It is like slow motion... I can hear my breath.. I blink my eyes but ever so slowly... and the words.. the words in my head are clear... "If I want him to live until I come again, what's that to you? You—follow me"
Oh how many times could I wish that those words were followed.... don't look at your brother or sister... just follow me... How many times should I have just followed those words instead of wondering why God did so and so with another .... and as these words have played in my head for the last few days I know that these will probably play out in more than just one blog....
I watched friends think that they were less than because favor of man wasn't coming into their lives the way they desired it... I saw others watch and look and feed jealousy and envy instead of embracing the wonderful things that the Lord was doing in their lives....
We place certain things (I was going to say even but I'll say especially) especially in the communities of faith on high ground and consider them the trophy to obtain.... so and so the person to have favor with ... such and such to be the position to lay a hold of.... or gifting to grow in.....
I know that in my life it isn't that I am seeing miracles bursting out in every direction as some would suppose but my goodness as I have laid more and more of my desires down and even my need to understand down and have "followed Him" and not spent time looking or wondering about what He was doing in and through others I have encountered miracles daily.... a solidness and confidence that even in moments when life shakes and brings distraction I can return to that place of quietness and confidence and strength....
He has spoken oh man that which is good and that which He desires for us.... He has set our feet upon a rock and I'm not moving.... I know that loving kindness and mercy follow me all the days of my life and while it may not be as some suppose it is as HE knows it to be....
I've been picked up from a pile of dry bones but reduced to mush and I sit in the quiet and in such incredible quiet joy and strength do I know that no matter what waves or storms come He leads me...
I have seen the horror of others looking to that which God does in the lives of others...I have seen jealousy erupt like the most ugly monster you could ever imagine... I have seen people strive for power and influence at all costs .. leaving behind friendships... character... peace..... I think the last aspect of peace is the saddest... because you can convince yourself of many things... and believe many things that are not true... but you can't fake genuine and real peace... that is a gift tied to the fact that our hearts do not condemn us ... and no matter what you can trick yourself into believing the peace that passes all understanding becomes elusive.
He will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast upon Him....
I know I can skirt many an issue at times but this this place of perfect peace .. this place of peace in knowing that at the end of the day I have set my affections upon Him and Him alone and whether He acts publicly upon my life or He and I walk through our most favorite places I know this peace that passes all understanding and its origin is from the place of looking to Him and loving Him and following Him regardless of that which He does or doesn't do in my life or the lives of those that I would look at....
I have one life to live... one life... days and moments and years hopefully fill that life... but in this moment I want to walk saturated by His peace and in the days and times to come I want to be surrounded by His peace....
I have watched times of pouring out come and go and I have watched men and women rise and fall in and out of favor but I have never seen the Lord forsake me and I have never seen the Lord leave me and I have always no matter what I have walked through I have known His love and His care and His peace.... That is that which I follow... if I followed a man I could have angst and fear and if I allowed men to dictate that which I was or that which I could do I would know no confidence... but I follow my Maker... Creator of Heaven and earth and His peace is a gift that nothing of this world can touch and that is that which I long to follow all the days of my life....
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