Pausing to consider how much of a broken record I feel like at times... and as I did I was swamped with doubt .... as I stopped my inner voice I gathered up and leaned in.. and I felt the Father's affections burn even hotter upon my back... "Tell them about the rainbows.... tell them ... tell them about our walks...."
Somethings are so personal... so intimate that I try and use words to convey around the actual experiences at times without saying everything.... as a husband and wife have obvious moments that are just between the pair of them and even good friends share a bond that at times includes special inside understanding.... so too is our relationship with God...
Today is different... today I feel nudged ever so gently towards another cliff... there are things I share without saying that which I see at the moment... there are words I put together in an attempt to express the affections of the Father or Christ or Spirit...
and yet these moments I find my fingers faltering and halting and my heart pounding and my mind screaming... However I also know that that which surrounds me overcomes all of that and the choice lies at my feet...
How do I express that as I come to write all else disappears and a solid white lighted substance surrounds my hands and covers them as would lotion... how do I convey that the affections of the Father are painted out and poured out and displayed upon the surroundings...
and than as I write and risk there He is again .. stepping in and leading the way...
oh if I could encourage you in anything it would be to take the risks and the jumps that He wants ... walk into the places that He beacons you to venture... step .. take steps because when you leap off cliffs into the unknown you silence the voices of fear that tell you not to go there and instead of fear having its victory the Father displays the most magnificent of nets and catches you in the most marvelous of ways...
JUMP ...
LEAP...
RISK...
All that I am trying to convey is liken to the scene in Hook when Robin Williams character sits at a table and does not see food.... doesn't see anything matter of fact... the bowls and plates are empty.. empty... as can be some of the aspects of our lives.. filled with emptiness... filled with longing... filled with nothing but doubt and fear.. loneliness and turmoil... . nothingness... that is what I settled for for far too long ..
unfortunately I think you all know that which I am speaking about... but in a moment of not even realizing what he is about to do .. Robin Williams' character dips his spoon into a bowl and goes to fling food into one of the lost boys faces...... as he does that one action without sight.. without anything to tell him that there is something actually in that bowl ..... He opens up a whole new world... a whole new world... a whole new world...
There IS food on the table... there is food in the bowls... THERE IS FOOD ON THE TABLE
There is a Father who stands beside you daily pouring out His affections upon you.. There are aspects of the Kingdom that surround you and give off their strength to you.. There are aspects of light and hope and faith that course through the atmosphere that linger there for you to grab a hold of... courage.. boldness... joy.... it is all there... it is all available... it is all there for you to reach out and while not seeing it at first grab a hold of it and COME ALIVE.... Come alive into the reality of your ambassadorial existence!!
I implore you... I intercede for you... grab a hold of the unseen realities that surround you all the time and you will jump and leap into a life that you have only ever dreamed of .. and imagined possible....
So the rainbow... The story the Father wanted me to share... this is it...
I was lonely one afternoon.. horribly so... loneliness abounds in my life at times... I think of it as Paul must of thought about that thorn... it comes in waves and grabs a hold of my soul in such a torturous way sometimes that it steals the very breath out of me .. I know that it is being used as a training ground but even with that understanding it does not bring comfort...
So this day.. I was driving and at a traffic light I closed my eyes for a moment to try and obtain some peace.... the Father was abundantly present and saturating my soul with His affections.... than as I drove it was like a hand crossed the sky .. His hand and upon it was painted a rainbow... a bright beautiful blue crisp clear sky had a rainbow... and the representation of the covenant of peace between God and mankind resounded in the sky and yet He wasn't done....
it was like He was saying to me as His daughter that there is nothing He wouldn't do .. and again came the hand and again another rainbow.. and it was there... Nothing He wouldn't do... doubly so... all I desire are His affections... I don't know how else He will desire to flow through me.. I don't know if I will ever see physical healings or miracles or whatever else He likes to do.. although I know them to be coming...
But beyond anything He would ever pour through me... I hunger and thirst for Him more than anything I could express... and I must say not only am I filled time after time after time.. but I am alive and full of His affections ... Fathered in a way I always hungered for ... the object of His affections.. my eyes open to that which surrounds me... and grants me boldness....
I encourage you.. dip your spoon in the empty bowl and when taking it out see that which flies forth.............
No comments:
Post a Comment