happening and my equilibrium is still more than a tad off....
His affections for me were all over His face and while I felt the uncertainties of the times being surrounded by His presence and those who belong to Him brought forth peace and rest and filled my soul with the most glorious of assurances....
The word says that in repentance and rest is our salvation and in quietness and trust is our strength ...
He brings all of that with Him... He causes me to lay down and receive from Him... He brings me to a place where I can see my wrong ... He brings me to the place where quietness resides and I am filled with a deep trust and I am made strong......
Within a place that knows nothing but that which He does He brought His Kingdom forth and in a moment of uncertainty Heaven kissed earth as well as my forehead and all was made right...
He sees me in all my moments and He leads me through them all.... He is the most amazing of fathers and I am full of delight that I am called by His name
Believe that you are His girl ... You are His son and His desire is for you... The truth within those words has brought me to the most of amazing places and it will do the same for you...
There is nothing special about me... No special anointing.... No special calling .. The Father's welcome mat is out for all who will dwell in His house... Knock the door will be opened and you will enter into the most glorious of relationships ...
And then He entered the room and they were like the watchmen guarding our time together....
This moment was not going to be intruded upon... He was making sure of that...
He gave me that all knowing look and I knew what He was saying..."I see you," and He smiled... I smiled back at him one one of those deep breath I'm trying to be brave smiles ... Looking to Him for answers
My being feeling all out of sorts... This is not what I anticipated happening and my equilibrium is still more than a tad off....
His affections for me were all over His face and while I felt the uncertainties of the times being surrounded by His presence and those who belong to Him brought forth peace and rest and filled my soul with the most glorious of assurances....
The word says that in repentance and rest is our salvation and in quietness and trust is our strength ...
He brings all of that with Him... He causes me to lay down and receive from Him... He brings me to a place where I can see my wrong ... He brings me to the place where quietness resides and I am filled with a deep trust and I am made strong......
Within a place that knows nothing but that which He does He brought His Kingdom forth and in a moment of uncertainty Heaven kissed earth as well as my forehead and all was made right...
He sees me in all my moments and He leads me through them all.... He is the most amazing of fathers and I am full of delight that I am called by His name
Believe that you are His girl ... You are His son and His desire is for you... The truth within those words has brought me to the most of amazing places and it will do the same for you...
There is nothing special about me... No special anointing.... No special calling .. The Father's welcome mat is out for all who will dwell in His house... Knock the door will be opened and you will enter into the most glorious of relationships ...
Saturday, February 26, 2011
I am not fancy.. I am not glamorous ... I am not sexy and all dressed up for the show ... I am just a girl in love with a most magnificent Father who needs to tell you so
A smile crossed my face as I heard Him whisper good morning ... As I saw Him .. He lightly touched my forehead and I saw His smile and I heard His words of affection and deep deep love
While I am obviously not an infant in the natural .. Far from it... I got this picture of a Father coming to His daughter's crib in the morning and just watching and delighting in a daughter...
I know that picture well... I go into my daughters' room and see my sweet Elizabeth in her crib ... Laying there.. Still sleepy from the evening's journey ... I watch and delight in her .. I notice the details that are her and I smile and this morning's moments with Him were nothing less than like that
I saw you waking up this morning... I watched as your eyes opened .. As you stretched your arms behind your head and then did that thing you do with your feet and stretched again... I watched you notice Me and I saw your smile and great delight warmed my heart
I whispered out loud my thoughts of you to you so that you would know how much pleasure resides in my heart over you...
I thought of other seasons throughout your life ... As I watched you grow... My eyes never removed from you but your eyes hadn't learned to see me but I watched over you and sung my songs over you and beckoned you forward
These days as I see you and you see me my heart is warm and full and made satisfied for my child ... My daughter watches me now as I watch her and you see me now as I see you and it brings great delight to my heart that you have turned your face towards me for I have turned my face to you....
Father to behold you upon the moment of awakening.. You are my very first and best thought.... Your loves saturated my flesh and filled out all of that which I am ... I delight in You ..
You complete my joy... Just You ... Without thought of one thing You do I am made satisfied just because You are and You are closer than near
I could feel my heart shift... Upon the deep expressions of love being shared a seed of gratitude slipped into my heart and becoming weepy I acknowledged how completely full of thankfulness I am for all that He has done....
Beyond salvation ... Beyond transformation.. He wasn't satisfied with my heart being satisfied with other things... Because it had been satisfied at different places of working for Him or different plateaus ..
I had allowed the lesser things to satisfy but NOT Him ... He would not allow them to satisfy because He who fashioned and fixed my heart knew intricately that which would truly bring me to life ...
He causes me to walk the heights with Him and He has given me the hinds feet to do so ....
I am not a special creature... I am just a girl in love with her Father and believing the truth of His never-ending love and that He is for me....
This morning I saw You and you saw me and I am left forever changed
While I am obviously not an infant in the natural .. Far from it... I got this picture of a Father coming to His daughter's crib in the morning and just watching and delighting in a daughter...
I know that picture well... I go into my daughters' room and see my sweet Elizabeth in her crib ... Laying there.. Still sleepy from the evening's journey ... I watch and delight in her .. I notice the details that are her and I smile and this morning's moments with Him were nothing less than like that
I saw you waking up this morning... I watched as your eyes opened .. As you stretched your arms behind your head and then did that thing you do with your feet and stretched again... I watched you notice Me and I saw your smile and great delight warmed my heart
I whispered out loud my thoughts of you to you so that you would know how much pleasure resides in my heart over you...
I thought of other seasons throughout your life ... As I watched you grow... My eyes never removed from you but your eyes hadn't learned to see me but I watched over you and sung my songs over you and beckoned you forward
These days as I see you and you see me my heart is warm and full and made satisfied for my child ... My daughter watches me now as I watch her and you see me now as I see you and it brings great delight to my heart that you have turned your face towards me for I have turned my face to you....
Father to behold you upon the moment of awakening.. You are my very first and best thought.... Your loves saturated my flesh and filled out all of that which I am ... I delight in You ..
You complete my joy... Just You ... Without thought of one thing You do I am made satisfied just because You are and You are closer than near
I could feel my heart shift... Upon the deep expressions of love being shared a seed of gratitude slipped into my heart and becoming weepy I acknowledged how completely full of thankfulness I am for all that He has done....
Beyond salvation ... Beyond transformation.. He wasn't satisfied with my heart being satisfied with other things... Because it had been satisfied at different places of working for Him or different plateaus ..
I had allowed the lesser things to satisfy but NOT Him ... He would not allow them to satisfy because He who fashioned and fixed my heart knew intricately that which would truly bring me to life ...
He causes me to walk the heights with Him and He has given me the hinds feet to do so ....
I am not a special creature... I am just a girl in love with her Father and believing the truth of His never-ending love and that He is for me....
This morning I saw You and you saw me and I am left forever changed
Friday, February 25, 2011
Fourth of Five ways to Increase Being Able to See ... Ask and you shall receive
Ask Questions......
I love what my husband gets to do with his life... I love watching him be passionate about people learning about dreams and visions and seeing God...
Stirthewater.com holds within it some of the most amazing exercises for growth for seers around the world..
Simple and yet profound within it's structure are exercises which one can do that challenges users to exercise their gift of sight and grow in it..
By asking questions users are brought through a process to not just see but to discover why and what they are seeing and what it means....
When within the space of the room I sense something here is one process I personally go through...
1) Discern is it from God... If so proceed if not take authority ... More times than not it is from God
2) Having discerned it's from God .. Why is that particular manifestation or being present?
3) Receive from God the answer and act upon that which is being shown
If I see something .. Questions like this go through my head...
God what is this?
What is it's purpose?
Why is it here?
What am I to do?
Then I thank Him that He makes Himself and His kingdom known...
If I see something and it isn't clear and I can't hear more from God on the subject... I ask some one who I trust what they think... What they might discern... What they feel
I ask questions... Questions to God and questions to others ... I want to learn more and see more and understand more and sometimes .. Well, most times when we are willing to admit we don't know and simply ask ... Well the answer comes...
It's really ok to see and not know why or what but even so asking... Well we are told to ask and seek and knock .... So that is what I do...
I love what my husband gets to do with his life... I love watching him be passionate about people learning about dreams and visions and seeing God...
Stirthewater.com holds within it some of the most amazing exercises for growth for seers around the world..
Simple and yet profound within it's structure are exercises which one can do that challenges users to exercise their gift of sight and grow in it..
By asking questions users are brought through a process to not just see but to discover why and what they are seeing and what it means....
When within the space of the room I sense something here is one process I personally go through...
1) Discern is it from God... If so proceed if not take authority ... More times than not it is from God
2) Having discerned it's from God .. Why is that particular manifestation or being present?
3) Receive from God the answer and act upon that which is being shown
If I see something .. Questions like this go through my head...
God what is this?
What is it's purpose?
Why is it here?
What am I to do?
Then I thank Him that He makes Himself and His kingdom known...
If I see something and it isn't clear and I can't hear more from God on the subject... I ask some one who I trust what they think... What they might discern... What they feel
I ask questions... Questions to God and questions to others ... I want to learn more and see more and understand more and sometimes .. Well, most times when we are willing to admit we don't know and simply ask ... Well the answer comes...
It's really ok to see and not know why or what but even so asking... Well we are told to ask and seek and knock .... So that is what I do...
ASK QUESTIONS... The fourth out of five ways to increase your sight is ask questions... SO ASK AWAY
The fourth way to increase your sight is going to be ask questions... I'm going to try and have it written by later this afternoon...
But here's a chance... Ask any question you might have in the comment section and we will try to answer it..
But here's a chance... Ask any question you might have in the comment section and we will try to answer it..
Hhhhhhmmmmm...... out of my Father's mouth or out of the mouths of men? That is the question... It can be both BUT and that is one big but
There IS nothing new under the sun!!!
Seriously... There is nothing new under the sun.. No hot, sexy, dressed up ten step plan to get the next revelatory word of the hour....
There are aspects to this walk with Father that can not be circumvented ... There truly is no short cut to be had...
But it is only out of ignorance and laziness that we would even want such a thing.... There is no replacement for intimacy... No replacement for knowing God...
I'll be honest there certainly have been times I've wanted a word from someone .... I've wanted to be spot lighted by God to some prophetic individual and receive revelation...
While on one hand that is ok on the other hand the closer I press into God there shouldn't be anything He isn't already whispering to me in some form or facet....
It's called relationship... there is no word I have ever gotten from a man that matches the beauty of receiving directly from the Father!!
Here is the question! Why is a man's voice more trust worthy than that which you hear from your God?
Well...
I understand .. I get it .. Believe me
All the maybe I got it wrong... Maybe God didn't really say what I thought but a man pointing me out amidst a crowd of people and giving me a word ... Well he or she can't be wrong ... Hhhhhmmnn
Or sometimes it is just nice to hear confirmation and affirmation from another and while very very true ( and believe me... I know... I love it too)
I have learned however to just ask the questions of what is it that my heart really wants....
Well, it wants reassurance...
Well...
My Father who is extremely well acquainted with me and adores me and has deeper affection for me than I know what to do with CAN and WILL bring that reassurance AND He might even choose to do it through another person HOWEVER He might just choose to do it between you and He ....
the weight of that moment needs to stand in Your heart as assured as if He had a fellow brother or sister pick you out of a crowd of ten thousand and say your name.. Address .... All your thoughts and hopes and than some....
Why?
Because it is all from the Father ... He knows every hair on your head.. Every freckle on your person ... Every thought that you think... Every worry that fills your mind.... Every passion that fills your heart
While both are good and both bring life I just want all to know... It pours out of me and won't let me go until I have shouted it out from the mountain tops...
Father adores you... He wants to be with you... He'll use a donkey if it would woo you to His side ... That is the end... That is what it is all about... That whatever word ... Manifestation... Or gift that is given on the other end of it is a Father desperately hungry to have to look at Him more than any other...
I don't want to be distracted by the any others any more ...
Seriously... There is nothing new under the sun.. No hot, sexy, dressed up ten step plan to get the next revelatory word of the hour....
There are aspects to this walk with Father that can not be circumvented ... There truly is no short cut to be had...
But it is only out of ignorance and laziness that we would even want such a thing.... There is no replacement for intimacy... No replacement for knowing God...
I'll be honest there certainly have been times I've wanted a word from someone .... I've wanted to be spot lighted by God to some prophetic individual and receive revelation...
While on one hand that is ok on the other hand the closer I press into God there shouldn't be anything He isn't already whispering to me in some form or facet....
It's called relationship... there is no word I have ever gotten from a man that matches the beauty of receiving directly from the Father!!
Here is the question! Why is a man's voice more trust worthy than that which you hear from your God?
Well...
I understand .. I get it .. Believe me
All the maybe I got it wrong... Maybe God didn't really say what I thought but a man pointing me out amidst a crowd of people and giving me a word ... Well he or she can't be wrong ... Hhhhhmmnn
Or sometimes it is just nice to hear confirmation and affirmation from another and while very very true ( and believe me... I know... I love it too)
I have learned however to just ask the questions of what is it that my heart really wants....
Well, it wants reassurance...
Well...
My Father who is extremely well acquainted with me and adores me and has deeper affection for me than I know what to do with CAN and WILL bring that reassurance AND He might even choose to do it through another person HOWEVER He might just choose to do it between you and He ....
the weight of that moment needs to stand in Your heart as assured as if He had a fellow brother or sister pick you out of a crowd of ten thousand and say your name.. Address .... All your thoughts and hopes and than some....
Why?
Because it is all from the Father ... He knows every hair on your head.. Every freckle on your person ... Every thought that you think... Every worry that fills your mind.... Every passion that fills your heart
While both are good and both bring life I just want all to know... It pours out of me and won't let me go until I have shouted it out from the mountain tops...
