The song of the Bride is both a dirge and a shout of triumph...

There I said it...

I remember back over a decade ago.. When this one friend of mine and I stepped into a moment.

It would become probably one of the most honest conversations I had ever had and one of my all time favorite conversations of my life.

We asked the very hard questions. We were truly honest with one another. We discovered that neither one had what the other one thought that person had, and we laughed and we cried and we discovered true love and friendship.

I'm back upon a journey at a new height. It isn't a circle around a wilderness, it is a journey up a steep mountain and I have just gotten some new rope and new courage and instead of laboriously tromping up the beaten path, I'm scaling new heights.

I have looked fear, rejection, betrayal, sorrow, loneliness, pain, and that list can go on and on... and said.. “You are going to walk with me. You are going to be a part of my life.

What I do with you is the key.

You are always going to be around some corner.

You are always going to be right in my face.

Your voices are real and yet there is one who amplifies them and taunts me with your ills.

So I look at you.

I look at you square in the face.

I say.. come along traveling companions.

Come along.

Because I know something that the one who taunts me doesn't want me to know.

I know that if I let you, you produce amazing realities inside of me.

If I don't let you torment me, but I allow myself to be formed through you, I will be formed BY Another.

You see.. I will be lonely. I will be afraid. I will be rejected. I will know sorrow. I will feel pain. BUT I WILL NOT KNOW DEFEAT. Through all these things I will overcome. NOT because I am strong enough, or resilient enough, or have it altogether.

More times than naught, I want to say YOU WIN.. YOU'RE RIGHT, I'm the fool to believe otherwise...

The voices that scream.. You aren't wanted, You aren't needed, Nobody cares, You are the fool for believing otherwise. Those voices.. those taunts.. that only equals DEATH. They might EVEN BE RIGHT.

Maybe I'm not wanted by those I want to be wanted by..

Maybe I'm not included by those whose company I want to keep and whose friendship I thought I had

Maybe I'm not a million things..

But for as much as I am NOT.. HE is the GREAT I AM...

So while I am lonely, He whispers.. Lo I am with you even until the end of the age

So while I am hurting, He comforts and speaks I will never leave you nor forsake you

So while I am grieving, He weeps with me and upholds my hand

So while I am scared, He smiles because He knows the most bedazzling of secrets, and mouths the words for me to not be afraid, as He stands towering over me so that I can rest in His shadow. He stands over me declaring me as “MINE” the reality that I am HIS thunders throughout all Creation.

He teaches me His ways of joy and laughter and leads me quietly beside still waters even during the most turbulent of times.

So while I am weak, I am learning the magnificent Kingdom reality that I am strong, because He strengthens me.

The taunting and reality of this life, this world, and spiritual darkness is such to have me wear masks so I am accepted and play strong so I am wanted. The song of the Kingdom is to unmask and with unveiled faces behold Him, and let His love transform all those places in us that would receive the lies and taunting of this world.

Of course I am wanted.. I was thought about before the Creation of the world

Of course I am strong... Because regardless of what I can “perform” He is with Me, and His rod and staff strengthens me...

Of course I am loved... His passion took Him from the Heavenly realms to a straw bed in a manger to a wooden cross...

So I will walk in this world with sorrow, I will walk weak at times, I will touch pain and rejection, betrayal and loss... But I will through grace walk .. more like it LEAN... and keep my eyes upon Him as the winds and the waves try their best and when the wind and the waves win, I will take a hold of the out stretched arm that will always be out stretched for me... I will know joy, laughter, delight, peace, compassion.. because I know Him and because He brings the best of gifts...

It all entwines to become a majestic symphony and it's melodies are the most phenomenal sound of all creation.. It is the song of the Bride being birthed and formed and fashioned for a wedding and a banquet that has been guaranteed.

Come walk the narrow .. high passages with me .. as we cross over to meet the One whom my heart loves...