I close my eyes and sit and think of the steps that lead into the building and the pews that fill out the sanctuary. I close my eyes and see a crazy awesome truly tall man standing at the front. I smile.
I feel ridiculously blessed in life at times. While we spent years without a church home now there are two places that reside very deeply within my heart. My affections and passion for each are huge.
For days now a phrase that comes from the vision statement of Renovatus Church in Charlotte, NC, has been reverberating throughout my entire being. It is part of what is affectionately called, The Renovatus Manifesto, http://renovatuschurch.com/#/about-us/the-manifesto. The phrase, the liturgy and the shout, reads like this: "We will practice the liturgy and the primal shout. ~ We will incite worship that engages both intellect and emotion, believing that the head and heart are to be integrated and not divorced."
It goes far beyond worship for me these days and as true worship does it has infiltrated my world, my life, my all and all...
I was saved through a visitation. I have never known Christianity without signs and wonders and spirit. Until I crossed the threshold of Renovatus I had only ever been a part of Charismatic churches. At one point over seven years ago I ended up exhausted. Exhausted with church culture, exhausted with ministry, exhausted by flagrant abuses that were called, "spirit" but the fruit was anything but. It would take a few years until a dear friend would mention the name, Renovatus, and walking with that community has birthed within me an appreciation for liturgy that I never had before. In their blending of liturgy and shout I have seen a fullness of walking with the Lord in spirit and in truth, and it has filled my heart and strengthened my spirit.
Oh most of us have heard the statements, that even the churches that aren't liturgical at all have their "liturgy," and those who proclaim absolute freedom from such "confinements," well, the patterns of their non-liturgy come out. I have heard much criticism concerning the ways of liturgical churches and how they quench the flow of Holy Spirit and I have heard the words of the other side calling the flow of the Holy Spirit emotionally charged insanity.
What it comes down to is order.. not the order of men or of well intention but the ordering of God. In that place God can be trusted. He who set the stars in place and holds the foundations of the universe together brings forth greater order out of chaos... It truly comes down to trust. Can we trust God to order our lives, our families, our congregations, our ministries... can we trust the Lord for the flow of service, the flow of the day... The flow of of our days. Can we embrace structure and discipline and order and know that the fluidity of it is not rigid but beautiful and alive and moving?
For me in being confronted with and getting to see what liturgy and shout can look like when dancing together has been revolutionary and is only getting even more so. As the process played out recently I went to do a personal retreat at an Abby near Charlotte. While there the reality of what it looks like to embrace the disciplines of the Faith and the strength and life that reverberate through them, if they aren't treated as some litmus test or proving ground for some sort of super Christian, was brought so deeply home into my heart. They are NOT something to perform. They are NOT something to judge oneself or any other by.... BUT they are a beautiful and strengthening component to one's walk with the Lord.
I have added some structures throughout my day that have set times and set perimeters, and they are a huge source of liberty and life! Morning and afternoon and evening to reset and reposition my heart purposefully before the Lord. I have begun a daily morning devotional for the online ministry my husband and I direct, Stirthewater.com. Using the Psalms as the launching point we come together at 5:30am (est) to seek the Lord and abide in His truth, speak life and blessings over participants and enjoy community. Very soon we will step into a year long weekly devotional using Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline and the workbook, to learn how to abide and celebrate and live and grow in our faith. How to not do these things as things to perform but to do these things as things that under gird our lives and our days!
I sat and listened to one of my favorite teachers this morning talk about the reality of the beauty of order. How essential it is to not operate within the rut of a controlling mindset, in which there is no budging from time and flow of service, but how operating within the other rut is just as dangerous. The rut, that has no authority and an anything goes mentality, is just as harmful to the hearts and spirits of the people of the Lord.
So the liturgy and the shout... it fills out my days... it is the heart beat of God! God brings great order out of chaos. His ways are not our ways they are so much higher and so much better. God's order is NOT stifling! God's order is not rigid! It is beautiful and fluid and full of freedom and at the same time has shape and structure and consistency. Only our magnificent God could so orchestrate a reality for us... may we keep in tune to His symphony and be caught up in the written notes and sounds as they fill the air.
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