Father adores you... He wants to be with you... He'll use a donkey if it would woo you to His side ... That is the end... That is what it is all about... That whatever word ... Manifestation... Or gift that is given on the other end of it is a Father desperately hungry to have to look at Him more than any other...
I don't want to be distracted by the any others any more ...
Thursday, February 24, 2011
You are going to see... Your eyes are being made open... You... Yes... You
You are going to see... You are going to move mountains
I want to provoke you forward to open your eyes more... To step into the natural way of sight.. I feel this push and pull upon me these days and the more I respond the more in Him I feel..
I've just learned to take the baby steps and He seriously does the rest ... The road is already there I just have to take that first step ...
So I don't just want to write about that which I see or my experiences... I want to encourage you to see everything that is upon the landscape of your day..
I know this as I know anything... There is grace in this season to Empower seers to go deeper.. The Father IS standing at the door saying " I'm here see Me... Just see me" It is that moment in the movie Hook where Peter Panning picks up that spoon and risks and believes and REMEMBERS who he is..
There it is in the beating heart of a passionate Father... Hungering for His child to take that first step.. Are you a seer and yet hunger for more? Would you not consider yourself a seer and yet your heart hungers and thirsts to see God and to know Him? Guess what? He hungers for your eyes to be made open even more than you do!
So tell Him... Father I want to see.. Open my eyes... Take the first step ... Know that when it is between you and Him you can't get it wrong... Stir up hope and courage... And faith
You have eyes to see and a heart that hungers ...dare to risk ... He wants this more than you do... Really!!! Really!!! What father wouldn't want their child to see his face smiling upon his son or daughter?
He sees you all the time... You are made to see Him... You were made to see His smile
I want to provoke you forward to open your eyes more... To step into the natural way of sight.. I feel this push and pull upon me these days and the more I respond the more in Him I feel..
I've just learned to take the baby steps and He seriously does the rest ... The road is already there I just have to take that first step ...
So I don't just want to write about that which I see or my experiences... I want to encourage you to see everything that is upon the landscape of your day..
I know this as I know anything... There is grace in this season to Empower seers to go deeper.. The Father IS standing at the door saying " I'm here see Me... Just see me" It is that moment in the movie Hook where Peter Panning picks up that spoon and risks and believes and REMEMBERS who he is..
There it is in the beating heart of a passionate Father... Hungering for His child to take that first step.. Are you a seer and yet hunger for more? Would you not consider yourself a seer and yet your heart hungers and thirsts to see God and to know Him? Guess what? He hungers for your eyes to be made open even more than you do!
So tell Him... Father I want to see.. Open my eyes... Take the first step ... Know that when it is between you and Him you can't get it wrong... Stir up hope and courage... And faith
You have eyes to see and a heart that hungers ...dare to risk ... He wants this more than you do... Really!!! Really!!! What father wouldn't want their child to see his face smiling upon his son or daughter?
He sees you all the time... You are made to see Him... You were made to see His smile
Cultural Bias or Sin ... Right or Wrong... Following the Liturgy and the Shout
I have a son who loves facts and he loves telling me all that he knows... facts about everything you could think of.... One thing he has told me in the past is about how certain mannerisms that say one thing in America would say something completely different in another country.... A thumbs up for instance in the United States would only be something positive... a good job.. or a sign of approval ... However in another culture it is a most horrific insult and curse....
What would happen if being in another culture I take that which I know and I am comfortable with and I know to be good and IS completely good where I come from and go somewhere different where that very thing is rude and offensive?
Now since I have been saved I have been brought up within a non-traditional and charismatic environment.... There are a long list of things that from my cultural experience are not just positive but they are life giving and real for me... I love worship.. I love body ministry... I love to see God move in healing... word of knowledge... I love the revelatory aspect of the Kingdom of God.... I love raising my hands to worship.. I believe in dreams and visions and visitations.... I believe that God speaks .. and the list could go on and on.....
In every culture there are elements that appreciated...
elements that are tolerated...
elements that are prohibited...
elements that are demonized...... ...
I personally would not want to sit on a stage... I personally don't believe in long offerings... I personally want freedom to sit ...stand.. kneel... dance... raise hands or not raise hands... during worship... I personally believe that the body is called to minister and the human propensity to lift up one or a few as the special anointed person of the hour is nothing more than idolatry... I believe that Jesus walked in and among the people he loved and taught and cared for and healed and that leadership doesn't come with "perks" it comes with service and a servant heart.....
However my dislikes and my preferences don't get to state what sin is or isn't..... what is right or what isn't... it is my culture... it is my song.. it is my expression.... and it would be wrong of me to call a preference of one thing holy and right and to call another thing sinful or wrong....
If I look at words off of a screen is it any different than looking at a hymnal.. If I come in jeans or a dress.. If I enjoy a choir or band... if I'm in a cathedral or a gymnasium.... if I read responsively or shout out .... if I hear a word of prophetic utterance or the prophetic utterance of the Word....
Preferences and culture have separated and divided.... and yet there are essentials across the board that bring unity....
I have been in cultures where all that I was was received and affirmed... I have been in cultures where all I was was appreciated and welcomed ... I have been in cultures where that which I was stood in direct contrast to the cultural belief and yet the fruit of my life caused for wonderment and growth... I have seen cultures full of that which I would welcome and appreciate walk in places I'm not comfortable with ... and I have hungered for acceptance and longed for love within cultures that saw me as an oddity and didn't quite know what to do with me and so showed me the door....
There are issues of immaturity... there are issues of sin... there are issues of difference and preference ... But the biggest issue of all is what are we going to do with the most ancient ... most foundational calling of our faith.... what are we going to do with the command to love?
Love beyond preference
Love beyond immaturity
Love beyond fault
Love beyond failure
Love beyond culture
Love beyond creed
We gather in our small little cultural groups and segregate and remain comfortable and unchanged... I have gathered into small little cultural groups and segregated and remained comfortable and unchanged... We stay within our denomination or our non denomination and we live there because that is what we have known and that is where we are known....
I have ventured away from those places into the unknown .. Away from those places of being known... away from my songs.. my preferences... my place.... into places where I don't know their liturgy or their shout ... into places away from my cultural preferences... into places where I am stretched and changed... Where I learn a new song and yet live within my old songs and find a beautiful choir of the both of them..... where I learn to stand on my own feet within that which I truly believe and yet acquire upon my person new ways blending with that which I am... I am learning to hold onto that which I was and that which I am and that which I am becoming and journey into the unknown and discover more and be richer for it......
I love the way liturgy and shout blend... I love learning how to follow God and release cultural preference .. It has grown me... I love opening my eyes to see the vastness and beauty of the Kingdom... it is an awe inspiring thing
What would happen if being in another culture I take that which I know and I am comfortable with and I know to be good and IS completely good where I come from and go somewhere different where that very thing is rude and offensive?
Now since I have been saved I have been brought up within a non-traditional and charismatic environment.... There are a long list of things that from my cultural experience are not just positive but they are life giving and real for me... I love worship.. I love body ministry... I love to see God move in healing... word of knowledge... I love the revelatory aspect of the Kingdom of God.... I love raising my hands to worship.. I believe in dreams and visions and visitations.... I believe that God speaks .. and the list could go on and on.....
In every culture there are elements that appreciated...
elements that are tolerated...
elements that are prohibited...
elements that are demonized...... ...
I personally would not want to sit on a stage... I personally don't believe in long offerings... I personally want freedom to sit ...stand.. kneel... dance... raise hands or not raise hands... during worship... I personally believe that the body is called to minister and the human propensity to lift up one or a few as the special anointed person of the hour is nothing more than idolatry... I believe that Jesus walked in and among the people he loved and taught and cared for and healed and that leadership doesn't come with "perks" it comes with service and a servant heart.....
However my dislikes and my preferences don't get to state what sin is or isn't..... what is right or what isn't... it is my culture... it is my song.. it is my expression.... and it would be wrong of me to call a preference of one thing holy and right and to call another thing sinful or wrong....
If I look at words off of a screen is it any different than looking at a hymnal.. If I come in jeans or a dress.. If I enjoy a choir or band... if I'm in a cathedral or a gymnasium.... if I read responsively or shout out .... if I hear a word of prophetic utterance or the prophetic utterance of the Word....
Preferences and culture have separated and divided.... and yet there are essentials across the board that bring unity....
I have been in cultures where all that I was was received and affirmed... I have been in cultures where all I was was appreciated and welcomed ... I have been in cultures where that which I was stood in direct contrast to the cultural belief and yet the fruit of my life caused for wonderment and growth... I have seen cultures full of that which I would welcome and appreciate walk in places I'm not comfortable with ... and I have hungered for acceptance and longed for love within cultures that saw me as an oddity and didn't quite know what to do with me and so showed me the door....
There are issues of immaturity... there are issues of sin... there are issues of difference and preference ... But the biggest issue of all is what are we going to do with the most ancient ... most foundational calling of our faith.... what are we going to do with the command to love?
Love beyond preference
Love beyond immaturity
Love beyond fault
Love beyond failure
Love beyond culture
Love beyond creed
We gather in our small little cultural groups and segregate and remain comfortable and unchanged... I have gathered into small little cultural groups and segregated and remained comfortable and unchanged... We stay within our denomination or our non denomination and we live there because that is what we have known and that is where we are known....
I have ventured away from those places into the unknown .. Away from those places of being known... away from my songs.. my preferences... my place.... into places where I don't know their liturgy or their shout ... into places away from my cultural preferences... into places where I am stretched and changed... Where I learn a new song and yet live within my old songs and find a beautiful choir of the both of them..... where I learn to stand on my own feet within that which I truly believe and yet acquire upon my person new ways blending with that which I am... I am learning to hold onto that which I was and that which I am and that which I am becoming and journey into the unknown and discover more and be richer for it......
I love the way liturgy and shout blend... I love learning how to follow God and release cultural preference .. It has grown me... I love opening my eyes to see the vastness and beauty of the Kingdom... it is an awe inspiring thing
The Birth Mark....: Faith is like a Salt Sea
The Birth Mark....: Faith is like a Salt Sea: "Today I floated in a sea of salt. It was so strange. It wasn’t the picture I had in my head. In fact, it was nothing like ..."
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Third of Five Ways to Increase Your Ability to Have Eyes that See ...Trust and Faith.... But of Course I'm Going to See ... I'm His girl
Trust and Faith
There it was happening again... This feeling ... This knowing... I sat there looking over by the top of the stairs... I could tell that there was an angelic presence standing there... a masculine figure.... dripping of heaven's dew.... just standing there.... Sent from God to stand there and to stay there and to pass forward strength... to pass forward that which vibrated forth from his being.... I could feel the courage and the power coming forth from him and I received....
Standing there on the back patio I thought I was going to melt into the ground..... this being was so huge.... beyond scope ... It was both awe inspiring and terrifying at the same time.... This being had a scroll.... and it rolled out and knowing through revelation or absorbing that which this one just knew I understood what was written upon it ... the scroll ... I didn't want to read it..... An understanding of things that the Father wanted me to know and that they were different than what I had hoped was going to be and yet could I receive it?
Coming up into the bedroom with no idea or forethought that there was going to be anything different in his bedroom I walked in and saw a lighted outline of a man kneeling by his bed and whispering into one of my son's ears..... I paused.... I was stunned but I thanked Jesus for coming and being with my child.... as I turned to leave the room out of my then 3 year olds mouth came the words, "mommy, Jesus has something He wants to say to you!" I had seen Him but so had my son.....
Standing in at a funeral... looking up I saw a child of mine that had gone to be in Heaven and I saw him standing with the one who had just passed.... I thought to myself, "Josiah has a grandmother's hand to hold..." After the service as my husband and I got into the car... I said something and my husband looked at me and spoke, "you saw it too!"
Lights flashing from the corner of my eyes... colors popping into the air.... bursts of light in the sky.... knowings in my heart that an aspect of the heavenly court was sharing the space.... the eyes of my heart seeing and knowing .... my physical eyes bearing witness to some aspect of my Father's Kingdom....
If one had had an instant Polaroid and had snapped a picture there was no doubt in my being that it would have been of the two of us sitting there on the top of that hill.... Jesus was so physically present in those days... sitting upon that hill with Him listening to Him... getting to know Him... receiving from Him peace and love ... Walking with Him in those days was like being introduced to a long lost friend whose presence one never wants to be without....
She came down the stairs weeping... sobs ... out of her mouth came, "He isn't there... He isn't in my room.." I knew she was talking about Jesus... and I knew He was saying to me not to under appreciate her pain by saying things like He is everywhere.... I knew she had been seeing Him daily in her room... I understood He was taking her deeper and wanted her to search for Him but for Her ... well for her she was missing her friend...
Our family is so very special.... I'm NOT saying what you think I'm saying.... We are special because we are we.... My family is special just because we are... because it is made up of the people that I love and that are loved by my Father.... My family is made up of people who can see ... We are not blind... We have eyes to see... and we have learned to use them and we will learn even more how to do so... my family bears the name of my husband... My family knows their God... Who is my family? What did my brother say?
Someone said to Him, Listen! Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak to You. But He replied to the man who told Him, Who is My mother, and who are My brothers? And stretching out His hand toward not only the twelve disciples but all v]His adherents, He said, Here are My mother and My brothers. For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother! Matthew 12:47-50
There is not anything in particular special about my immediate family although in my heart that is not the case obviously... The one thing that we have lived with all of our days together is our expectation that God speaks and acts and moves... that we are part of a greater family of believers... We have faith and believe we have trust and have faith that asking for bread our Father will not give us a stone ... Children of an amazing God ... One who rules Heaven and Earth... and He longs for us to interact with Him and see Him and know Him...
