Life Outside The Rut.....

I have come to a place lately where I have learned how to jump. Not jump rope. But just jump! I had thought I had come to a dead end. Truly, I could not perceive what the next season of my life entailed. I had settled into the idea that it was time to focus even more on the kids and make their dreams come true. (Well, to the best of my abilities.) That is not a bad focus. Nor has it passed away. That is still very much a desire upon my heart of hearts. Still a very important focus of my life.

Except when I "settled" into that thought I was settling. It was the easiest thought for me to have. It was convenient. It was comfortable. It was safe. It seemed and looked on the outside like a great goal. Yet there was more to be had.

How many times as an adult do we stand up and look around and see the rut that we are walking in? Well, I hadn't for a long time. I had my comfort areas.. my family, my groups that I belonged to, my ideas, my stuff...... There were not many areas in my life that were open to criticism or feedback.

Then one day I thought about my oldest son and how he puts himself out there on a continuous basis. On the football field, on the wrestling mat, in school, in life, etc.... Constantly being graded. Constantly being accessed by peers and coaches. I thought about him and his life and thought about the daily risks that he incurred. Something in me was stirred.

Before I knew it I was back in school... before I knew it I was reaching out and asking permission from various sources to allow me to enter into their worlds. I was leaving my rut behind. I had jumped the embankment. I am never going back!

I am now a student again. Submitting assignments for grades and opinions. I am now pursuing writing like I haven't in a very long time. Receiving feedback and constructive criticism. I am becoming more the photographer that I always wanted. Submitting photos into groups for instruction and helpful hints. I am linking with groups that I have never met before and meeting all sorts of new people. It is not easy but it is wonderful.

I had grown comfortable in my rut. The people I knew that knew me and liked me (for the most part..smile), day in and day out my life was predictable..... safe.....

Now there are moments where I swallow hard. As I enter a new situation and as I meet new people I find myself taking a deep breath and taking one step forward at a time...... Opening myself up to rejection, criticism, critique.... I am loving the adventure... My school. My new projects. My new friends.

So think about it..... have you joined a new group lately? Can you walk into every situation in your life and be known? Think about it... there were years in my life where that was the case. And I was more than comfortable. I would meet new people but within my circles. So I had the cushion of introducing myself within the context of my surroundings. Try doing that when that isn't the case. Go to something completely new.... Somewhere where you aren't known at all..... walk in that place.... It was interesting to realize how much I had relied on the rut. But I am LOVING living out of it!!! The rut well it was what it was.... this ... this is truly living.....