the hows of how to see and hear and know spelled out for all to know.....

Sitting quietly with Him... looking at Him looking at me... leaning so close into Him that there is no space.... I even press in further... I have to... it is my life.... He is my strength.. the air I breathe ... my all in all.... I need Him and I need Him with all that is within me... there is nothing that can substitute... nothing else and nobody else knows me or fills me like He does... there are no plan Bs... He is it... His presence... His being... not the idea of Him.. or the belief of Him... but Him... the person.... Him... In Him I have been found and attached to Him I must live ...

So today... He has begun to prepare me for the online discipleship class that Jim and I do on Tuesday nights... (stirthewater.com calendar... online events 9pm est)
We haven't done so much in the nuts and bolts of how to hear and how to see .. the hows aren't truly as important as all the other questions.... mostly all the rest... know Him... love Him... focus on Him... walk with Him and hold His hand... and let Him hold yours and walk with Him and let Him love you and love Him back... and what does all that look like... love people and love God and all else will flow.... that has been and will always be my focus... our focus

But today... I knew that the Father was changing it up on me a little... withdrawing away with Him... in silence... in quiet... in intimate relationship to places where just He and I walk and there are no others and it is He and I and that is all...

I made a choice not even a month ago to live even more as He would have me live and look to Him and as I see Him doing so I try and do... and it is becoming more and more second nature... moments and days spring up and erupt with other but then placing myself back in the right place facing Him... turned towards Him... looking to Him... I recover... it is as a child who realized that they are in the deep end and can't touch bottom.. that child might freak out a bit but in the moments of being freaked the strongest arms (which were always right there) come right around... it might be days.. it might just be moments but those arms are always there and I won't ever be allowed to drown... now I just need to learn it is ok for my feet not to touch... it is ok to lay there in the water... and float... float in the depths... I am so very safe there.... I just have to remind myself sometimes just how ok it is...

So how does it work in my heart... how does knowing translate into seeing and knowing... how does it work in my life... I'll tell you this though there is a history each time... seriously each time steals my breathe away.. and I wouldn't really want it any other way... it keeps me leaning upon Him and there is no other place to be.... I can't walk where I want to walk ie only doing that which the Father is doing if I don't walk that way.... but so each time I go to pray or say what I see or speak in words that I have heard Him speak ... each time I wonder and each time I risk....

There are times it still starts as the faintest impressions... a decision can and is made to go with it and not turn it away....
to take the risk .. to believe it is Him... the faintest of impressions... pictures. words... it starts mostly every time like that...
It is an invitation into the heart beat of the Father... and that is where the relationship is so foundational... I know He will not ask me out onto a ledge where He isn't... I know that He won't have me walk where He hasn't already been... I trust Him... I love Him and I trust His love for me.... I am aware of His love and affections for me that run so deep that I have no idea the depth ... so long that the length could never be measured... height and width have no comparison.... so why do I step out... because each time regardless of the ministry there I walk with the Father... and I get to hold His hand and have Him hold mine.. and we walk and talk and the over flow of that is what comes out....

I really don't hear anything that anyone else couldn't hear or see... but in listening and seeing I walk with Him and there is no place other I want to walk... no other place I want to be... so I hear.. and I know.. and I see.. because what good Father wouldn't want that for His daughter... I belong to Him... I belong to Him .. I am His... and it is His greatest desire that I would be where He is and that I would walk with Him confident as a daughter... full of joy and full of life and full of confidence...

Much comes to shake that but He is the unshakable tower...and even when I can't place myself with those folds of His garment or under His shadow He moves and acts until I am there..... I belong to Him so of course I am going to see and to hear and to know... because I am His... He has called me His own... and our hearts are ravished... forged together by the blood of His son... the deepest affections flow and the most assured strength exists with Him... of course we are going to see and hear and know... because that is who He is... and who He has made us to be....