I am not asking you to believe in something that doesn't fill the scriptures with themselves.... There we see it time and time again... God manifesting Himself... before Christ walked the earth... While Christ walked upon this soil.. and since He has gone back to be with the Father... Biblical and historical accounts are filled with interactions with the Lord... His angelic beings... His hosts... His Kingdom...
I am asking you to believe that the God who states that He is the same for all time that was and that will be wants you to have eyes that can see.. ears that can hear.. and hearts that comprehend ..... And that it is as easy as believing that He is all around you.. surrounding you every moment of every day....
One last thing ..... Recently my sight has grown... grown exponentially.... Why? I simply chose to believe that which I just said... I simply positioned myself and the way I think to believe that which God says about Himself to be true... My question to myself was if I am going to live as a Christian... then why not believe that which I say I do by the declaration of that faith? And open my eyes became even more...
I will also say this.... My eyes didn't open so that I could have the new revelation of the time or to have and obtain the word of the hour... My eyes opened so that I could know my God... and see.... the motivation of my heart is to know Him... to know that He knows me... To see Him and to watch Him watching me....
And it is a glorious thing... I trust and believe... I trust and believe that He so loves me and wants me to know Him and know my eternal home that of course He will show me all that is good and beautiful and perfect... I am His girl............
There it was happening again... This feeling ... This knowing... I sat there looking over by the top of the stairs... I could tell that there was an angelic presence standing there... a masculine figure.... dripping of heaven's dew.... just standing there.... Sent from God to stand there and to stay there and to pass forward strength... to pass forward that which vibrated forth from his being.... I could feel the courage and the power coming forth from him and I received....
Standing there on the back patio I thought I was going to melt into the ground..... this being was so huge.... beyond scope ... It was both awe inspiring and terrifying at the same time.... This being had a scroll.... and it rolled out and knowing through revelation or absorbing that which this one just knew I understood what was written upon it ... the scroll ... I didn't want to read it..... An understanding of things that the Father wanted me to know and that they were different than what I had hoped was going to be and yet could I receive it?
Coming up into the bedroom with no idea or forethought that there was going to be anything different in his bedroom I walked in and saw a lighted outline of a man kneeling by his bed and whispering into one of my son's ears..... I paused.... I was stunned but I thanked Jesus for coming and being with my child.... as I turned to leave the room out of my then 3 year olds mouth came the words, "mommy, Jesus has something He wants to say to you!" I had seen Him but so had my son.....
Standing in at a funeral... looking up I saw a child of mine that had gone to be in Heaven and I saw him standing with the one who had just passed.... I thought to myself, "Josiah has a grandmother's hand to hold..." After the service as my husband and I got into the car... I said something and my husband looked at me and spoke, "you saw it too!"
Lights flashing from the corner of my eyes... colors popping into the air.... bursts of light in the sky.... knowings in my heart that an aspect of the heavenly court was sharing the space.... the eyes of my heart seeing and knowing .... my physical eyes bearing witness to some aspect of my Father's Kingdom....
If one had had an instant Polaroid and had snapped a picture there was no doubt in my being that it would have been of the two of us sitting there on the top of that hill.... Jesus was so physically present in those days... sitting upon that hill with Him listening to Him... getting to know Him... receiving from Him peace and love ... Walking with Him in those days was like being introduced to a long lost friend whose presence one never wants to be without....
She came down the stairs weeping... sobs ... out of her mouth came, "He isn't there... He isn't in my room.." I knew she was talking about Jesus... and I knew He was saying to me not to under appreciate her pain by saying things like He is everywhere.... I knew she had been seeing Him daily in her room... I understood He was taking her deeper and wanted her to search for Him but for Her ... well for her she was missing her friend...
Our family is so very special.... I'm NOT saying what you think I'm saying.... We are special because we are we.... My family is special just because we are... because it is made up of the people that I love and that are loved by my Father.... My family is made up of people who can see ... We are not blind... We have eyes to see... and we have learned to use them and we will learn even more how to do so... my family bears the name of my husband... My family knows their God... Who is my family? What did my brother say?
Someone said to Him, Listen! Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak to You. But He replied to the man who told Him, Who is My mother, and who are My brothers? And stretching out His hand toward not only the twelve disciples but all v]His adherents, He said, Here are My mother and My brothers. For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother! Matthew 12:47-50
There is not anything in particular special about my immediate family although in my heart that is not the case obviously... The one thing that we have lived with all of our days together is our expectation that God speaks and acts and moves... that we are part of a greater family of believers... We have faith and believe we have trust and have faith that asking for bread our Father will not give us a stone ... Children of an amazing God ... One who rules Heaven and Earth... and He longs for us to interact with Him and see Him and know Him...
I am not asking you to believe in something that doesn't fill the scriptures with themselves.... There we see it time and time again... God manifesting Himself... before Christ walked the earth... While Christ walked upon this soil.. and since He has gone back to be with the Father... Biblical and historical accounts are filled with interactions with the Lord... His angelic beings... His hosts... His Kingdom...
I am asking you to believe that the God who states that He is the same for all time that was and that will be wants you to have eyes that can see.. ears that can hear.. and hearts that comprehend ..... And that it is as easy as believing that He is all around you.. surrounding you every moment of every day....
One last thing ..... Recently my sight has grown... grown exponentially.... Why? I simply chose to believe that which I just said... I simply positioned myself and the way I think to believe that which God says about Himself to be true... My question to myself was if I am going to live as a Christian... then why not believe that which I say I do by the declaration of that faith? And open my eyes became even more...
I will also say this.... My eyes didn't open so that I could have the new revelation of the time or to have and obtain the word of the hour... My eyes opened so that I could know my God... and see.... the motivation of my heart is to know Him... to know that He knows me... To see Him and to watch Him watching me....
And it is a glorious thing... I trust and believe... I trust and believe that He so loves me and wants me to know Him and know my eternal home that of course He will show me all that is good and beautiful and perfect... I am His girl............
Second of Five ways to increase your ability to see... Simply.. See... Open Your Eyes and Inject Your Heart With Courage and Faith AND ... SEE
See....
I have to admit a bit of exasperation ... That's my flesh... That's just me... I want to dispel the notion that sight is for the few... The elect... The special
Think...
What if it was a minority of people who saw in the natural ... If the majority of people were blind .. How would that change the way we lived ?
But we accept that reality in the spirit and in the Kingdom and allow ourselves to walk around with eyes that are closed and blind ....
I want to demystify the mysterious to the point, not where we lose awe and reverence, but to the place where we put those that we acknowledge as having a history of sight and diminish ourselves in the ridiculous playground hierarchy in it's place.... Which is the garbage....
I respect authority and submit my life appropriately but I do not believe that while there are those who have learned to acknowledge what they see more..... that they actually have some special capacity beyond any other child of God to do so....
It is walking daily with eyes open and with the heart expectation that God is always showing His children something... It might not be what one expected to see or even what one even wanted to see but God is always active and in some facet visible ...
I want to interject hope and courage and faith into those that stumble around in the darkness to simply open your eyes and see....
OK... Well, Mims... You are used to it so what helped in the way beginning? I'm hungry .. I want to see but I don't
OK.... Reader... I don't believe you :) I really don't believe that you don't see and here is why... When people come up to me and say that ... Here are the questions I start asking...
1) Do you ever quickly turn your head to the side because out of the corner of your eye you could swear you saw something? Well guess what you did!!
2) Did you ever just get the sensation or impression that there was something standing in a specific place only to dismiss it as some crazy thought?
3) Did you while looking at someone ever see a flash, a light, a color, or some sort of picture overlaid upon that person?
4) Did you ever sense movement or anticipate an action and then watch as someone did it?
5) Are you told often either by others or yourself that you have an overactive imagination?
Guess what most people dismiss over 85% of the interactions between themselves and the spirit! Most people dismiss and brush off the wooing of the Lord as some fanciful notion...
Most people set themselves up to ignore the vitality of life that stands knocking at their door just because they allow doubt to have a greater voice and fear of being wrong or of failing to have a louder imprint upon their souls then the interactions of God...
So how did I grow in being able to see the Lord more... I opened my eyes and took courage and believed that having asked for bread my Father wouldn't give me a stone ...
It's like asking for wisdom ... I don't want to be tossed about here and there I WANT TO SEE!!
So I believe and I choose to know that I can see Him and aspects of His kingdom all the time and He sees me and watches me all the time.... He is my Father and it is simply He doesn't want me to be blind to that which is ...
One last thought and statement ... I look up and see the sky and I see God speaking .. I look at something one of my children does and I see God in the moment... I look at the simple elements or aspects of my day and see Divine movement and presence...
Yes I also see in the spirit with the eyes of my heart... Yes I also see with my eyes .. But I see with my knower and I know that I see God.... Open up your heart... Your spirit.... Your mind... And your eyes and walk forward in courage God will not lead you down a path of deception .... Your Father hungers for you to see Him as He engages Himself in your life moment by moment .... It is a beautiful and glorious thing!!!!
SEE.....
I have to admit a bit of exasperation ... That's my flesh... That's just me... I want to dispel the notion that sight is for the few... The elect... The special
Think...
What if it was a minority of people who saw in the natural ... If the majority of people were blind .. How would that change the way we lived ?
But we accept that reality in the spirit and in the Kingdom and allow ourselves to walk around with eyes that are closed and blind ....
I want to demystify the mysterious to the point, not where we lose awe and reverence, but to the place where we put those that we acknowledge as having a history of sight and diminish ourselves in the ridiculous playground hierarchy in it's place.... Which is the garbage....
I respect authority and submit my life appropriately but I do not believe that while there are those who have learned to acknowledge what they see more..... that they actually have some special capacity beyond any other child of God to do so....
It is walking daily with eyes open and with the heart expectation that God is always showing His children something... It might not be what one expected to see or even what one even wanted to see but God is always active and in some facet visible ...
I want to interject hope and courage and faith into those that stumble around in the darkness to simply open your eyes and see....
OK... Well, Mims... You are used to it so what helped in the way beginning? I'm hungry .. I want to see but I don't
OK.... Reader... I don't believe you :) I really don't believe that you don't see and here is why... When people come up to me and say that ... Here are the questions I start asking...
1) Do you ever quickly turn your head to the side because out of the corner of your eye you could swear you saw something? Well guess what you did!!
2) Did you ever just get the sensation or impression that there was something standing in a specific place only to dismiss it as some crazy thought?
3) Did you while looking at someone ever see a flash, a light, a color, or some sort of picture overlaid upon that person?
4) Did you ever sense movement or anticipate an action and then watch as someone did it?
5) Are you told often either by others or yourself that you have an overactive imagination?
Guess what most people dismiss over 85% of the interactions between themselves and the spirit! Most people dismiss and brush off the wooing of the Lord as some fanciful notion...
Most people set themselves up to ignore the vitality of life that stands knocking at their door just because they allow doubt to have a greater voice and fear of being wrong or of failing to have a louder imprint upon their souls then the interactions of God...
So how did I grow in being able to see the Lord more... I opened my eyes and took courage and believed that having asked for bread my Father wouldn't give me a stone ...
It's like asking for wisdom ... I don't want to be tossed about here and there I WANT TO SEE!!
So I believe and I choose to know that I can see Him and aspects of His kingdom all the time and He sees me and watches me all the time.... He is my Father and it is simply He doesn't want me to be blind to that which is ...
One last thought and statement ... I look up and see the sky and I see God speaking .. I look at something one of my children does and I see God in the moment... I look at the simple elements or aspects of my day and see Divine movement and presence...
Yes I also see in the spirit with the eyes of my heart... Yes I also see with my eyes .. But I see with my knower and I know that I see God.... Open up your heart... Your spirit.... Your mind... And your eyes and walk forward in courage God will not lead you down a path of deception .... Your Father hungers for you to see Him as He engages Himself in your life moment by moment .... It is a beautiful and glorious thing!!!!
SEE.....
I was right and I was wrong all at the same time... sometimes sight doesn't bring pleasure... what do we do when it brings pain
Sometimes it isn't so much fun seeing..... sometimes that which we see brings pain or weight.. sometimes that which we see evokes the need for a heart change ..... Sight should always bring growth but it isn't necessarily unproblematic.
I guess I should know You better than this by now... having now seen I realize more of what this new time with You is about.... I thought it would be solely a romance... I thought it would be solely about wooing my heart and others to know how much You love seeing us and being seen by us and that which flows out of those times.... I was right and wrong at the same time....
I was wrong because today didn't feel like a romance... Today Your finger and sight brought pain and I sit here undone and weepy.... I was wrong in my perception of what these times were going to be ... However even in being wrong in that which You were going to do I was right that it was solely going to be about romance... and it was solely about wooing my heart and others to know how much You love seeing us and being seen by us and that which flows out of those times.... I was right and wrong at the same time.....
I am still a girl so very much in love with her Lord... realizing the title Lord lives between us as much as Savior, Redeemer, friend, Father does..... and I have declared with my soul... my heart, my mind, my will..... emotion... strength... that I will go where He leads......
Today I saw You... I saw Your finger reaching out and then I saw a picture of her and my knee jerk reaction was to shake my head and say no to You... I think I was in shock... I was waiting for You ... Knowing that the time had come where within this time that we have that You would be coming.... but never expecting it would look different... never expecting this time to hold within it pain first..... Sight of You bringing pain.... I have known Your healing... I have known Your discipline... I have known these things but this was deeper and different....
This was an extraction without the novocain... and You were adamant.... Standing there silently but so firm that Your strength vibrated off Your person... I swallowed hard... Looked up although everything within me so didn't want to.....
Deep breath .... and I said, "OK." My mother's mother... we called her nana.... and today it was that which You wanted me to see....
Whether it be pain that still resides within my heart or judgment that lives in my mind.... Your finger came as one of a surgeon and Your Lordship came to own more of the territory that is called my heart....
