Saturday, March 30, 2013

Between death and life... The waiting.... Can we be honest on how brutal that is?




It was a day... it was the day between death and resurrection.


You've tasted it.  I know you have.


Walking through that day, that can feel like those thousand years, might actually be more difficult than walking through the time of death.  The worst has already happened.  What will be isn't really known.
It isn't known what will happen, or if something will happen.. or if the death is the period at the end of the sentence.


I want you to linger here... Linger... Pause.. remember.....


Those days of transition are beyond what words can express, but you know that which I speak of..


  • You've watched the path you thought you were on come to an abrupt dead end, a sudden curve in the road, or a very steep incline.
  • Relationships have done the same.
  • What about those finances or career?
  • A physical death or illness has left you with more questions than have answers?
  • God seems no where to be found.  A dark glass ceiling has been fitted over the heavens and prayers are bouncing off.

We've had six children pass from life in the womb into our arms.  At each birth a well meaning nurse has asked me if I wanted to touch the head as it emerged, seriously.. you kidding me... At that point there is nothing in me that wants to linger in that moment.  It's beauty is lost on me as the pain is the most intense it will be through the whole birthing process.  


I don't want to be in transition.  I want the baby.  I want life.  


We knew over a year and a half ago that we were going to be moving to Virginia.  We have lived in two worlds ever since.  The here, the already and the yet to come.....  I know what is here, the already is happening... There isn't much to know about that which is to come.   


Sure there are ideas, but it isn't being walked out yet... Jesus had told the disciples about his death and resurrection, but no matter how many times you are told something, even by God, Himself,  until you begin to see it truly unfold the human heart has a hard time negotiating that terrain... even as it begins to be poured forth the remembrance of the doubt, the doubt, itself, the reality of still not knowing what is happening can all play their part upon your soul.  


These past few years have been full of moments that felt continually like the "crowning" moments of a baby's head.  Except the birth wasn't coming forth.... delay... delay... delay... linger.... pause...  delay....  


The terrain of this past wilderness was long and deep and wide without many an oasis to be found.  A brief respite here... a momentary respite there but back into the wilderness my feet would tread.


Now as I have begun to taste life and have seen the soil of the terrains begin to change, I have paused and turned to appreciate the wilderness....  I have learned to lean in ways that I never would have ever before... and I have heard the tender whisperings of my God in ways I had never heard before...   Circumstances and situations remain and are in need of being walked through but I have begun to see that the difference is deep within.  


The day in between death and resurrection, the season, is what it is..... and whether you go back to fishing sometimes, or you are taking care of the dead body, or you are congregating with others trying to figure it out...  know this... history says there is a resurrection!  


The pain of this day.. the confusion of it... the reality of the unknown.. is there.. you aren't making that up nor are you called to power through it....  allowing it to bear what it is upon you will forever change you... The one thing I would implore you to not do is try to avoid it... you can't really escape it.....  You can dull the pain by appeasing the flesh but only temporarily...   But if embraced... if the pain and uncertainty and suffering  will be embraced the promise does exist that it will birth a depth of trust and hope and compassion that will transform you, your life and the way you see all things....


An eternal kingdom was born onto the earth through birth, life, death and resurrection... eternal life is being birthed into you through life.. death... and resurrection... It is a magnificent truth.. a phenomenal mystery and a most beautiful reality....  


It is the day... for most of us a long season... it is the time between death and life... between burial and resurrection....  but it is only a matter of time!








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