A letter to the wife who called in to the 700 club.... And those like her!

Oh I understand press cycles and hot topics and the reality that behind all the sensation there are people.  Real people, just trying to live their lives and walk with God in an honest, forth right way.  Life hands us things that we would never ask for but what happens when we stand in those moments forms and fashions us...


I'm not addressing the question of faithfulness or infidelity here... I don't know this person.  I am just another voice in the crowd.  But her heart is worth the time speaking over.. and her life is worth speaking into.. NOT to ask is she being  provided for or does she have a roof over her head.. I guess if your husband isn't screaming at you or being unkind to your kids then, according to Pat Robertson of the 700 club, you should be dancing for joy.


But on the day that you found out that your husband found comfort and fulfillment in the arms of another woman, I can't imagine the heart ache you felt.  I can't imagine the devastation that rippled throughout your entire being.  Not just for you, but for all those like you, who fell in love with someone, who spoke words of fidelity, who promised to love and cherish ...  To come to the place where the realization becomes that another person held the hand of the man or woman you love, that another person heard words of sexual desire, or flattery, or affection from the mouth that once said, "I do."  Those places are brutal.  That journey, not one I have had, I can't imagine the pain and disorientation of those moments of first finding out.

I'm sorry your heart wasn't cherished when you sought out counsel from one you thought could give it.


Does the world ever stop spinning?  Do you ever find your feet again?  How do you forgive?  That was your question, wasn't it?  How do you forgive?


I have not been cheated on but I have had to give forgiveness into circumstances that were beyond my capacity to fathom.  I have done it step by step.  Moment by moment.  Trust has had to be rebuilt.  Space granted to grieve.  Space granted to be angry, to deal with the betrayal...  space to pause and grace to give to yourself.  There is no set route.. and some days you might feel completely on top of it and other days you might be consumed by the horror of imagined images of your spouse with another... There is grace for the days you feel strong and there is grace for the days you want to curl up into a ball and disappear.  There is grace for the day you can hold his hand again and there is grace for the day where even the thought of him ever touching you again sends shivers down your spine.  THERE IS GRACE.  THERE IS COMPASSION.  THERE IS MERCY.  THERE IS A GOD WHO LOVES AND CHERISHES YOU and YOUR HEART!


I'm sorry to all those who have asked that question and gotten a stupid, religious answer that didn't consider nor treasure your heart.  KNOW .. please know.. that in those moments that is NOT what the Lord.. what your Heavenly Father would speak over you or into you.  I'm sorry that when you sought out counsel that you were only further betrayed by the ignorance of man and the limitations of human stupidity.



I'm sorry your pain was belittled.  I'm sorry you weren't taken seriously.  I'm sorry that true wisdom wasn't granted and that your ears didn't hear a clear cut path of redemption. You sucking it up and being grateful for provision, a house, and a man who takes kids to sporting events isn't and wasn't and never will be the issue.  Your heart and the betrayal and how you are empowered to walk through this season is the issue.


I may never meet you but please know that you are in my prayers and it is my deepest desire that your heart comes in contact with someone who can effectively walk you through this horrible time in your life.


I'm sorry, sweet sweet beautiful woman.. I'm sorry that this ever happened not just the original event but Pat Robertson's response or the responses like his.