Worship from days past fill my head... from songs sung upon days of newly finding Christ to seasons spent within incredible worship communities.... times and hours spent worshipping within families and among those I love that only fill my heart with wonderment about what it will be like to stand before Him and lift up our voices as one......
There are moments that have danced within my head this morning with the most cherished of memories.... notes and lyrics that have reformed my very being as they have been sung and lingered in the air..... People and friends with whom I have stood and added my voice to theirs and worshipped together... those days and nights and times have washed over me this morning ...
And in my thoughts of all these times I have wondered simply why... as beautiful as these moments and memories are was there something more....
and as He does...
down a trail we walked and holding my hand and looking down upon me ... causing my gaze to lift up and meet His eyes He drew me to His side and His words cascaded down me like the most gentle of waterfalls..... and yet the roar and strength of the words have left me staggering to catch myself... so grateful for your arm which always catches me....
But even in that moment the action left wisdom upon my soul..... For it is within those moments when I come to worship Him that I am the most of who I am.... I run towards Him and unguarded and unprotected ... abandon myself to all that He is..... I don't attempt to catch myself or watch my words... I don't play any part or attend any role... I lay bare my soul and care less about the surroundings... In those moments I taste and see a goodness and a presence that brings forth within me the essences of all He created me to be... and I have realized and am beginning to grasp that it is who I am in those moments that He longs for me to carry forth at all times......
"The stars in the sky bow to You. The flowers of the field dance to Your song. I am not ashamed to lift up my voice, I am not ashamed. I run to the edge of Your love, close my eyes, fall in to You. As I rest in Your arms I know I'm free, I know I'm free. "(Josh Young)
I remember services singing this song... and this morning the lyrics have echoed in my head... and the knowledge of freedom has coursed throughout my being and captured my attentions and I heed a Father's instructions....
The stars never apologize for brilliantly lighting up the night and the flowers never refrain from offering up their beauty.... I repent and apologize for moments when I have failed to do so.... when conscious of the quirks of my personality I think twice before offering up an encouraging word or sharing that which rests upon my heart.....it is those times when concern for the thoughts of men hinder the expression of who I am and outweigh the desire to live as He would have me live... But I jump and leap and enter into a place where I acknowledge my life is not my own and though I might want to meter out my affections I would rather trust a Father who absolutely knows what He is doing when He asks of me to live unfettered from the opinions and accolades and detractions of man..... And "as I rest in Your arms I know I'm free... I know I'm free..."
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