So I was right and I was wrong...
Wrong that these times would only encompass the pleasure aspect of our relationship but even in saying that I know how right I was... because these times do encompass the pleasure aspect of our relationship... it just doesn't always look the way I think it would....
Sight brought pain today but in receiving Your direction it also brought forth pleasure.... Pleasure in the knowledge that You see me... all of me.. and when something is harming me... something I am not even aware of... something I even thought I had overcome... You come and You see me and You say, "this!" Being seen by You is the most delightful aspect of this life... You see me... You know me... You lead me...
As You see me ... You see me completely and in Your sight of me I am made whole... As You see me I become that which You fully see.. more of You and less of me.... As You see me I am becoming me as You always intended for me to be......
I am a girl so in love with the One who sees and knows completely... I am a girl in love with a Lord who catches up my breath and causes my heart to leap.... I am a girl being changed into who she always wanted to be and I am a girl who oozes gratitude.....
I guess I should know You better than this by now... having now seen I realize more of what this new time with You is about.... I thought it would be solely a romance... I thought it would be solely about wooing my heart and others to know how much You love seeing us and being seen by us and that which flows out of those times.... I was right and wrong at the same time....
I was wrong because today didn't feel like a romance... Today Your finger and sight brought pain and I sit here undone and weepy.... I was wrong in my perception of what these times were going to be ... However even in being wrong in that which You were going to do I was right that it was solely going to be about romance... and it was solely about wooing my heart and others to know how much You love seeing us and being seen by us and that which flows out of those times.... I was right and wrong at the same time.....
I am still a girl so very much in love with her Lord... realizing the title Lord lives between us as much as Savior, Redeemer, friend, Father does..... and I have declared with my soul... my heart, my mind, my will..... emotion... strength... that I will go where He leads......
Today I saw You... I saw Your finger reaching out and then I saw a picture of her and my knee jerk reaction was to shake my head and say no to You... I think I was in shock... I was waiting for You ... Knowing that the time had come where within this time that we have that You would be coming.... but never expecting it would look different... never expecting this time to hold within it pain first..... Sight of You bringing pain.... I have known Your healing... I have known Your discipline... I have known these things but this was deeper and different....
This was an extraction without the novocain... and You were adamant.... Standing there silently but so firm that Your strength vibrated off Your person... I swallowed hard... Looked up although everything within me so didn't want to.....
Deep breath .... and I said, "OK." My mother's mother... we called her nana.... and today it was that which You wanted me to see....
Whether it be pain that still resides within my heart or judgment that lives in my mind.... Your finger came as one of a surgeon and Your Lordship came to own more of the territory that is called my heart....
So I was right and I was wrong...
Wrong that these times would only encompass the pleasure aspect of our relationship but even in saying that I know how right I was... because these times do encompass the pleasure aspect of our relationship... it just doesn't always look the way I think it would....
Sight brought pain today but in receiving Your direction it also brought forth pleasure.... Pleasure in the knowledge that You see me... all of me.. and when something is harming me... something I am not even aware of... something I even thought I had overcome... You come and You see me and You say, "this!" Being seen by You is the most delightful aspect of this life... You see me... You know me... You lead me...
As You see me ... You see me completely and in Your sight of me I am made whole... As You see me I become that which You fully see.. more of You and less of me.... As You see me I am becoming me as You always intended for me to be......
I am a girl so in love with the One who sees and knows completely... I am a girl in love with a Lord who catches up my breath and causes my heart to leap.... I am a girl being changed into who she always wanted to be and I am a girl who oozes gratitude.....
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
First of Five Ways to Increase your Ability to Have Eyes That See
Make it Personal----
The most poignant times I have had seeing the Lord or some aspect of His Kingdom have been when He has come to have relationship with me...
Any other fruit of something He shows me in that time is secondary.... There is a genuine Lover of my soul aspect or Father to child that comes regularly throughout the day... The more I have those the more I hunger for them.... They are intimate moments between us... Him showing me things in those times usually serves to add to me personally... Love, strength, courage, creativity...
Those times are initiated by Him mostly.. But when I have a hunger or a need He comes as well.... Those times are filled with sweetness and life and love...
Think practical He is our Father... Lover of our Souls.... He is hungry to be with us just for the sake of being with us... He wants us to see Him and be seen by Him... He delights in showing us aspects of our Kingdom home so to remind us of where we come from...
Make it relational!!!!! That's what seeing and being seen is.... "I see you..." also says I know you... And that you are known
Coming soon....
See, Trust and Faith, Ask Questions, Risk
The most poignant times I have had seeing the Lord or some aspect of His Kingdom have been when He has come to have relationship with me...
Any other fruit of something He shows me in that time is secondary.... There is a genuine Lover of my soul aspect or Father to child that comes regularly throughout the day... The more I have those the more I hunger for them.... They are intimate moments between us... Him showing me things in those times usually serves to add to me personally... Love, strength, courage, creativity...
Those times are initiated by Him mostly.. But when I have a hunger or a need He comes as well.... Those times are filled with sweetness and life and love...
Think practical He is our Father... Lover of our Souls.... He is hungry to be with us just for the sake of being with us... He wants us to see Him and be seen by Him... He delights in showing us aspects of our Kingdom home so to remind us of where we come from...
Make it relational!!!!! That's what seeing and being seen is.... "I see you..." also says I know you... And that you are known
Coming soon....
See, Trust and Faith, Ask Questions, Risk
Learning to have eyes that see.... and WOW!!! Does it truly change everything.. most of all me
I really love this "see and be seen" journey that we walk..... You see me and open through grace my eyes as to see you...... so first let me tell you how much my heart leaps and skips when I sense Your presence while granting that I do acknowledge even without that sense Your eyes never leave me... Your whole being never forsakes me... Your awareness of me is complete at all times....
But when on specific encounters You open the atmosphere and I get to see you seeing me... Oh my am I left changed.... Every time.... You are astoundingly so in love with me that You draw me into that love and through touching it I am made instantly different... closer to the image of the One whose image I long to bear and whose image I will fully bear as I walk into eternity.....
Today as You saw me.... I melted straight away for Your presence and then the words that came forth melted me even more ..... Such a picture granted of what You see and now stamped upon my person I understand a tad more fully Your affections.....
As You stood there and I saw You seeing me... You brought forth an image of the likeness of the story of Beauty and the Beast... But with a twist.... Both exist within the frame of my being and yet no matter how beastly I might be or behave You always only ever see the beauty.....
Your eyes of love always see beyond the beast into the heart where You perfectly acknowledge the exquisiteness of that which You have made within.... Where You see that which You know.... You see me as I really am.... and in those eyes of Yours I am made complete.....
In being seen by You and being allowed to see as You see I enter into that beauty all the more... Being wooed onward into the completed aspect of me that already exists and lives within Your heart... You began a excellent work within my soul and are enticing it forward towards the finishing point.... You .. my life is all encompassed by You....
I smile... breathe in... close my eyes... The reality of this almost too much for me to bear... however You saturate me with grace as to receive all the benefits of Your affections so as to be made new and whole by them every time....
Today I saw You ... I saw as You standing there watching me... and oh my goodness am I in love... I looked upon Your person and without one movement or one spoken word... at just the mere sight of You my heart was pulled forward and in....
As my eyes beheld You a warmth flowed into my core and saturated all that is me and I could feel my affections being lifted up... I could feel my attentions being placed into the right place for the day.... In seeing You I hunger to be more like You and have all that I am arise to the ways upon which You think and walk....
Seeing You lifts me up so that I can soar beyond anything I ever imagined I could do... Seeing You empowers me to walk through a day full of life and live it in such a way that weariness and toll burn away ... Seeing You grants me hope and vision and strength... Seeing You reminds me what all of this is all about and brands into me that picture and causes my being to focus and my eyes to lose distraction... Seeing You grants me glimpses into the eternal and fills me with a wonderment that empowers me to move through time and become more like that which I see......
I am such a girl... I am such a girl that is in love with You.... You... Marvelous.. wonderful.. powerful.. incredible... amazing You..... Lover of my soul... Lover of an earth bound (for now) creature.... Lover of me...
You love me oh so very well....
I am such a girl who has that love coursing through her veins... I am such a girl that lives with a gleam in her eye and a delight in her heart and a strength in her bones because of Your all empowering affection and adoration of that which You have made.... me... the object of Your affections... I sit and I linger... for I am such a girl....
But when on specific encounters You open the atmosphere and I get to see you seeing me... Oh my am I left changed.... Every time.... You are astoundingly so in love with me that You draw me into that love and through touching it I am made instantly different... closer to the image of the One whose image I long to bear and whose image I will fully bear as I walk into eternity.....
Today as You saw me.... I melted straight away for Your presence and then the words that came forth melted me even more ..... Such a picture granted of what You see and now stamped upon my person I understand a tad more fully Your affections.....
As You stood there and I saw You seeing me... You brought forth an image of the likeness of the story of Beauty and the Beast... But with a twist.... Both exist within the frame of my being and yet no matter how beastly I might be or behave You always only ever see the beauty.....
Your eyes of love always see beyond the beast into the heart where You perfectly acknowledge the exquisiteness of that which You have made within.... Where You see that which You know.... You see me as I really am.... and in those eyes of Yours I am made complete.....
In being seen by You and being allowed to see as You see I enter into that beauty all the more... Being wooed onward into the completed aspect of me that already exists and lives within Your heart... You began a excellent work within my soul and are enticing it forward towards the finishing point.... You .. my life is all encompassed by You....
I smile... breathe in... close my eyes... The reality of this almost too much for me to bear... however You saturate me with grace as to receive all the benefits of Your affections so as to be made new and whole by them every time....
Today I saw You ... I saw as You standing there watching me... and oh my goodness am I in love... I looked upon Your person and without one movement or one spoken word... at just the mere sight of You my heart was pulled forward and in....
As my eyes beheld You a warmth flowed into my core and saturated all that is me and I could feel my affections being lifted up... I could feel my attentions being placed into the right place for the day.... In seeing You I hunger to be more like You and have all that I am arise to the ways upon which You think and walk....
Seeing You lifts me up so that I can soar beyond anything I ever imagined I could do... Seeing You empowers me to walk through a day full of life and live it in such a way that weariness and toll burn away ... Seeing You grants me hope and vision and strength... Seeing You reminds me what all of this is all about and brands into me that picture and causes my being to focus and my eyes to lose distraction... Seeing You grants me glimpses into the eternal and fills me with a wonderment that empowers me to move through time and become more like that which I see......
I am such a girl... I am such a girl that is in love with You.... You... Marvelous.. wonderful.. powerful.. incredible... amazing You..... Lover of my soul... Lover of an earth bound (for now) creature.... Lover of me...
You love me oh so very well....
I am such a girl who has that love coursing through her veins... I am such a girl that lives with a gleam in her eye and a delight in her heart and a strength in her bones because of Your all empowering affection and adoration of that which You have made.... me... the object of Your affections... I sit and I linger... for I am such a girl....
Monday, February 21, 2011
A girl in love .... simple and profound... ordinary and extraordinary
I Saw You Today...................
A dream of a girl.... full of love and hope.... eyes fixed ..... heart glued.......
Welcome to what I believe will be a new project..... one of many......
Today I saw Him and as I did I felt Him woo me over to the sofa.... as we sat and I watched Him and watched Him watching me I could feel His heart....
Pictures of other times flashed through my head....
The times with His messengers... The times with Him.... Times within Creation.... Times rich and full ... whether visible or invisible... whether a roar and a shout or a sweet sweet whisper...... And I could fill Him pulling me in and telling me ... "I saw you today...."
It was Him saying to me and Him wanting me to say it back to Him....... There is a very natural and beautiful way about us... He and I ... no hype... no drama... just a girl and her Love..... and I am seen and He is seen... I am seen and aspects of His life and Kingdom are seen.... I am seen by Him and relish in all that that entails... the good, the bad, the ugly, the profane, the beautiful.... because He changes it all... He changes it all when He is seen....
His messengers bring forth comfort... strength... encouragement.... His pictures and His stories and His offered glimpses into His realm only serve to do the same.... I am girl who walks with her Lord... and there is everything and nothing special about it all at the same time....
So welcome to my daily devotional.... It will have another place soon.... but for now this will do..... It will be a daily bread of sorts... a come and eat and see and be seen offering......
Today's is this....
I saw Him and I knew there was both correction and joy in His stance..... the joy had to do with the fact that I had saturated myself so in His love that the correction was landing well... not as rebuke or as condemnation.... but simply as a correction in how I was dancing with life and with Him.... and His joy over flowed over me because I could receive it and relish the fact that He loves me enough to challenge all that I would be that is other than Him....... In His image but with my fingerprint... dead yet alive... such a journey this is... what a most marvelous dance..... I love His songs of correction as they are song over me... they woo my heart into His ways and His thoughts... and that is the most beautiful and treasured thing a girl in love with her Lord could ask for..............
A dream of a girl.... full of love and hope.... eyes fixed ..... heart glued.......
Welcome to what I believe will be a new project..... one of many......
Today I saw Him and as I did I felt Him woo me over to the sofa.... as we sat and I watched Him and watched Him watching me I could feel His heart....
Pictures of other times flashed through my head....
The times with His messengers... The times with Him.... Times within Creation.... Times rich and full ... whether visible or invisible... whether a roar and a shout or a sweet sweet whisper...... And I could fill Him pulling me in and telling me ... "I saw you today...."
It was Him saying to me and Him wanting me to say it back to Him....... There is a very natural and beautiful way about us... He and I ... no hype... no drama... just a girl and her Love..... and I am seen and He is seen... I am seen and aspects of His life and Kingdom are seen.... I am seen by Him and relish in all that that entails... the good, the bad, the ugly, the profane, the beautiful.... because He changes it all... He changes it all when He is seen....
