Walking the Passage: It has become a raw blanket trust

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It has become a raw blanket trust

I knew it wasn't good when at 6am I was reaching for a diet coke... I knew it hadn't been good when as the day progressed my hand rarely didn't have a diet coke in it.

When the world and life and the flesh crashed in and kept crashing in I realized today that I have reached for a diet coke, I held tight to an aluminium can full of chemicals that suck calcium from my bones and kill brain cells.

There aren't even the words to say or not say...

As one who can disclose intimate details of life and my walk with Christ I find myself silent. Silent in the realization of His Lordship. Silent in the understanding that it is well with my soul. Silenced in the understanding that His ways are the ways my feet must walk upon and there is no other path.

The silence just can't be filled with words. And it is ok... It is full of a trust and an acknowledgement but finding language to express anything only seems to fall short. I want to fill the silence so I turn to diet coke, or a television show, or ... Fill in the blank... BUT as I turn to face the silence, as I turn to just sit and allow this time to be what it is there is a raw blanket trust that is communicated without words.

I look up to the Heavens and don't even speak, not even utter one prayer.. But I look and I acknowledge.. HIM!

It has become a raw blanket trust... And there are no words...

I trust Him.. I trust Him to be my God.. I want to be His.. I don't want to have any other kings before Him.. He is it... There is no other path... When you come to the Red Sea and it hasn't parted and the armies of the enemy are in hot pursuit if the seas don't split then that is that....
But we serve a God who parts the waters... time and time and time again.

I have fell silent... there are not the words to speak.. just pure blanket trust... because He is either my God or He isn't... and with all that is within me that question was settled a long time ago... I have learned and am learning that my life is in His hands, I don't sit back and rest on my laurels but when upon the edge of the waters I stand, awaiting the waters to part, I need to refuse to do anything else but stand, even when the stampeding hoofs of the enemy's cavalry shake the ground beneath me...

Silence has birthed raw trust... I stand face to face with my God.. But Him .. BUT Him.. my trust is not in horses.. my trust is not in chariots.. my trust is not in my own strength or capacities because they wain... My trust is laid at His feet.. My eyes are set upon His face.. My heart is stilled in His company.. and I wait... I wait in silence...I wait for Him

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One of my Favorite Narnian Quotes...

“One word, Ma’am,” he said, coming back from the fire; limping because of the pain. “One word. All you’ve been saying is quite right, I shouldn’t wonder. I’m a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won’t deny any of what you said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world that makes you real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for the Overland.

A Brilliant Quote from Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking

so that others won't feel unsure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in every one.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.