A Christmas Lesson Learned from an $8 Double Barrel Nerf Shot Gun

I went to the chiropractor and then to Target..... Yes, back to Target. I wanted to get myself one of those Nerf guns....(Jim had already bought his in the afternoon) and while I was there I picked up some more of the darts for all the kids. (Jim included). When I got home the scene I came into was one where area carpets were all in a state of disarray. I figured there had been a massive Nerf gun war. I was right. As the story played out... a thought came into my head what would I have done if I had been here...... and then the utter shock of my kids that I had bought one of the Nerf guns for myself...... uhmmmmmm

Day 10 ending... and I am looking at myself in a different light........ having opened myself up to any and every possibility that the Lord would bring me through these 100 days I am being hit will some scenarios that are bringing up many questions. I wanted change with this experiment.... I wanted to see who would I be if I loved the Lord with everything in me ... with everything I was capable of and then loved others and treated them as I would want to be treated........ What would 100 days bring?

I don't even really know how to write this ... for I am not even sure of what this is.... but I know that this morning I was concerned with how relevant I am in the lives of my children as they are getting older.... I watched as my daughter grabbed up her Nerf gun and ran through the yard and house and kept up with her brothers...... The excitement on that girl's face that she hit her oldest brother was priceless.....

Well... let me back track... I don't question that I am relevant in their lives in certain areas... I know how to encourage them... how to pass on wisdom to them (well at least the wisdom that I have)... I have learnt and am learning how to bring discipline into their lives so that it brings forth life... I am willing to talk about anything and everything with them (there aren't topics I shy away from just because they might be uncomfortable or hard). So what is this? Well, I don't know fully... but I wonder if I really know how to play with them....... I can bake, cook, read, talk, laugh, etc with them..... but do I loosen up enough and just play with them........

Is that it?

Uhm?

Clarity usually comes for me as I write.... I think that there is a need for me to loosen up a bit still... ok, maybe more than just a bit...... but I think it is more of that control thing....... There was so much life in Rebekah's eyes as she came running into the kitchen telling her stories of "the war," and how she had hit Josh....... brandishing her double barrel Nerf shotgun......

As I write this I realize (I promised to be 100% honest with myself as best as we are able to be honest with ourselves during this experiment) so here it is... the other night when she put on this new dress up dress that I had bought her she looked stunning......I want her to sit and have tea parties and play with dolls, make -up, etc..... my thoughts jump to a time when we went up to visit some friends... all the girls were playing with dolls and were loving it and Rebekah was playing with the one boy in the group...... OK so the girl has grown up around boys.... she has a strong tom boy streak in her..... yet, she has that other side too... but if asked she would say she is more of a tom boy.

What is all this rambling on leading to...... well, I think I am beginning to grasp more of that...... Love is letting a person be who they are and not making them into who you would have them be..... or I in this case.....

Love is stepping into their world! (pause.... pause.. realization hitting me in a way that lights up my heart)

Love is stepping into their world!

Oh Lord... you completely amaze me... you lead me on this rabbit trail to here! To here! On Christmas eve day morning at 5am this is where you bring me with my heart aching and all my questions...... you bring me here.... LOVE IS STEPPING INTO THEIR WORLD!!!!!!!

So I will attempt with all my heart to lay down all the notions of what Rebekah needs to be and I will step into her world...... You stepped into ours.... Wow!!! Tomorrow we celebrate that! You have showed me the way... you never leave us anywhere..... You go before us and prepare the way.. making rough roads smooth... So I might not have a road map on how to exactly walk this road but I know that you will lead me... and that has brought the comfort I needed this morning... You are quite amazing.....

If asked if I wanted to empower my daughter (and sons but I think this has more to do with her and the shock of everyone that I would buy a Nerf gun for myself) I would of course ask YES!!! But it is learning to empower her in the way that will catapult her into her life as she is not who I would make her out to be.......

The Pharisee says this is the law.. this is who you need to be... because it is easier when there are a strict set of rules... but love came to Earth to show us that it is more .. much more a matter of the heart. I think of how Jesus walked with the people... truly walked with them... truly saw them.... who they were... their weaknesses, their strengths... who they were going to be and he spoke into that......

Day 10 has certainly had its lessons and to think most of them came from an $8 double barrel Nerf shotgun.