His messengers bring forth comfort... strength... encouragement.... His pictures and His stories and His offered glimpses into His realm only serve to do the same.... I am girl who walks with her Lord... and there is everything and nothing special about it all at the same time....
So welcome to my daily devotional.... It will have another place soon.... but for now this will do..... It will be a daily bread of sorts... a come and eat and see and be seen offering......
Today's is this....
I saw Him and I knew there was both correction and joy in His stance..... the joy had to do with the fact that I had saturated myself so in His love that the correction was landing well... not as rebuke or as condemnation.... but simply as a correction in how I was dancing with life and with Him.... and His joy over flowed over me because I could receive it and relish the fact that He loves me enough to challenge all that I would be that is other than Him....... In His image but with my fingerprint... dead yet alive... such a journey this is... what a most marvelous dance..... I love His songs of correction as they are song over me... they woo my heart into His ways and His thoughts... and that is the most beautiful and treasured thing a girl in love with her Lord could ask for..............
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Depths Unknown
I am venturing into deeper territory than I have ever known... and as I step down further and further into this place I feel life coursing through my veins even more....
As I walk into a place of not just relaying facts and stories I find myself discovering that my heart is wide open and able to share intimate details that once were left out and kept hidden.... Thoughts and feelings that more frame out the telling of a life's tale.....
These landscapes... this adventure ... this place .. it is beckoning me to become even more.... to continue to take off veils and look at myself directly in the mirror of God's love....
This life... these steps....
excitement.... joy..... delight.... freedom... power... love ...
watching as I leave the chains of shame and fear and disappointment behind and grab a hold of a hand that is strong and sure.....
I can venture further into the unknown for He leads so very well
As I walk into a place of not just relaying facts and stories I find myself discovering that my heart is wide open and able to share intimate details that once were left out and kept hidden.... Thoughts and feelings that more frame out the telling of a life's tale.....
These landscapes... this adventure ... this place .. it is beckoning me to become even more.... to continue to take off veils and look at myself directly in the mirror of God's love....
This life... these steps....
excitement.... joy..... delight.... freedom... power... love ...
watching as I leave the chains of shame and fear and disappointment behind and grab a hold of a hand that is strong and sure.....
I can venture further into the unknown for He leads so very well
I was once mentally ill and no that isn't a metaphor for anything... I was once mentally ill
I awoke tonight and have been finding that while it makes the day long these night hours are becoming a treasure... time spent is worth sleep missed... as long as I pace myself... I can't take this time in the night if in return I then lack the strength to be the mom I hunger to be and so I am learning a new what rest and time mean in the eyes of my Creator.... His time scale... His pace.... His time.... and to submit to times of rest even during the day..... house might not look like one from Homes and Gardens and yet I must say that I don't think I'll care in the years to come how many days laundry didn't get done... or the dishes were in the sink.... My God, my husband, my children, my community... my writing... to those ends I pace myself....
But tonight... tonight in all His grace I could see where He was leading and yet this time the knee jerk reaction wasn't to say "Oh please let's not go there..." and as I heard Him express how to write it and saw the words formulating into phrases I gained courage... and while I have written around this subject I never fully dove in.... afraid of the stigma... afraid of the thoughts and opinions of others.... I would write around it but never bluntly say the words... maybe you think I have but I know my heart and I haven't ....
And this is now my journey.... back into vunerability... back into discovering my voice... breaking the back bone of shame... breaking the back bone of fear... and stepping into a place I have run from............
He knit me together in my mother's womb but would He knit me back together..... so horrified by the reality of where my mind and my life were and yet what I had to do..... a wife, a mom, a lover of God and yet so fragmented.... laying on the fouton there and not being able to get up.... how could I be here while there was so much still to be done in my children's lives... how could I feel this burned out as a mom.. this broken as a human being.... and I was glued to that fouton not able to move and horrified that I was going to fail at the jobs that I wanted my heart to care about......
He did knit me together and He did tear down and then He recreated..... the pot had had an air bubble in it and the fire would have left it broken and cracked.... so smashing that piece of formed yet not hardened clay was His only choice.. but He waited on mine...... Would I trust Him? Would I lay my life at His feet? The bones were already there... a pile of them..... But not yet a will..... But a choice was made.... a piece of clay was pushed back together to become a ball and He began to reform that which He knew I would always become....
My mind and heart were broken...... My will shattered... But that was not to be the end of my story
But tonight... tonight in all His grace I could see where He was leading and yet this time the knee jerk reaction wasn't to say "Oh please let's not go there..." and as I heard Him express how to write it and saw the words formulating into phrases I gained courage... and while I have written around this subject I never fully dove in.... afraid of the stigma... afraid of the thoughts and opinions of others.... I would write around it but never bluntly say the words... maybe you think I have but I know my heart and I haven't ....
And this is now my journey.... back into vunerability... back into discovering my voice... breaking the back bone of shame... breaking the back bone of fear... and stepping into a place I have run from............
He knit me together in my mother's womb but would He knit me back together..... so horrified by the reality of where my mind and my life were and yet what I had to do..... a wife, a mom, a lover of God and yet so fragmented.... laying on the fouton there and not being able to get up.... how could I be here while there was so much still to be done in my children's lives... how could I feel this burned out as a mom.. this broken as a human being.... and I was glued to that fouton not able to move and horrified that I was going to fail at the jobs that I wanted my heart to care about......
He did knit me together and He did tear down and then He recreated..... the pot had had an air bubble in it and the fire would have left it broken and cracked.... so smashing that piece of formed yet not hardened clay was His only choice.. but He waited on mine...... Would I trust Him? Would I lay my life at His feet? The bones were already there... a pile of them..... But not yet a will..... But a choice was made.... a piece of clay was pushed back together to become a ball and He began to reform that which He knew I would always become....
My mind and heart were broken...... My will shattered... But that was not to be the end of my story
Saturday, February 19, 2011
My heart... His heart... My reality... His reality... A Father/Daughter Dance...
I look around my house and honestly I'd be horrified to have even the closest of friends come over right now..... Coming off of what would now be over 5 weeks of having some combination of kids sick with a multitude of different things.. I am weary.. the house is weary... Laundry (thanks to a wonderful mom) was actually (please don't judge me) sent out to one of those wash, dry and fold places because between the washer machine being broken amidst kids throwing up and all the else and a company who thinks that taking two weeks to fix a broken appliance is acceptable even with a service contract... this momma was extremely close... OK... let's just say it... was at the breaking point ...... or maybe the breaking point had come and gone and I was in that dazed eye ... shallow breathing... barely existing place.....
In this place where flesh meets road and becomes road kill and all the doubts and lacks of life would come in and scream to have their way.... steps upon the terrain my Lord... Coaxing my heart upwards... coaxing my heart to see as He would see and think as He would think and live as He would live... To love as He would love.....
Moving forward and yet not having learned yet not to look back I find myself.... more like Lot's wife than like the Mary I want to be.... and then again He comes and not with a finger shaking saying don't think that way... but with His heart exposed saying "I love you!" In all the ways He knows to speak to my soul and strengthen my spirit......
Hungering at times and lost at times and yet a Father pouring forth His affections saying I have found you and made you my own... I have fed you and given you water to drink.. I am preparing a place for you so that you and I can be together forever and ever .... Not telling me to carte blanche trust Him but wooing my heart time after time showing me that trust is something so forged between us that even when I let go and falter His grip is assured......
So I just don't get it sometimes ... more times than not.... I walk into these places where all of this is true and then like a person who walks away from the mirror can so easily forget that which is so very true.... so more real than anything upon this earth.... and He comes not to scold but just to remind.... to remind to be ... I am His daughter... forged and fashioned in His image... created to be co-heirs with Christ to a Kingdom whose existence knows no lack and no end....
His love carries me as a mom when I wonder how He thought I could raise six children well and after His heart.... His love carries a wife when I wonder how to love a man who through all else was His perfect best for me... His love carries a girl who wants to love her Lord with everything within her... His love carries His daughter... forward.. onward...
His boldness... His strength.. His warmth.. His love ... His passions are changing me day upon day.... My Home.. my real Home... the reality of it sinks further and further into who I am... I have been of the world not just in it... but the reality of my home is washing the "of the world" off and that which is emerging is my Father's masterpiece... He is sculpting me and carving me daily and I look forward to the chisel for His hands upon my life is all this heart longs for.........................
In this place where flesh meets road and becomes road kill and all the doubts and lacks of life would come in and scream to have their way.... steps upon the terrain my Lord... Coaxing my heart upwards... coaxing my heart to see as He would see and think as He would think and live as He would live... To love as He would love.....
Moving forward and yet not having learned yet not to look back I find myself.... more like Lot's wife than like the Mary I want to be.... and then again He comes and not with a finger shaking saying don't think that way... but with His heart exposed saying "I love you!" In all the ways He knows to speak to my soul and strengthen my spirit......
Hungering at times and lost at times and yet a Father pouring forth His affections saying I have found you and made you my own... I have fed you and given you water to drink.. I am preparing a place for you so that you and I can be together forever and ever .... Not telling me to carte blanche trust Him but wooing my heart time after time showing me that trust is something so forged between us that even when I let go and falter His grip is assured......
So I just don't get it sometimes ... more times than not.... I walk into these places where all of this is true and then like a person who walks away from the mirror can so easily forget that which is so very true.... so more real than anything upon this earth.... and He comes not to scold but just to remind.... to remind to be ... I am His daughter... forged and fashioned in His image... created to be co-heirs with Christ to a Kingdom whose existence knows no lack and no end....
His love carries me as a mom when I wonder how He thought I could raise six children well and after His heart.... His love carries a wife when I wonder how to love a man who through all else was His perfect best for me... His love carries a girl who wants to love her Lord with everything within her... His love carries His daughter... forward.. onward...
His boldness... His strength.. His warmth.. His love ... His passions are changing me day upon day.... My Home.. my real Home... the reality of it sinks further and further into who I am... I have been of the world not just in it... but the reality of my home is washing the "of the world" off and that which is emerging is my Father's masterpiece... He is sculpting me and carving me daily and I look forward to the chisel for His hands upon my life is all this heart longs for.........................
Knives that rip into each other and leave one another with scars...........
So I woke up in the middle of the night... I had fallen asleep on the sofa and Gregory had gotten up.... got back settled into bed.... As I lay there getting comfortable and drifting back off to sleep I heard something that startled and terrified me ..... I'm used to hearing things with my spirit and trying to get used to hearing things in other ways.... but this ... this was fully audible... and my thoughts did not go to any thought that would have brought peace and would have said it was just something in the spirit.....
I heard knives.. knives sharpening against one another... and the steel upon steel sound sent terror throughout my being.... Something you need to know about me is that I don't watch shows like Criminal Minds or whatever title you want to put upon those tv shows like that.... I don't watch horror movies.. or serial killer movies or whatever you want to call them.... I am not making any statement about them ... those images are too real for me.. I can't watch them... I wouldn't be able to shake them and they would only serve to disrupt my being....
So I heard knives sharpening against one another... steel upon steel and while there were lots of first thoughts to probably have the ones I had were the following... read them..... because once I understood that this was the Lord.... these thoughts took on a whole other level of meaning....
Someone was in our home.. our home... and this was the sound that they made before killing their victims..... someone was in our home and sharpening their knives and they were going to sharpen their knives in front of us and then they were going to cut us and harm us and kill us and hurt our children.....
I thought of two of our sons who aren't home and I thought of what it would be like for them if this was really what was happening....
Listen I realize that I am now typing this.... and I can actually sit with the lights off and not be startled by every single noise... but over an hour ago... I heard this sound and then our dog started to bark and I was gripped with the fear of it...
But I am glad that that was so....... because as I turned lights on and walked around the house turning lights on and praying and thinking and then getting back into bed.... the emotion of the whole event was truly upon me..... And I am glad ... I am glad I was gripped with horror and terror... I am glad that it stills lays oh so heavy upon my chest... I am glad because I now have a very intense picture of what it is like to not watch our words.... and to turn them against one another.......
Call it over active imagination.... Call it God giving me a incredibly detailed picture of that which our words do.....Call it whatever you will... the next paragraph gets slightly graphic as I share one of the images that lodged within my heart..... Because in the moments between not knowing what was going on and realizing what the Lord was doing and saying.... images beyond horrific played upon my heart and my mind.... Now I know to look at them through the lens of the metaphor which actually doesn't help..... and only really makes it worse because understanding was added to sight and sound and it only breaks my heart....
Let's just start at what one would think would be the small and not wrong usage of our words against a fellow child of God and against the one that would be our brother and sister for all eternity... just putting into light who it is you are talking about.....................
So one picture I had was of watching as a parent an intruder take a hold of my youngest son and run a sharpened knife ever so gently but with enough pressure against the top of his sweet little arm... enough of a cut so as to hurt... enough of a cut to send terror into the heart because this was going to be slow.... this was going to not just be death... this was going to be a slow brutal process of bit by bit and little by little tearing my son apart....Cutting his flesh open bit by bit... until his screams and his blood swirled around in a picture that still has a death hold grip of my heart......... THAT IS WHAT YOUR SMALL WORDS AGAINST A BROTHER LOOK LIKE IN THE SPIRIT AND I AM PISSED OFF THAT I HAVE TO SEE SUCH AN IMAGE... because it is staying with me.. I LOVE MY SON... I,Mims, love my son... BUT can you hear the FATHER saying that as well ... PLEASE DO ... please hear him roaring it... HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN and your words are slowly killing your brother and your sister and your Father's child........
Over active imagination or the Father laying upon my heart that which words do to one another.... I don't care what you call it.. the imagery is horrific and won't leave my heart alone and it is brutal....
