Welcome to the series... Lessons learned from 6 of the most amazing people I get to know... My kiddos

You would think that the mom of six children would have dreamed her whole life of becoming a mother.


I actually get that question more than I care to remember, the question that asks; "Did you always want to be a mom?"


It's kind of like the question I always get at Trader Joes when buying our cereal and breakfast bars.  I always get asked one of a few questions.  They either assume I am driving from far away and stocking up or that I am doing my semi annual, twice a year, shopping.. Well, maybe not that last one but someone always makes a comment.  Then the conversation begins about the fact that we have six children and then the questions usually continue on things like how long will the enormous amount of food I am buying last our family.  The answer, usually two weeks.


When you have a big family, the oddity of it intrigues people and they do ask all sorts of questions.


This morning I was reading some articles and came across a to do list of how to be a mom,  it was simple and pure enough, and had great things in it but as I read it I thought about in the beginning of journeying into motherhood what I had was more of the "what I don't want to dos" then what I wanted to do....  I knew what I didn't want to happen to my children and I knew who I didn't want to be as a mom, but I didn't know what to do or what would propel me into something different.


While I read more than I can care to even remember what I do remember were the insecurities.


The reality of holding a real human being in my hands and heart and wanting so much for him, for them...  What an awe inspiring and terrifying task!  The raising of another human being.


I'll tell you this about books, and lists and conversations with friends and other moms and dads.. they are all great given their place.. they are...  But more times than naught I would be left with something in my heart that would continue to tell me something I hadn't thought of before, something that nobody would tell me would be the RIGHT Christian way to raise a kid, something that I even looked up to Heaven and thought.. "REALLY?!?!?! REALLY... You've got to be kidding me."


More times that I care to remember it felt like shooting from the hip and walking blind.


But what came to mind today as I read that post and looked at its list was the words of my dearest of friends, Sue Frisbie... She is the mother to 6 amazing men and has taught me more about being a mom and being human than anything.  This woman was an on ramp for me into life... she was the one I would look to and yet something she has said about my parenting has stuck with me and carried me through some of our hardest days of parenting....


She was talking about what she saw in me as a mom... which coming from her and knowing how well she knew me was amazing...  She told me she watched me as I went after my children's hearts... That it was their hearts that I pursued.   We talked about exterior actions and behavior and who was looking at who and she spoke of how she really valued how I took each child and just let them be and for me, a girl, who shot from the hip and came from the past that I did, that was all I needed to hear...


So get this and know..  your heart knows your kid better than anyone.. and if you take them and look at them and press into their hearts and press into the heart of the Lord for them you most certainly won't go wrong....


Pursue the heart of your child... I wouldn't fight exterior actions, yes.. discipline but I knew that if I captured their hearts and if they knew that they were loved their behavior would come around.. in some cases it has been months... days... etc...  and some cases it was a couple of years.. but time after time I would love them and pursue their hearts and as I look at some of them today.. I see incredible human beings emerging.. But more than anything I see individuals emerging know that they are loved... knowing they can mess up and still be loved.. knowing that they are received.. knowing that they can make choices... knowing that they will always have a home and always have the affection of their parents...


So I KNOW we have gotten a lot of things wrong.. but man... I do actually agree with my dear friend.. we have pursued their hearts and loved them and in doing that you truly can't go wrong...

Welcome to this series of blogs I am going to write.. lessons learned from the six... each one has taught me different things from birth to present... I am looking forward to this journey of traveling with the memories and realities of my kiddos.