I took the time to wonder about my new paths today. I don't know what they hold. I don't even know why I fully began to pursue all these things. All I know is that they came upon me and I began to walk them out. I took steps on a path that presented itself and now I am more alive. Passions of mine and possibilities of life that I never pursued like this before are at my doorstep. I just want to make sure that the main things stay the main things. Must put up a list somewhere that I see all day or throughout the day in order to just make sure that every once and a while I am resetting things straight. Loving God and loving people... My husband and kids come first in the category of loving people. Their home lives must be magical..... days filled with laughter and quiet moments... yes, that is it.... that is what I will write somewhere and post it in my home several places.... HOME MUST BE A PLACE OF MAGICAL MOMENTS... Laughter and Quiet times together A MUST!!!! I perk up as I read that.... so that is what I will do !
As I dropped off Caspian tonight and headed to pick up Rebekah and Gideon from the barn a V of birds flew over head. There is a story attached to that picture for me... a very moving one and it is a secret between the Lord and I that I share with a few friends here and there.... I once asked God for a gift. Something between He and I. Something tangible in this world that would be like a wink from Him. The initial request was made almost two decades ago.... A few weeks past and then I was standing upon the shore of a lake and a V of birds flew over head. In the moments that followed dozens upon dozens of birds, flying in that formation, continued to fly above me. At one point the sky just filled with them and I knew. I knew that that would be a love sign between my Lord and myself. Throughout the years without fail in moments when there was a deep need in me to know Him in the moment or to have a confirmation I would hear the sound and look above me to see His signature. Tonight I needed encouragement. I needed to know that this path I am upon was of His making and His will and that I am following upon it to the best of my ability..... I needed to hear "this is the way walk in it..." and there it was.... He knows me... He truly knows me.... And in that moment the things that were growing weak in me burst back with energy and confidence.
In all my pursuits... in all the moments of this living experiment, moments of doubt creep in and try to lay waste to my affections. Not the loving God and people portion but the new goals that have come upon the scene. They were not planned forth with much advance notice. They didn't start with tons of prayer behind them... Upon the scene of my life they popped up and I grasped at them. Tonight's kiss from Heaven gave me what I have found that I needed. The wink of a Father telling a daughter this is me... run with it... this is me.... Thank you Father you are truly an amazing God.
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