Those "conversations" with just your closest friend or in the back green rooms or hospitality suites...
What do you think your words are doing in the spirit?
I can tell you what your words are doing.... they are not being used as iron against iron should be used...... they are being used to slash and to maim and to cut and to kill... and to leave your brother or your sister... uhm no let's once again say Father's child... cut apart and bleeding ... and oh if they heal... there are scars ... and they are ugly.... they have altered the appearance of a child of God as a knife against ones face slashing and slashing it until even the best of plastic surgeons couldn't repair it fully...
We have with our words altered the ways our family looks... we have brazenly and stupidly used our words to bring great harm to those we are called to love....
I was brought to a place of utter terror tonight... as I laid in bed thinking of what it would mean as a parent to have to watch some form of horrific torture played out upon my children.. I thought of what it would mean if they survived it... what would it mean for their hearts... what would it mean for their lives.... the way they perceived life....
And as I think of it all now in terms of metaphor it doesn't ease the pain or horror in my heart one iota.... because I realize that my Father watches as His children play these scenarios out upon one another time and time and time again..... and it leaves those in its wake barely surviving ... cuts all upon their person... gashes into their arms and their legs and faces... blood dripping from all the wounds...
Our words bring life or death.... wholeness or brutal savagery ....
There are no little words of death... there are no little words ... they all cut the flesh and leave one's person ripped apart...
And the questions exist for their lives.... in more ways than one...
what does it mean if they survived it... what would it mean for their hearts... what would it mean for their lives.... the way they perceived life....
I heard knives.. knives sharpening against one another... and the steel upon steel sound sent terror throughout my being.... Something you need to know about me is that I don't watch shows like Criminal Minds or whatever title you want to put upon those tv shows like that.... I don't watch horror movies.. or serial killer movies or whatever you want to call them.... I am not making any statement about them ... those images are too real for me.. I can't watch them... I wouldn't be able to shake them and they would only serve to disrupt my being....
So I heard knives sharpening against one another... steel upon steel and while there were lots of first thoughts to probably have the ones I had were the following... read them..... because once I understood that this was the Lord.... these thoughts took on a whole other level of meaning....
Someone was in our home.. our home... and this was the sound that they made before killing their victims..... someone was in our home and sharpening their knives and they were going to sharpen their knives in front of us and then they were going to cut us and harm us and kill us and hurt our children.....
I thought of two of our sons who aren't home and I thought of what it would be like for them if this was really what was happening....
Listen I realize that I am now typing this.... and I can actually sit with the lights off and not be startled by every single noise... but over an hour ago... I heard this sound and then our dog started to bark and I was gripped with the fear of it...
But I am glad that that was so....... because as I turned lights on and walked around the house turning lights on and praying and thinking and then getting back into bed.... the emotion of the whole event was truly upon me..... And I am glad ... I am glad I was gripped with horror and terror... I am glad that it stills lays oh so heavy upon my chest... I am glad because I now have a very intense picture of what it is like to not watch our words.... and to turn them against one another.......
Call it over active imagination.... Call it God giving me a incredibly detailed picture of that which our words do.....Call it whatever you will... the next paragraph gets slightly graphic as I share one of the images that lodged within my heart..... Because in the moments between not knowing what was going on and realizing what the Lord was doing and saying.... images beyond horrific played upon my heart and my mind.... Now I know to look at them through the lens of the metaphor which actually doesn't help..... and only really makes it worse because understanding was added to sight and sound and it only breaks my heart....
Let's just start at what one would think would be the small and not wrong usage of our words against a fellow child of God and against the one that would be our brother and sister for all eternity... just putting into light who it is you are talking about.....................
So one picture I had was of watching as a parent an intruder take a hold of my youngest son and run a sharpened knife ever so gently but with enough pressure against the top of his sweet little arm... enough of a cut so as to hurt... enough of a cut to send terror into the heart because this was going to be slow.... this was going to not just be death... this was going to be a slow brutal process of bit by bit and little by little tearing my son apart....Cutting his flesh open bit by bit... until his screams and his blood swirled around in a picture that still has a death hold grip of my heart......... THAT IS WHAT YOUR SMALL WORDS AGAINST A BROTHER LOOK LIKE IN THE SPIRIT AND I AM PISSED OFF THAT I HAVE TO SEE SUCH AN IMAGE... because it is staying with me.. I LOVE MY SON... I,Mims, love my son... BUT can you hear the FATHER saying that as well ... PLEASE DO ... please hear him roaring it... HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN and your words are slowly killing your brother and your sister and your Father's child........
Over active imagination or the Father laying upon my heart that which words do to one another.... I don't care what you call it.. the imagery is horrific and won't leave my heart alone and it is brutal....
Those "conversations" with just your closest friend or in the back green rooms or hospitality suites...
What do you think your words are doing in the spirit?
I can tell you what your words are doing.... they are not being used as iron against iron should be used...... they are being used to slash and to maim and to cut and to kill... and to leave your brother or your sister... uhm no let's once again say Father's child... cut apart and bleeding ... and oh if they heal... there are scars ... and they are ugly.... they have altered the appearance of a child of God as a knife against ones face slashing and slashing it until even the best of plastic surgeons couldn't repair it fully...
We have with our words altered the ways our family looks... we have brazenly and stupidly used our words to bring great harm to those we are called to love....
I was brought to a place of utter terror tonight... as I laid in bed thinking of what it would mean as a parent to have to watch some form of horrific torture played out upon my children.. I thought of what it would mean if they survived it... what would it mean for their hearts... what would it mean for their lives.... the way they perceived life....
And as I think of it all now in terms of metaphor it doesn't ease the pain or horror in my heart one iota.... because I realize that my Father watches as His children play these scenarios out upon one another time and time and time again..... and it leaves those in its wake barely surviving ... cuts all upon their person... gashes into their arms and their legs and faces... blood dripping from all the wounds...
Our words bring life or death.... wholeness or brutal savagery ....
There are no little words of death... there are no little words ... they all cut the flesh and leave one's person ripped apart...
And the questions exist for their lives.... in more ways than one...
what does it mean if they survived it... what would it mean for their hearts... what would it mean for their lives.... the way they perceived life....
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Blinded to all else but that which the Father would see... Oh what a glorious thought.....
I have a husband who brings out the absolute best in me... I am a better person because of his love and his challenges within my life...... I am more passionate about God... I am more resolved to follow after Him not as I would but as He would have me.... Jim confronts my mediocrity and fear with a passion and sensitivity that births out of it true life and for all of that I am so truly grateful....
So why? Why do I begin this note talking about Jim?
It is because something he recently said is like a pinpong ball within my very being and it is hitting all sorts of things in me and challenging me to go further... to go deeper... to see more as Christ would see and not as I would or as the world would....
So what was it that he said?
Well, he was speaking about how one person in a particular situation acted more out of self interest than in the interests of a friend..... The world would say that is completely normal... Heck, there are even people who would either applaud that situation or atleast grant approval..... and yet.... and yet we are not of this world... our thoughts and our ways need to be higher ... and our lives need to be soaked within the aroma of love and affection.....Love does not seek its own....
Let's look at it another way.... Who wouldn't want to be counted in the number of those that Jesus choose to linger by His side? When he was walking and performing great miracles... feeding the poor... healing the sick... the crowds gathered... the multitudes hung on every word.... Of course within that number even then were those that stood within for motivations that dealt more with self... more with "what do I benefit from this" mentality..... How about other scenes... How about when Jesus spoke about that one must eat of His flesh and drink of His blood and the multitudes left? How about when Jesus sat in the garden of gethesame? How about when Jesus was being brought before His accusers? How about when Jesus was dying upon the cross?
My husband challenges me through the way he lives his life .... so focused on how God perceives him or a situation that he doesn't allow himself to act in the "what abouts?" The what about what that might cost me... The what about what if I lose out... The what abouts..... He doesn't do it... He doesn't play a politically correct company line as to promote himself or his side.... I think at times he doesn't even have a personal side..... He attempts to find that which God is saying and doing and does it... I am not there... I do consider (although less and less) what things mean.... we have paid the costs in the past... lost friendships... lost favor..... I do seek my own... I am selfish.... I don't always right the wrong.....
But... and I love this but... I am learning to..... I am being propelled towards this person that I have always hoped I would be... my eyes are being blinded by love... blinded by a Father... a savior... to all else that would have me question the "what abouts"..... The only what about I want to ask is "What about the Father's heart?" What about what He would have me do? What about how He would want me to see this person, this situation.... His ways are so much higher... so much greater and they are beautiful and life giving and glorious... and I am so much richer for following His ways and thinking His thoughts.....
I want to be the person that admist accusations would sit and recline at Jesus' side... I want to be the person who sees beyond fault and accusation and sees that which the Father sees and does that which the Father would do... I don't want to be the person that has to be chastized by Christ because I hold a stone ... I want to be saying "woman where are your accusers..." I don't want to be the person denying the lover of my soul when confronted by anything... temptation... accusation... frailty... I want to look into the other's face and stand ... and declare that yes.. indeed... yes He is my Lord....
But I want to the person who one doesn't even have to ask do you know this man, Jesus.... Aren't you a follower of His? I want by my countenace... I want by my life ... I want to so be full of His frangrance that as it spills out of me ... it is apparent.... I want my life to be so saturated within His beauty that I no longer... absolutely... no longer live but He ... glorious... beautiful Him... lives His life through my person..... That is the the person I want to be... dead to myself... alive to Christ... eyes seeing as He sees... Heart beating as His beats... Hands healing as His heal.... Life being lived as His was lived and still continues to be done so....
Ever so thankful for a husband who leads the way..... who teaches me about courage... who affirms me in my weaknesses and loves me always... what was that command... Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church.... ah.. yes... well, sweet husband... you love me well... your love calls me into all that I am to become... You are a beautiful example of Christ loving the church into her truest identity as the Bride... so glad to be yours......
So why? Why do I begin this note talking about Jim?
It is because something he recently said is like a pinpong ball within my very being and it is hitting all sorts of things in me and challenging me to go further... to go deeper... to see more as Christ would see and not as I would or as the world would....
So what was it that he said?
Well, he was speaking about how one person in a particular situation acted more out of self interest than in the interests of a friend..... The world would say that is completely normal... Heck, there are even people who would either applaud that situation or atleast grant approval..... and yet.... and yet we are not of this world... our thoughts and our ways need to be higher ... and our lives need to be soaked within the aroma of love and affection.....Love does not seek its own....
Let's look at it another way.... Who wouldn't want to be counted in the number of those that Jesus choose to linger by His side? When he was walking and performing great miracles... feeding the poor... healing the sick... the crowds gathered... the multitudes hung on every word.... Of course within that number even then were those that stood within for motivations that dealt more with self... more with "what do I benefit from this" mentality..... How about other scenes... How about when Jesus spoke about that one must eat of His flesh and drink of His blood and the multitudes left? How about when Jesus sat in the garden of gethesame? How about when Jesus was being brought before His accusers? How about when Jesus was dying upon the cross?
My husband challenges me through the way he lives his life .... so focused on how God perceives him or a situation that he doesn't allow himself to act in the "what abouts?" The what about what that might cost me... The what about what if I lose out... The what abouts..... He doesn't do it... He doesn't play a politically correct company line as to promote himself or his side.... I think at times he doesn't even have a personal side..... He attempts to find that which God is saying and doing and does it... I am not there... I do consider (although less and less) what things mean.... we have paid the costs in the past... lost friendships... lost favor..... I do seek my own... I am selfish.... I don't always right the wrong.....
But... and I love this but... I am learning to..... I am being propelled towards this person that I have always hoped I would be... my eyes are being blinded by love... blinded by a Father... a savior... to all else that would have me question the "what abouts"..... The only what about I want to ask is "What about the Father's heart?" What about what He would have me do? What about how He would want me to see this person, this situation.... His ways are so much higher... so much greater and they are beautiful and life giving and glorious... and I am so much richer for following His ways and thinking His thoughts.....
I want to be the person that admist accusations would sit and recline at Jesus' side... I want to be the person who sees beyond fault and accusation and sees that which the Father sees and does that which the Father would do... I don't want to be the person that has to be chastized by Christ because I hold a stone ... I want to be saying "woman where are your accusers..." I don't want to be the person denying the lover of my soul when confronted by anything... temptation... accusation... frailty... I want to look into the other's face and stand ... and declare that yes.. indeed... yes He is my Lord....
But I want to the person who one doesn't even have to ask do you know this man, Jesus.... Aren't you a follower of His? I want by my countenace... I want by my life ... I want to so be full of His frangrance that as it spills out of me ... it is apparent.... I want my life to be so saturated within His beauty that I no longer... absolutely... no longer live but He ... glorious... beautiful Him... lives His life through my person..... That is the the person I want to be... dead to myself... alive to Christ... eyes seeing as He sees... Heart beating as His beats... Hands healing as His heal.... Life being lived as His was lived and still continues to be done so....
Ever so thankful for a husband who leads the way..... who teaches me about courage... who affirms me in my weaknesses and loves me always... what was that command... Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church.... ah.. yes... well, sweet husband... you love me well... your love calls me into all that I am to become... You are a beautiful example of Christ loving the church into her truest identity as the Bride... so glad to be yours......
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A most fervent passion
You pull me into Yourself and as I walk within that which Your invitation allows I find myself utterly changed... Enraptured by Your beauty and steadied by Your strength...
As You surround and envelope me I am caught up into that which You are and my soul is made complete... You're imprinting my being with Your image and I feel a connection so solid in it's nature that I am both steadied and undone
How do You do this ... Oh magnificent One... The Lover of my soul... You affections complete me and I abide ever so close ... Ever so attached to Your side...
Gratitude for said affections arises and pours forth from my being...
