Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Nothing can ever alter the fact that I am beloved.... arriving at the most powerful truth Heaven proclaims

I remember the days of sitting in the chapel at the Carrier Foundation.  The recent and not so recent past screaming in my ears.  Dazed and confused, yet feeling safe behind the locked doors of Elizabeth Hall.


I remember this one night, the evening before a very specific meeting was going to take place.  Extra medication was given to me so that I might be able to sleep and yet sleep was not coming.  One of the nurses took me into the gym and we began to walk and walk around the floor, walking out the pattern of the rectangular room over and over and over again.


There are some things you can't walk away from.  There are some things that while medicine can dull the senses and ease the weight, and taking walks can pass the time, there are some things that seemingly nothing can separate you from.


Whether it is hiding under the covers of a bed or hiding under the beauty of make-up, or the success of position, or the busyness of life or whatever it is... there are things that will come back up and seemingly haunt and grab a hold of and relentlessly scream their lies.


I sit upon my bed tonight with such a sense of feeling safe and content.  I think I sit here in such awe because it has been such a long journey to come to the place where there is a beautiful solid peace inside.  I DO NOT take this place for granted.  I sit, stand, exist in awe because the beauty of this existence is overwhelming and I am overcome with gratitude more often than I know what to do with.


I know my life.. while the Lord has removed my transgressions from me as far as the East is from the West, I know that which my past is full of, I live under no delusion.  I live under no delusion.  I do live under the truth however.. that I no longer live and the life I live in the flesh I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.. Galations 2:20.    He loved me!  He gave Himself for me!  So that I would not be given over to a spirit of fear but of power, love AND a SOUND MIND!


There are days that while the weight of them no longer reverberates through my body, the remembrances of them serve me well, they no longer accuse or antagonize.. they serve as the ramp through which praise bursts forth... MY REDEEMER LIVES!!!!


It is a place I pray entrance to for all people... a place where the past and the present and the future are held by grace and with the understanding that there is no cause for anxiety because His great care for us is palpable.    I have found a place that nothing but Christ could give me entrance to... not in anything I have done or in anything I will ever do...  setting my identity as beloved... as daughter... as chosen....  It washes over me with a power and authority of Heaven that is striking to me... earth shaking to me... so full of transformative hope and life....


He lifted my head... He commanded dry bones to arise.. He breathed life into me and He set me upon my feet....

No moment of abuse, isolation, torture, rejection, failure, lack, anger, bitterness, hatred, judgement, rebellion... NO moment of success or blessing can change, minimize, increase the passion God has for me.. NOTHING can alter the FACT that I am His daughter... NOTHING can alter the fact that I am beloved. ,


It is powerful to sit in the place of realizing that .. I do not have to perform or do anything for His love, acceptance, blessing.. My children will always be my children as long as they live... they will always look like my husband and I.. they will always bear our image.  They might step into things we wouldn't choose for them but we will always choose THEM.  They ARE ours!!! PERIOD!  My love for them isn't based on that which they do or don't do.. they are acceptable.. they are amazing to me.. they are my favorite human beings...  I get it more now than ever before...  we are His favorite.. just because we all are doesn't make it any less so for any one of us...

These human beings are the best I know.. they are my favorite.. I am passionate over their lives.. with one look of their eyes towards me my heart is ravished.. spending time with them is my favorite time ever spent... if I feel this way over them.. how much greater is the reality of God feeling this way over us...


Arriving at the most powerful truth Heaven proclaims forward... WE ARE BELOVED...












These are my children.. IN WHOM I AM SO VERY WELL PLEASED... NOT because of what they do or don't do... but because they are mine.. they bare my image.. they came forth from me... they are adored.. cherished.. THEY ARE BELOVED!





1 comment:

Sam said...

Mims,

I have a feeling that you already know the question I want to ask....

Suzanne