Before going forward I want to take a step aside.. Not back. Just a step aside. I want to share something with you. A few weeks back some cool things were happening.
You know those moments when your work or something you do gets noticed and you get the pat on the head, the path opens up, there seems like there is the "all clear."
That for me was more of a heads up then anything. That for me was the litmus test of this wilderness season and I am more grateful for it than for anything. It was the oasis. There was to be more desert.
I am in this place of teaching this message that is upon my heart right now in regards to the wilderness and its lessons. I've entitled it: How to overcome the flesh in the pursuit of hearing from and seeing God. Of all the messages I have ever spoken I feel this one upon my life in new ways. (We will be recording it soon.)
There is a good deal of talk about the plans and purposes of the wilderness but more than anything it is about the lessons of leaning and hearing the tender wooings of God. Learning not to disdain the wilderness but stepping into understanding it.
I felt led to couple the verses of Hosea and Song of Solomon with Proverbs 3. The wilderness is the place of learning to lean, we emerge leaning on Him. We learn the lesson to not lean on our own understanding but in all our ways we are acknowledging Him and He is directing our paths. We learn to listen to what it is He is saying and not be angry when what we want Him to speak about is no where on the docket of things being spoken.
We are no longer leaning upon achievements, relationships, fill in the blank here... we are leaning solely upon Him. My friend defines the wilderness as a place of no props. I was given the invitation to see all the props I lean on besides the Lord. I was invited into a place where there would be minimal props and I would learn where I had built upon sand and how thoroughly different it is to build upon rock. I would watch much dissolve but in hind sight it was all necessary. For emerging leaning and leaning and leaning has me positioned in a place I have always wanted but not sure how to get to.
So that respite. IT felt too good. I'm just being honest. It perked me up too much. It was a red flag of identity. I stepped into that place of allowing a moment to satisfy my soul.
Here's the truth, while moments can bring joy and celebration there is a place that this wilderness has taught me to live that I will be forever grateful. It is not up to a moment to grant me satisfaction. It is not up to an accomplishment or relationship to undergird the wellness of my soul.
It is well with my soul. Period.
So the people of God perish when understanding is lacking but when understanding comes there is a place of life and flourishing that nothing can touch or take away from.
Step into this place with me.
I've talked to more people that I could ever count that have viewed the wilderness as a place of punishment, where they have felt forsaken, abandoned... Orphaned.
I remember the day this wilderness began.. I can remember where it was I was sitting. It had been a hard season already but there were places that I felt I was navigating well, I had the right perspective and energy to see me through. Or so I thought. The concept of "strength to strength." It was the last step I would take upon the landscape of the strength I knew. Sitting there would be the last moment I would recognize the terrain of where I was walking, I had come to the place.. to the precipice.
My trust of Him had me eager and willing to jump. Had I known the journey that it would be to emerge from the new lands I'm not so sure I would have ventured so eagerly. But that is why it is from strength to strength. What has been added to me in these last few years I would not trade for anything, but I am grateful to be standing here then sitting there so many years ago.
This last wilderness taught me to know God and be settled into Him in ways I have not walked ever before. I had asked Him at one point to not let me emerge until it was for Him and Him alone, that the only satisfaction I would ever find or ever be settled in would be Him. I did not know the amount of my life that needed to be pruned, nor did I understand just how many other things I actually leaned upon other than grace and God.
But I am so very grateful... as I look at these first few steps into a land of promise, (mind you nothing has changed in the natural. Circumstances and situations are still what they are.. but I am different. My gaze set differently. My heart positioned in ways it never has been before.) into the Land of Him. He is the land of the living. Within Him there is life and life abundant. Not because of a moment or a triumph, not because of an accomplishment or accolade, not because of anything this world has to offer, but because of Him.
Emerging leaning upon Him, not upon my own understanding but being able to acknowledge Him in more ways than ever before I have learned to let go of those things I used to white knuckle grab a hold of and live forward with open palms.
I have run from the wilderness because I did not understand it's purpose... it's blessing and so I perished. While there was death within the confines of this past wilderness terrain there was an invitation to life that taught me how truly narrow the way can be and how thoroughly jealous our God is for our affections. He wooed me towards Him and called me into the wilderness so that He could speak tenderly to me, so that He could show up the lack of all other props and He taught me the posture of the lean is the only way one will truly emerge into life.
Thank you Father... Thank you for guiding me through the valley of the shadow of death, thank you for guiding me through the garden of Gethsemane, thank you Father for the cross... Thank you Father for resurrection, for life, for the wilderness.. For this time, for these years... For empowering me to set my affections on things above and not lesser things. Thank you for choice. Thank you for teaching me to love rightly and to seek first Your Kingdom. Thank you, Father, for adding all things unto me. And for teaching me what "all things" truly are....
Next Post... Things I have run from and why I am stopping... Number 3: Mental illness, Depression and the Past. Pray for me as I write this next post. There is much that needs to be said.
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