You are marvelous and that which You do is so ever awe inspiring
I love You and thoroughly enjoy being loved by You... Your Lordship is delightful
As You surround and envelope me I am caught up into that which You are and my soul is made complete... You're imprinting my being with Your image and I feel a connection so solid in it's nature that I am both steadied and undone
How do You do this ... Oh magnificent One... The Lover of my soul... You affections complete me and I abide ever so close ... Ever so attached to Your side...
Gratitude for said affections arises and pours forth from my being...
You are marvelous and that which You do is so ever awe inspiring
I love You and thoroughly enjoy being loved by You... Your Lordship is delightful
I triple dog dare you.... you will never be the same
Go ahead... dream.. imagine.... envision... picture in your mind's eye the most beautiful scene .. the most magnificent ... glorious.. splendid arrangement of terrains..... release your heart to dream.... persuade yourself to let go of reason and allow your heart to burst out of restraint.....
We place restraints upon our hopes so as to protect ourselves from disappointment... But dearest friend there is no capacity for disenchantment when you position your thoughts upon Him... and that place where He dwells.... there is no capacity for it to be anything less than it is ... and no human heart.. no mind of earthen bound creatures could paint too massive a portrait that that place wouldn't blow it away as a child blows upon a dandelion.....
to dwell for a second there... to breathe in her air.. to behold her beauty .. will enrapture you ... will ruin you.... will grab ahold of your affections and scream into your heart ... THIS... This is where you belong... This is the place of your citizenship... nothing more real exists... nothing more tangible than that place....
Learn to linger there... for that is home... Be ruined... The very air feeds the soul in ways only it can....
I love her terrains... I love her.... I love how that which she is births His image even more upon me... that seeing her makes me hunger for Him more and more ... and calls forth an allegance to His ways in a way that nothing else can....
We place restraints upon our hopes so as to protect ourselves from disappointment... But dearest friend there is no capacity for disenchantment when you position your thoughts upon Him... and that place where He dwells.... there is no capacity for it to be anything less than it is ... and no human heart.. no mind of earthen bound creatures could paint too massive a portrait that that place wouldn't blow it away as a child blows upon a dandelion.....
to dwell for a second there... to breathe in her air.. to behold her beauty .. will enrapture you ... will ruin you.... will grab ahold of your affections and scream into your heart ... THIS... This is where you belong... This is the place of your citizenship... nothing more real exists... nothing more tangible than that place....
Learn to linger there... for that is home... Be ruined... The very air feeds the soul in ways only it can....
I love her terrains... I love her.... I love how that which she is births His image even more upon me... that seeing her makes me hunger for Him more and more ... and calls forth an allegance to His ways in a way that nothing else can....
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Biology befits the Body... The Bride... The Church.
There was a time and a place where I was surrounded by those who by the very nature of who they were walked with me and I with them in similar understanding. There is a strength that was given unto me in that time within my journey ... where like attracted like and it was good..... iron sharpening iron... There was a place and time where sight was granted and ears were made attentive to that which can be heard and hearts were strengthened....
There was a place and a time where relationships were forged upon both good and bad terrains of life...... There was a place and a time where I could see how similar parts of the body come together and because they are fashioned into a bigger part operate jointly in a way that is mutually beneficial ..... Such as fingers are part of a hand and when fingers that joined to the hand operate more gets done with that hand because there are fingers attached to it.... there is a wrist and an arm and an elbow.... and when similar parts are together how that part operates makes more sense than when or if those parts were separate from one another...............
The hand is not the foot... fingers operate differently than toes.... I do not walk on my hands but I do not write with my toes..... my toes belong on my foot while my fingers belong to my hand....
Recently I sat in a conversation where within my experience of it I thought upon this subject .... If possible it was as if the body dissected and there was one part of it all.. one foot.. one hand.. one arm.. one eye... one ear.... journey with me for a moment as I try and express myself..... each part of the body was trying to express that which was their job.... and the other parts having never operated that job were trying to grasp that which that part believed and did.... to some parts ... well they could not fathom what it meant to be walked upon..... and other parts could not comprehend what it was like to physically take a hold of something .. such as when a hand grasps a pencil... Still other parts didn't know what it was like to be seen because they were hidden away within the body.... and those parts that were seen every day did not know of that hidden nature ...................
Within that experience I found myself longing to depart... growing weary of trying to express myself well and explain or even defend that which I knew to be true and operative aspects of my faith.... I wanted to segregate back to my portion of the body... let's say I was a finger.. I wanted to rejoin my hand and not try and understand that which the foot did... understanding that it did exist and knowing that in some way and form I needed it but that it was so other than me and so separate and so far apart that well... while we needed one another ... we could keep our distance... and that would be that..............
I was discouraged and saddened ... disheartened at first by the nature of the conversation and the confessions of it which had me feeling so utterly alone and so longing for a regrouping back to that which I knew and was comfortable in.... Within the body (not that I am medically aware at all and my understanding is elementary) there are systems... respiratory system, digestive system, circulatory system... etc.. etc... systems that work together to perform different tasks ... well.. I was missing my system ... I was missing the way things operate in my world... I just wanted the other parts to understand and believe that which I did and how necessary it was to the body operating as a whole unit....
I, in turn, wanted to appreciate and understand that which they did as well as value it but I was longing to be strengthened by commonality instead of being challenged.... If a part thinks that another part is dispensable and not necessary for the operation of the body as a whole ... than what does it mean to be that part within that community or conversation.....
Within those thoughts I found myself.... Remembering what it was like to belong to an operating system and to work within like parts........ Except....
We are one body and one part can't say to the other I don't need you... it is only out of ignorance not out of intelligence that we would do that to one another... it is only out of fear not out of love... it is only out of pride not of humility ... that one part would say to another I don't need you.... single parts come together to form larger ones... and those larger ones come together to form systems and systems come together and form one body.......... while the space between the head and the foot might be vast and the operations of each completely different one would get nowhere without the other........
Within this moment I thought upon the movie, The Lord of the Rings..... A fellowship is formed from many different "peoples," each having its strengths... its preferences.. its weaknesses... Each having its way of doing things .. its own culture... its own story.... I thought about how in different scenes we are given glimpses into the natures of one culture or one story and then how we are granted story lines that have them interacting with each other..... some think that another is strange or potentially dangerous to the peace they have created as when Gandolf enters into the Shire.... some understand things that others have never even ever heard about ... some have a long memory and lifetime while others only know of their current generation ............ and some have been altered by circumstances and objects and situations and burdens and relationships that are not known or experienced by others.....
Within minutes scene after scene played upon my mind and my heart and I thought about how one individual from each group was brought together to form an unlikely fellowship...... I thought about the quote, " What business does an elf, man, and a dwarf have in the Ridder-Mark? Speak quickly. " And I thought about a statement that would sound like this what business does an ear, a heart, a foot have in such in such a place? Or maybe it goes like this.... What business does a Baptist, a Charismatic, a Pentecostal, and a Methodist have in this place?
Yes... there are ears, eyes, feet, hands, hearts, kidneys, etc.... What business do we have together? Well it is our Father's business and we are the Body... one Body.... with operations and systems and strengths and weaknesses and it is necessary that we learn one from the other.... We are made strong when we are together.... we are made strong when we realize that many parts make up a whole and we need to walk wholly together... we need every part operating as it was made to do so.... There is a maturity ... a calling out to grow up into the fullness of that which we are called to become and as we do so we will let go of unnecessary and immature allegiances and grasp a hold of the truth that when we are united and when unity and love is that which characterizes us more than preferences we will shine forth a love so strong and palpable that its light will break forth like the dawn upon the darkest of nights and people will know the Church for who She truly is.... The Body and The Bride of a Lover... of a Savior... Of a King.... We are marked to be a people of love... and though there are many parts ... There is only one of us.... One Body.....
May we walk forth as such............
There was a place and a time where relationships were forged upon both good and bad terrains of life...... There was a place and a time where I could see how similar parts of the body come together and because they are fashioned into a bigger part operate jointly in a way that is mutually beneficial ..... Such as fingers are part of a hand and when fingers that joined to the hand operate more gets done with that hand because there are fingers attached to it.... there is a wrist and an arm and an elbow.... and when similar parts are together how that part operates makes more sense than when or if those parts were separate from one another...............
The hand is not the foot... fingers operate differently than toes.... I do not walk on my hands but I do not write with my toes..... my toes belong on my foot while my fingers belong to my hand....
Recently I sat in a conversation where within my experience of it I thought upon this subject .... If possible it was as if the body dissected and there was one part of it all.. one foot.. one hand.. one arm.. one eye... one ear.... journey with me for a moment as I try and express myself..... each part of the body was trying to express that which was their job.... and the other parts having never operated that job were trying to grasp that which that part believed and did.... to some parts ... well they could not fathom what it meant to be walked upon..... and other parts could not comprehend what it was like to physically take a hold of something .. such as when a hand grasps a pencil... Still other parts didn't know what it was like to be seen because they were hidden away within the body.... and those parts that were seen every day did not know of that hidden nature ...................
Within that experience I found myself longing to depart... growing weary of trying to express myself well and explain or even defend that which I knew to be true and operative aspects of my faith.... I wanted to segregate back to my portion of the body... let's say I was a finger.. I wanted to rejoin my hand and not try and understand that which the foot did... understanding that it did exist and knowing that in some way and form I needed it but that it was so other than me and so separate and so far apart that well... while we needed one another ... we could keep our distance... and that would be that..............
I was discouraged and saddened ... disheartened at first by the nature of the conversation and the confessions of it which had me feeling so utterly alone and so longing for a regrouping back to that which I knew and was comfortable in.... Within the body (not that I am medically aware at all and my understanding is elementary) there are systems... respiratory system, digestive system, circulatory system... etc.. etc... systems that work together to perform different tasks ... well.. I was missing my system ... I was missing the way things operate in my world... I just wanted the other parts to understand and believe that which I did and how necessary it was to the body operating as a whole unit....
I, in turn, wanted to appreciate and understand that which they did as well as value it but I was longing to be strengthened by commonality instead of being challenged.... If a part thinks that another part is dispensable and not necessary for the operation of the body as a whole ... than what does it mean to be that part within that community or conversation.....
Within those thoughts I found myself.... Remembering what it was like to belong to an operating system and to work within like parts........ Except....
We are one body and one part can't say to the other I don't need you... it is only out of ignorance not out of intelligence that we would do that to one another... it is only out of fear not out of love... it is only out of pride not of humility ... that one part would say to another I don't need you.... single parts come together to form larger ones... and those larger ones come together to form systems and systems come together and form one body.......... while the space between the head and the foot might be vast and the operations of each completely different one would get nowhere without the other........
Within this moment I thought upon the movie, The Lord of the Rings..... A fellowship is formed from many different "peoples," each having its strengths... its preferences.. its weaknesses... Each having its way of doing things .. its own culture... its own story.... I thought about how in different scenes we are given glimpses into the natures of one culture or one story and then how we are granted story lines that have them interacting with each other..... some think that another is strange or potentially dangerous to the peace they have created as when Gandolf enters into the Shire.... some understand things that others have never even ever heard about ... some have a long memory and lifetime while others only know of their current generation ............ and some have been altered by circumstances and objects and situations and burdens and relationships that are not known or experienced by others.....
Within minutes scene after scene played upon my mind and my heart and I thought about how one individual from each group was brought together to form an unlikely fellowship...... I thought about the quote, " What business does an elf, man, and a dwarf have in the Ridder-Mark? Speak quickly. " And I thought about a statement that would sound like this what business does an ear, a heart, a foot have in such in such a place? Or maybe it goes like this.... What business does a Baptist, a Charismatic, a Pentecostal, and a Methodist have in this place?
Yes... there are ears, eyes, feet, hands, hearts, kidneys, etc.... What business do we have together? Well it is our Father's business and we are the Body... one Body.... with operations and systems and strengths and weaknesses and it is necessary that we learn one from the other.... We are made strong when we are together.... we are made strong when we realize that many parts make up a whole and we need to walk wholly together... we need every part operating as it was made to do so.... There is a maturity ... a calling out to grow up into the fullness of that which we are called to become and as we do so we will let go of unnecessary and immature allegiances and grasp a hold of the truth that when we are united and when unity and love is that which characterizes us more than preferences we will shine forth a love so strong and palpable that its light will break forth like the dawn upon the darkest of nights and people will know the Church for who She truly is.... The Body and The Bride of a Lover... of a Savior... Of a King.... We are marked to be a people of love... and though there are many parts ... There is only one of us.... One Body.....
May we walk forth as such............
Glimpses of that place undo me .... We are His craftmanship
So much runs through my heart tonight..... thoughts of a Kingdom ... of richness and wealth unbeknown to mankind upon this Earth..... aspects of greatness that no eye has seen or ear has heard... trumpet sounds so glorious and crystal clear whose notes ring out into the air and form a continuous echo ... and a purity and holiness of royal blood unmatched by anything ever historically known ..... sights and sounds of a Kingdom's terrains..... seas so crisp and clear and remarkable... streets that shine so brightly even in what would be called night ....
when no eye has seen it and no hear has heard nor could the heart of man fully comprehend it.... when it is so other than anything known or experienced..... when the perfect order and glorious nature of all that it entails.... when the air that sparkles is breathed in and the fragrance of the atmosphere so rich with life envelopes.... one has stepped foot into a realm so full of beauty... so perfectly full of abundance.... so majestically structured that ever single particle aligns itself to perfection ... so flawlessly and entirely fitted for us .... then one has had a miniscule glimpse of that which we most certainly for all eternity belong to.......
All that would even attempt to come close upon this earth... the most impressive wealth, the most glamorous home, the most far won power or authority pales in comparison.....
