Your mouth might be saying, "don't tell me what to do," but your heart is screaming.. "TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

I'm beginning to catch glimpses that if I can just survive this journey, I will actually be the person I always would dare to believe I was but that fear kept at bay.  The moments are brutal at times.  It is as if every self protective guard over my heart, every intelligent thought that says, "that would not be good to share," has been removed and it is now feeling like a game of truth AND dare with the Lord.

I have to admit something though.  As I begin to realize what it is that I would really say, think, believe even do...  I enter into this reality of life and living.  Not to be personally grandiose or equate my experience with David's,  but if I picture David walking, as a boy, onto a field, being stared at by all those who have been trained to be in the army.. those who know what to do, those who KNOW it is ridiculous to be doing what David is doing; as I picture them and think about what it is I want to do or want to say I realize that it probably IS ridiculous.  There is indeed a huge giant upon that field. And them, with all their training and all their armor, and all their everything aren't venturing onto that field.. what makes me think I should?  

Well....  Not the fields of my father but in the life I have lived throughout these seasons something has transpired in my heart...  In the wilderness.. in the place of no props.. in the place of leaning and in the place of being spoken tenderly to .. I have gotten to know my God.

From that place and that place alone I venture onto the field.. not because I am capable of anything BUT because He is... Not because He is even specifically saying to go slay that giant... but  the fact is I know that that giant needs to be slain.  First and foremost... most importantly in my OWN life....  The giants of fear and lies and doubt... But SECONDLY... I have seen these things cripple the sons and daughters of God and who is that giant.. who are those giants to get to be allowed to do that....

So first and foremost I venture there for me... Secondly I have seen too many taken out by fear, doubt and lies and that giant most definitely needs to be slain...

So two things:

First, as I wrote recently there was this place where someone was receiving a prophetic word and as the word was being spoken... It opened up other doors through which to see into... One of which was this guy was waiting for permission.  He had all these things upon his heart to do but wasn't risking because he was waiting for permission.. I could see as fear had stolen from him steps and confidence and I wanted so much for this dear friend.... 

No one was going to give David permission to go out onto the battlefield..Not really. Can you imagine the tone in which Saul said, "And may the Lord be with you."

“Don’t worry about this Philistine,” David told Saul. “I’ll go fight him!”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Saul replied. “There’s no way you can fight this Philistine and possibly win! You’re only a boy, and he’s been a man of war since his youth.”

But David persisted. “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. I have done this to both lions and bears, and I’ll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God! The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!”

Saul finally consented. “All right, go ahead,” he said. “And may the Lord be with you!” 1 Samuel 17 (NLT)

But David said this... 

David replied to the Philistine, “You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies—the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the Lord will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel! And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!”

Nobody could have given David that courage nor that permission.. that permission and that courage.. the capacity to walk onto the field WASN'T ever going to be because a man gave it to David.  Permission to do so...( Just remember the army, they had all that and even with the promise of reward none of them could muster the faith to step out onto the field) that permission. ... that courage.. that tenacity.. That was birthed only between God and David.  

But today I watch as so many want that level of permission to be granted to them from a man.. But that authority no matter what man, can NEVER be granted from a man...  Because BUT God those victories DON'T come.... 

I'm NOT instigated rebellion against authority here... I AM instigating rebellion against the idea.. the notion that you need permission to live your life with God.. there is an unholy thing concerning compliance and people are allowing the culture of Christian expectations or religious notions to keep them from stepping out.  People are crippled by fear.. I am and have been crippled by fear..." Oh I can't say that.". "Oh I can't do that..". "Oh what will people think... "

That kind of thinking would NEVER have allowed David to step onto that field and CONQUER those giants....

SECONDLY, remember way baack up in this blog post that won't end when I said, first?  Well, Secondly... the other day someone who I regard in high esteem said a similar statement regarding people just wanting to be told what to do...  As the words came out of his mouth all that was circulating within my heart continued to take form...

IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU TO DO SOMETHING.... WHOSE IN CHARGE? AND  IF IT GOES WRONG.. BUT YOU WERE TOLD TO DO IT.. GUESS WHAT?!?!?!  It isn't your fault because you were just doing what you were told.... The RISK isn't completely on you.... YOU ARE PLAYING IT SAFE.....

So in the middle of this one conversation regarding this journey of honesty that I am taking ..the comment back to me was interesting. Yes, friends, people do say these things... more think them .. GUESS WHAT?  The honest ones say them.... While it takes me back.. I'd rather have the honest ones who are at least willing to tell you that which they are thinking directly.

Mims what do you really have to lose?  Stir The Water is small. Your blog is small .. just do whatever you want... This is the time to Risk. It behooves you to risk...  Stir the Water is small and we have gone through so much change that even I think it is a miracle that we are still going.  Believe me there have been days.. nights.. weeks where everything and anything was put upon an altar and given back to God and if truth be really told there were places within me that would have been alright if He would just keep it all... Oh But God... .  

BUT... In other times and other days there were risks .. well, they didn't seem like risks at the time... it just to us was the right thing to do... To do anything less would not have been in line with who we are... and so we risked and we entered into a different journey and while some would have called that foolish.. I have seen Jesus over those decisions time and time again...  In the words of Jim Elliot, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”  

And in other words of Jim Elliot, “Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” 

So whether small or large.. whether those around you perceive you have nothing to lose or that you have too much to lose.. RISK anyway... CEASE waiting for someone to tell you what to do.. and LIVE.... Go  FORWARD and love those around you, jump into life and DO what's on your heart.. STEP onto that battlefield.. BE a David NOT a member of the army standing on the sidelines of faith...