Friday, March 16, 2012

So here we go... liars and manipulators and those that love them or live with them.. here is a story for you..... part 3



I know that some of those emotions are the reasons people cut themselves... and step into cutting... hurting so badly on the inside they try to replicate the pain on the outside.... I remember as a child scratching myself so badly until my arms or hands or legs would bleed.... looking for attention.. needing attention... so many bad things happening but not knowing how to communicate them... not knowing how to ask for help... lying about everything.... not knowing how to live one single moment of life.... living in a vapor... feeling invisible.... but feeling so much pain.... wishing I could die or disappear... not thinking I mattered to another living soul....

So alone... so much despair... so much isolation... so humiliated.. a panicked wounded crazed animal is how I would describe myself more than even human...

yup... that was me... lying to friends... family... manipulating.... trying to control the uncontrollable emotions.... trying to contain everything that was leaking out all to quickly …. trying and failing miserably and hurting a lot of people in my wake.....

So fast forward to a season where the Lord has encouraged me to open up my life for the strengthening and comfort of others.... fast forward to a season where a son has been so sick and in so much pain for almost a month... you better believe buttons being pushed and past things remembered....

Being in the ER one morning and telling the doctors there that he is an A/B student and that he was happy and well adjusted... and he had friends and he loved sports and that he wouldn't make this up... but wondering what they were thinking.... to calling my pediatrician and for him to speak that he knew us... that he knew my son and he knew he wasn't a complainer... He called the ER back and told them he didn't think it was psychosomatic.. and that would they please run the tests again...

Every time I had to call the doctors... to ask for help.. (BUT I WAS ASKING) I swallowed hard... I could feel the nerves in my stomach lurch... and then when the moment came where I had to assert myself as a mom to the professionals and ask for something to happen “today” not in a couple days or in two weeks... I lowered my head and closed my eyes and as I choked out the words I said them... I asked for the help that I needed … and I realized later as I thought back over the last three weeks... that these three weeks were probably changing my life and who I was more than I could even think...

I stood in that moment and thought of all the times I lived through where I wasn't known and there was no one to speak up for me and where there were lies and falsehood... I thought of having to lie for almost two decades to protect a family that hadn't protected me.... I thought of living for decades that if I spoke the truth I would ruin a family that hadn't stood by and made sure that I wouldn't be ruined... I thought how amazing in one generation how the Lord could so heal a family line... and how in one generation a child's experience could be so different... I thought of what it meant to be known and supported... I thought about my son and how he has had family, friends, community, doctors all standing alongside him trying to help him and that he was able to communicate and express that he was in pain and not shrink back from communicating it but be heard.....

In one generation..... but also in my life... my child's life and my life being so different than anything anyone would have even ever believed to be possible.....

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