There is a peace so strikingly intense whose existence penetrates and pierces all...... there is a love so undefeatable ... so untainted.... so fierce and so physically powerful..... that there is nothing that exists that could separate it from the subject of its affections....... there is a citizenship whose members know their God... know their King.... know whom it is that they serve and whose they are..... A citizenship whose eyes gleam with a knowledge of their station and right within Kingdom perimeters..... A people whose hearts have been brought forth into an abundance of life ... whose affections and passions have been utterly and wholly won and whose allegiances know no distraction .........
This Kingdom... This people.... This is that which we are called towards... it is that which we are...... it is not a figment of an overactive imagination.... it is not something that the mind of man could conjure up or even begin to fathom without the grace to think upon it and glimpse into it... This is that which we are ambassadors of.... that place... that Kingdom... that people.... that peace... that love... that wholeness... This is that which brands us as other than... that screams forth an attention .... that states to all that exists within the physical and spiritual realms that there is a new creation.... that the sons and daughters of the Kingdom of God are arising... and they will know where they come from.. and they will know where it is that they are going... and they will know their God and be known by Him
The Earth, herself, groans with the anticipation of the coming forth of these ones.... all of creation ... all of that which would be rejoices and celebrates the majesty of a King whose love.. affection.. determination... passion.... resolve has brought about a day and a time that will bring about a celebration so grand and so marvelous unmatched throughout all time and eternity as to befit a Bride Groom and His Bride..... ... it is coming... there is a feast... a spectacle of the ages.... the very heartbeat of a Father whose longing for a Bride for His Son... there it is .... a wedding... a fulfillment ... a celebration... a time where the Lion and the Lamb lie down together and all is right........
It is our story... it is our song.... it is that which calls forth to us and pulls us into itself..... it is the thing that grips onto our hearts and causes us to hunger for the more..... it is the truest essence of all that we are............ there is no day richer than the day when I catch glimpses of that place... of the One whose rule and reign exists perfectly there.... there is not a day that I don't hunger for more than just that glimpse.... there is not a moment when I would rather be breathing in her air than that which fills the atmosphere around me....
That place has won my heart and I so desperately hunger for it to create within me an undivided nature... eyes so set upon the goal that nothing could distract...
His love is like that you know... It is so disturbing at times... His love.... melts mountains like wax... melts my heart ... consumes all that it touches and yet leaves me intact... for I am the object of its affections ..... it is a love so full of fervor and jealousy that it doesn't ever stop... so immeasurable and so complete in its makeup and constitution that at the core and foundation of its very essence is perfection.... casting out all that would be other .. all that would attempt to rise up against it.... Its stands so awesomely beautiful ... so stunning... so gorgeous in its nature that it brings forth awe from all that behold it.....
Our God.. our King... our Lord... our Friend... our Savior... Our Redeemer... our Father... our Brother... The Prince of Peace... Almighty God... Counselor... This is our Kingdom.... This is our Home.. This is that place that we belong.. and the attributes of it....
May our eyes behold Her Glory.... and our hearts ... well may they take courage to know that in all that She is ... she is our eternal home.... Her places are where our feet will walk... the rule and reign of this place will go on and on and on... and may the beauty of all that she is capture our attentions and our affections and carry us onward to be all that He knows we are.......... We are His craftsmanship...fashioned in His image... carrying it..... may His resemblance be so found upon us that we shine forth light and life and liberty for all.....
when no eye has seen it and no hear has heard nor could the heart of man fully comprehend it.... when it is so other than anything known or experienced..... when the perfect order and glorious nature of all that it entails.... when the air that sparkles is breathed in and the fragrance of the atmosphere so rich with life envelopes.... one has stepped foot into a realm so full of beauty... so perfectly full of abundance.... so majestically structured that ever single particle aligns itself to perfection ... so flawlessly and entirely fitted for us .... then one has had a miniscule glimpse of that which we most certainly for all eternity belong to.......
All that would even attempt to come close upon this earth... the most impressive wealth, the most glamorous home, the most far won power or authority pales in comparison.....
There is a peace so strikingly intense whose existence penetrates and pierces all...... there is a love so undefeatable ... so untainted.... so fierce and so physically powerful..... that there is nothing that exists that could separate it from the subject of its affections....... there is a citizenship whose members know their God... know their King.... know whom it is that they serve and whose they are..... A citizenship whose eyes gleam with a knowledge of their station and right within Kingdom perimeters..... A people whose hearts have been brought forth into an abundance of life ... whose affections and passions have been utterly and wholly won and whose allegiances know no distraction .........
This Kingdom... This people.... This is that which we are called towards... it is that which we are...... it is not a figment of an overactive imagination.... it is not something that the mind of man could conjure up or even begin to fathom without the grace to think upon it and glimpse into it... This is that which we are ambassadors of.... that place... that Kingdom... that people.... that peace... that love... that wholeness... This is that which brands us as other than... that screams forth an attention .... that states to all that exists within the physical and spiritual realms that there is a new creation.... that the sons and daughters of the Kingdom of God are arising... and they will know where they come from.. and they will know where it is that they are going... and they will know their God and be known by Him
The Earth, herself, groans with the anticipation of the coming forth of these ones.... all of creation ... all of that which would be rejoices and celebrates the majesty of a King whose love.. affection.. determination... passion.... resolve has brought about a day and a time that will bring about a celebration so grand and so marvelous unmatched throughout all time and eternity as to befit a Bride Groom and His Bride..... ... it is coming... there is a feast... a spectacle of the ages.... the very heartbeat of a Father whose longing for a Bride for His Son... there it is .... a wedding... a fulfillment ... a celebration... a time where the Lion and the Lamb lie down together and all is right........
It is our story... it is our song.... it is that which calls forth to us and pulls us into itself..... it is the thing that grips onto our hearts and causes us to hunger for the more..... it is the truest essence of all that we are............ there is no day richer than the day when I catch glimpses of that place... of the One whose rule and reign exists perfectly there.... there is not a day that I don't hunger for more than just that glimpse.... there is not a moment when I would rather be breathing in her air than that which fills the atmosphere around me....
That place has won my heart and I so desperately hunger for it to create within me an undivided nature... eyes so set upon the goal that nothing could distract...
His love is like that you know... It is so disturbing at times... His love.... melts mountains like wax... melts my heart ... consumes all that it touches and yet leaves me intact... for I am the object of its affections ..... it is a love so full of fervor and jealousy that it doesn't ever stop... so immeasurable and so complete in its makeup and constitution that at the core and foundation of its very essence is perfection.... casting out all that would be other .. all that would attempt to rise up against it.... Its stands so awesomely beautiful ... so stunning... so gorgeous in its nature that it brings forth awe from all that behold it.....
Our God.. our King... our Lord... our Friend... our Savior... Our Redeemer... our Father... our Brother... The Prince of Peace... Almighty God... Counselor... This is our Kingdom.... This is our Home.. This is that place that we belong.. and the attributes of it....
May our eyes behold Her Glory.... and our hearts ... well may they take courage to know that in all that She is ... she is our eternal home.... Her places are where our feet will walk... the rule and reign of this place will go on and on and on... and may the beauty of all that she is capture our attentions and our affections and carry us onward to be all that He knows we are.......... We are His craftsmanship...fashioned in His image... carrying it..... may His resemblance be so found upon us that we shine forth light and life and liberty for all.....
Thursday, February 10, 2011
They MUST Surpass us
I went to lay down for a few seconds... babies fell asleep and kids aren't home from school yet so I thought ... ah my God... some time... some quiet time for us... and I laid down on the sofa... and He brought forth thoughts of what is going on with our oldest son....
Proud mom moment.... Our oldest is only a sophomore and yet is already being looked at by some pretty incredible colleges.... in just the last list the names of those that are looking academically are some of the top in the country....
In that moment of being peacefully with the Lord I knew where He was leading and this is just it.... I am not saddened by sons successes... they don't cause me to think less of myself... they don't have me wondering what lacked in me that I couldn't have had those opportunities.... I don't think myself less than when I can't help another one of my children with their math work and yet my oldest son can.... I am just thankful that we are a family and that each member has their part to play and that I can lean on the strengths of another in the areas that I am weak in.....
I am so excited for all my children and the different doors that open to each of them.... I watch them as they enter into the world and see the human beings they are becoming and to think I had some role in that ... in their becoming just brings me joy... they are becoming more and taking their first flights of success and I couldn't be happier for them all.......
My children spur me on to be a better human being.... I want to be better at loving because of them... I want to be more submitted to God as to show them as genuine of a walk with the Lord as I can possibly show them.... I want to be all that I can be for them so that they can grow, and climb, and jump and soar... and the list could go on and on......
In two years I will taste for the first time what it feels like to watch as one takes a huge leap towards their future.... and for those of you who know me you know my journey upon this road even started three years ago... I guess God realized that He had to take a long time to prepare my heart for that which is coming... but it has been an incredible process and I have learned so much from it already and am sure that I will learn even more as the time draws near and as I walk into that time......
I have spent years pouring my life into my children... years of nights lacking sleep... years of going without so that they could have... years of .......... fill in the blank..... but why? Did I do it? We had children..... so that they could grow and become.... we pour our lives into them so that they can have the best possible foundation that we could give them..... They are a part of my husband and a part of me and they bear our images and they have within them the image of God as well... it is such an awe inspiring thing......
I am watching as my children grow taller than me... smarter than me... but I am watching..... and I know my role in their lives will change but I will always be their mom.... and I know that my job is to equip them and guide them and lead them and hope that they will become all that they can become...... and in so doing I get to watch something I had a part in flourish....
As it is in the natural so it is in the spirit and there are fathers and mothers out there that walk the Kingdom roads doing this amazingly well.... and then there are others who aren't able to rejoice in the knowledge that they had some huge part to play in the development of sons and daughters and now those sons and daughters are flourishing because of all that was given......
Out of love and affection and pride I have watched as my oldest son has smiled at his father and I have seen that which gleams in his eyes as he looks at his dad and I.... I know I am loved.. I know that I am valued .. I know that he cherishes us as his parents... I know he has seen us at our worst and he has seen us at our best and he has learned from both....
The main thing is I wish for all my children is this.... that they will pull from me all that they need that I have and that they would learn from my weaknesses and my strengths ... my successes and my failures.... and that they would become ALL that they were meant to be... and as they pass me physically in height... that they would pass me in all areas of life.... that they would pursue God more... that they would know Him better... that they would live great lives full of freedom and joy and love and strength... and that they would know that no matter what good or bad ... that they have parents rooting for them and cheering them on....
As we do that in the natural... may we do that in the spirit.... to the advancement of our Kingdom..... and to the Body and looking ahead towards the day when the Bride stands in full stature and we all stand side by side facing the one who loves us all so very well......
Proud mom moment.... Our oldest is only a sophomore and yet is already being looked at by some pretty incredible colleges.... in just the last list the names of those that are looking academically are some of the top in the country....
In that moment of being peacefully with the Lord I knew where He was leading and this is just it.... I am not saddened by sons successes... they don't cause me to think less of myself... they don't have me wondering what lacked in me that I couldn't have had those opportunities.... I don't think myself less than when I can't help another one of my children with their math work and yet my oldest son can.... I am just thankful that we are a family and that each member has their part to play and that I can lean on the strengths of another in the areas that I am weak in.....
I am so excited for all my children and the different doors that open to each of them.... I watch them as they enter into the world and see the human beings they are becoming and to think I had some role in that ... in their becoming just brings me joy... they are becoming more and taking their first flights of success and I couldn't be happier for them all.......
My children spur me on to be a better human being.... I want to be better at loving because of them... I want to be more submitted to God as to show them as genuine of a walk with the Lord as I can possibly show them.... I want to be all that I can be for them so that they can grow, and climb, and jump and soar... and the list could go on and on......
In two years I will taste for the first time what it feels like to watch as one takes a huge leap towards their future.... and for those of you who know me you know my journey upon this road even started three years ago... I guess God realized that He had to take a long time to prepare my heart for that which is coming... but it has been an incredible process and I have learned so much from it already and am sure that I will learn even more as the time draws near and as I walk into that time......
I have spent years pouring my life into my children... years of nights lacking sleep... years of going without so that they could have... years of .......... fill in the blank..... but why? Did I do it? We had children..... so that they could grow and become.... we pour our lives into them so that they can have the best possible foundation that we could give them..... They are a part of my husband and a part of me and they bear our images and they have within them the image of God as well... it is such an awe inspiring thing......
I am watching as my children grow taller than me... smarter than me... but I am watching..... and I know my role in their lives will change but I will always be their mom.... and I know that my job is to equip them and guide them and lead them and hope that they will become all that they can become...... and in so doing I get to watch something I had a part in flourish....
As it is in the natural so it is in the spirit and there are fathers and mothers out there that walk the Kingdom roads doing this amazingly well.... and then there are others who aren't able to rejoice in the knowledge that they had some huge part to play in the development of sons and daughters and now those sons and daughters are flourishing because of all that was given......
Out of love and affection and pride I have watched as my oldest son has smiled at his father and I have seen that which gleams in his eyes as he looks at his dad and I.... I know I am loved.. I know that I am valued .. I know that he cherishes us as his parents... I know he has seen us at our worst and he has seen us at our best and he has learned from both....
The main thing is I wish for all my children is this.... that they will pull from me all that they need that I have and that they would learn from my weaknesses and my strengths ... my successes and my failures.... and that they would become ALL that they were meant to be... and as they pass me physically in height... that they would pass me in all areas of life.... that they would pursue God more... that they would know Him better... that they would live great lives full of freedom and joy and love and strength... and that they would know that no matter what good or bad ... that they have parents rooting for them and cheering them on....
As we do that in the natural... may we do that in the spirit.... to the advancement of our Kingdom..... and to the Body and looking ahead towards the day when the Bride stands in full stature and we all stand side by side facing the one who loves us all so very well......
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