...to choose in the face of it all, not death but life! Nouwen speaks from the heart.. a path to follow

I know so many (too many) ministers and people in ministry that could echo Nouwen's words as he wrote them in his, An Inner Voice of Love:A Journey through Anguish to Freedom.  When I read his introduction to this piece, I saw words that echoed my own heart, and passages that were filled with
emotions I sadly too understood.

"Just when I had found a home, I felt absolutely homeless. Just when I was being praised for my spiritual insights, I felt devoid of faith. Just when people were thanking me for bringing them closer to God, I felt that God had abandoned me."

I saw in his words feelings that echo my own and that echo those I have watched in ministry.

I will share this picture that the Lord showed me a short while back.  It was of a clay jug, it had a wide mouth, a narrow middle and a rounded base.  I knew He wanted me to look inside...  There was a black murky and moldy substance around the bottom.  "This ... This is what you are pulling from." In essence I had so been pulling on my own know how in ministry and in teaching and directing that I had become more like the foolish virgins and allowed my own lamp to run out.

These last few articles about realizing the surface beauty of Pharoh's chariots and the strength of his horses, and how instead of trusting upon that strength and ability we must cease striving and know Him as God.  We must rest.  We must lean.  We must center our interior life upon Him.  In all our getting and doing we play the vain fool.  Instead we must turn and rest in His shadow. We must linger and breath Him in as the air we need to fill our lungs.


To become human again. Not machines of ministry, or consumables that the public can enjoy for an hour or two but not know nor understand and potentially not even care about the cost upon the person pouring out. I know too many men and women  who have been devoured.  In some places out of their own need and vanity to build and to be received and welcomed and wanted.  We all have exchanged the glory of God, His thoughts and opinions, for the tantalizing adulteries and idolatries. We have been as lunatics going after the vapor like praises of men and positions granted and public acclaim, rather than stand in the solid places of the powerful and quiet and abundant and CONSISTENT affections of God.

I am tired of seeing the effects on both the minister who ends up in the most horrific of places as well as the religious laziness of the majority.  It is time to (NOT out of performance mentality but out of need for survival) realize the depths to which we are loved and rest in that love so that we can arise as those who were once dry bones but are now the empowered exceedingly great army of God...

This is our most essential calling .. this is the path of  life.. to seek Him while He may be found and to open our hearts and hear what He is saying...  To invite the Lord into your days and moments you will never be disappointed.. take the time and quiet yourself and in all your pursuit of the Kingdom make sure your utmost pursuit is of Him...  all else will and does pass away... the vanity under the sun makes it self known... it is not new .. but a very old struggle... Embrace Him and vanity flees...