waking up from a dream and all of a sudden find myself dazed and groggy walking through tall grasses that come up to my waist... rubbing my eyes and getting my equilibrium I stumble through trying to gain my balance...
When in a clearing a lion larger than life and a lamb are laying down and beckoning me to do so... it is a clearing and against the hardened chest of the lion do I lean... His breathe in and out and my body as it reclines rises and falls with each one....
I linger in this place.. closing my eyes... taking in the air and just feeling Him and being so close to Him aspects of me come alive.. my feet upon the wool of the lamb's side as I just soak in the strength and peace and rest of that place... all is complete.. all is right... and I soak in that rightness of it all...
The sky this perfect and most beautiful shade of blue bordering on purple hues and the light not coming from a sun but just reverberating from all that there is.... light just exudes from all places and in this place that light flows in and around everything .....
I lay there for what seems like minutes but is hours upon hours and hours upon hours and I just glean strength.... I must have at some time fallen asleep and when I awoke again He was there watching me and this time as my eyes opened upon Him I gently closed them again as a very deep sigh broke through my mouth and contentment to be in His presence filled me...
Keeping my eyes closed but knowing He was there I just again took deep breaths of that place and soaked within His presence... allowing it to penetrate my heart and my being in the deepest of ways...
"I am that good.." He spoke as my eyes opened and took Him in... and He said it again .. that He was that good... and His gaze penetrated all that I am ... and again He said it... "I am that good..." and in those moments answering questions that my heart had been too afraid to ask... again came the answer to the question that I was afraid to voice... and He looked at me deep and long and steady and with all the assurance of all that He is He spoke it again... "I am that good...above and beyond what you could think or imagine... I am that good..."
And yet my heart even with all that was afraid and unsure... and He knelt down to me and being so very close He knelt down and right into my eyes He looked and with a whisper that had with it the power of a shout... He spoke it again... looking so very deeply into all that I am.. He said it again and again... "I am that good..."
Uncovering places in my heart that were still so afraid that that wouldn't be so.. that I would hope and then only have it dashed upon rocks... and He was relentless... relentless with kindness without an ounce of exasperation..
"I am that good..." and He began to weep and weep and His giant tears fell upon my flesh and He held me to Himself and prayed... He prayed to our Father and rest entered my soul so very deeply... a penetrating rest that is full of trust and assurance... and goodness.... and I looked up into His face and knew... I knew His love .. I knew His love would carry me all the days of my life and that I would dwell in His house for evermore ....
It was as the most brilliant of lights was turned on and there was nothing hidden and my frame was washed in the light of that place and I rested and was strengthened in the goodness of the Lord....
His rest and His assurance held me up and I allowed myself to realize that it so did not depend upon me... upon my abilities or lack there of... that He was determined and that He was on the pursuit and that it mattered to Him.. it truly and really mattered to Him that I would with all that I am encounter His goodness....
I don't know if I was then somewhere different or if we were standing in the same place... but a cloud rolled in and covered me and within it the thunder that was present it was like He was rolling out something that I was yet aware of and yet in the rumblings there were things taking place that I would be about to see and take part in...
As the clouds rolled in the fog upon my mind lifted and rolled away and I could see.. and while I knew not exactly that which I saw... I saw His goodness and I knew that I knew that I knew we would be like those whose mouths were filled with laughter.. like those who dreamed and that we were being brought back ... we had sowed in tears and now .. now it was time to return.... return with a shout of joy....
Blessed be the Name of the Lord
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