Day 7.....
Love is tested when working with a grumpy pre teen
Love is tested when working with 7 other people and trying to decorate a Christmas tree
Love is tested when there is much to be done...
Love is tested when everyone wants to do something their way and feelings get hurt and navigating those paths seem near to next impossible....
I wanted today to be special ... I was up at 6:30 with Gregory saying "get up, mommy." Ok Ok God day number 7 (what I didn't say was I am in this weird sleep habit... pass out early then wake up and then can't fall back to sleep for a few hours in the middle of the night)..... but day 7.. much to do... but I want to make this day special from the beginning..... much to do ... much to get done... want to be purposefully full of life and joy.. and infect my house with it
Walmart run number one on the list (was tempted at 2:30am to go but finished watching the movie I was watching when I fell asleep) Thought about the morning.. Jim looked tired.. he was watching Polar Express with Gregory... decided to take Elizabeth with me (although Jim would have let me leave her home...) learning that it is some of those very small decisions that create the best moments..... and I did have a blast with her....... and Jim was able to snuggle in with Gregory and enjoy his moments.....
Home at 9 ... unpack the car..... passing out orders on what goes where... between two refrigerators/freezers and a deep freeze.. two pantries.. there is many a place... dealing with a very grumpy pre- teen.... who has been very grumpy for days... DAYS..... pause... deep breathe... pull aside... speak to him telling him he can't say thus and so to his sister and brother..... more sibling interacts that aren't very Christmassy.... deeeeep breathe.... let out..... deeeep breathe ... let out... I am laboring for their very souls..... at least it feels that way.. patience.. must demonstrate patience... MUST ......
Finish unpacking car... teenager awake.. needs to go to the mall.. mall opens at ten... headed to the mall before it gets crazy ....... shop for things he needs ... things I need.... have lunch together... talk..... share...
He bought some of his music at Barnes and Nobles..... ok.. have more errands to run... his music blaring.... loud... oh so loud... was that the f--- word????????? Aren't we Christians????? Want to censor everything.... praying quickly praying under my breathe... pause to listen to lyrics..... political commentary... loud... but really not bad.... decide to use it as a teachable moment... but wait who is being taught... me? or him? hhhhhmmmmmmmm... Wonderful moment and though I would never listen to some of that music... I watch him and I listen and I see him... really see him.. and I wonder if that is why the every day people of Jesus' day loved him...... because He was connected with them ... where they were... calling them to more but meeting them where they are..... (please know I hate all curse language..... but am walking a line with my son I haven't traveled and am feeling my way)
B Js and Trader Joes...... more music... loud... very loud... but learning .......
home again...
enter house to find kitchen not necessarily the way I would have liked...... more things to bring in.... chores .... grumpy pre teen being very grumpy.... deep breathe.... deep breathe......
Want the rest of the day to be special.... Take a deep breathe again.. and start watching my words and asking my family for what I want... Husband wonderful.... very wonderful..... pulls in boxes from garage to decorate tree...... Want to hang our Christmas Nail on the tree... a special ornament we hang every year for the last 7 years...... and have a reading of The Tale of Three Trees...... (can't get through that book without tears) ... Been doing a lot of deep breaths.... need Jim... he steps in and takes over... learning that when one is weak the other is strong and I can acknowledge when I am weak... God always gives an out... always... we just have to be willing to take it......
The nail is on the tree... the book is read... all the kids are around decorating the tree and although that grumpy kid is back and forth from his room to being with the family... we are handling it .. peacefully ... firmly.. kindly every time... EVERY time... I emphasize every... not because I am so proud of us for doing so well but because there were many times for this to be practiced...... oh more of those deep breathes...
Then decorating the front of the house... finally but it is very important to a very special 9 year old.. who by the way loved being on her daddy's shoulders as she placed the star today... wonderful moment.....
Love is tested living a life in a family... moment after moment.. I can be patient.. I can fill my children's lives with moments of love and magic and joy... or I can be grumpy, impatient... and irritable.... how I am affects the lives of my kids and my husband..... the choices are oh so very important.... trying really hard to fill their lives with quality moments of family life is my deepest desire... but it is a moment by moment choice... lived out in the trenches of daily family living....
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