Uneducated and Broke

There's this story, you know it well.  

But what I want you to do, this morning,  is consider this story for the perspective of the beggar.

Being brought to the temple, one who begs alms from those going in and coming out.  Unable to move or take care of yourself all that well.  Relying on the generosity of others.  People come in and out all day.  

Two men approach.  Now because we know the story, we know this about these men.  They were uneducated.  What the beggar quickly understands is that they were both uneducated and had no silver and gold.

If I was the beggar I would be thinking, 'keep going gentleman, keep going.. the educated will be here soon, as well as those who do have some coins to help me out with. You, you I have no need for..."  

Except the beggar's life was about to be utterly transformed.. 

 When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he began asking to receive alms. But Peter, along with John, fixed his gaze on him and said, “Look at us!” And he began to give them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene—walk!” And seizing him by the right hand, he raised him up; and immediately his feet and his ankles were strengthened. With a leap he stood upright and began to walk; and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God; and they were taking note of him as being the one who used to sit at the Beautiful Gate of the temple to beg alms, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

I got away for a couple days after New Years.  I entered into a place of solitude and silence.  There are many things stirring in my heart. I needed to seek the Lord. I needed to quiet my soul.

I have much I desire to talk about. Much I desire to seek out and pursue.

What have I put my hope in? What have I put my trust in?

I want to try to write a better blog. So I go and read others and try to see what is “trending.” I educate myself. The funny thing that happened to me was the more I did that the less I wrote. Writing became laborious to me. I lost all joy. Trying to figure out.. well, I am a mom.. (Of 6 kids no less) I could write about that, I am a wife, and a minister. I have dramatic components to my life story I can write about those times and what the Lord has done. But the more I contemplated what my niche per se was, the less I wrote. My heart felt heavy and my mind felt dull.

I feel like the Lord has been highlighting many things to me...

I feel like He has equated so much of the modern day industry of christianity to the frenzied nature of the 450 prophets of baal. So much activity.. so much frantic and manic “works” being done in the name of this and that man... So much intermingling and trust with the constructs and concepts of the world and SO MUCH EXHAUSTION....

I feel like I have really heard from the Lord and seen the challenge that when He isn't doing something do we have the courage to be still and know Him as God? Or do we immediately fill in with our powerful light and smoke shows and a flurry of sudo-godly activity. When the Lord is silent do we have it in us to not speak? Or do we fill the air ways with noise?

Back to the story of the beggar. Back to the story of not knowing what to write any more.

As I contemplated the reality of Peter and John and the beggar. As I thought about the uneducated and broke men, I realized they had what they had and they trusted in that.

It is said of the Lord, Psalm 65:5 “You who are the trust of all the ends of the earth, and of the farthest sea.”

The reality of who the Lord is... DO I BELIEVE?

Or have I trusted more in the proverbial chariots and horses?

So in this season, in the new year of 2014, I quiet myself and I remain still. I am personally uneducated and relatively broke. But this I have … In the name of Jesus I arise and walk....

I'm not as poetic or articulate as some. I have not any connections or relations truly to speak of... But again.. while I have not (and that list can seem endless at times) … I do have this.. In the name of Jesus I arise and walk …..

I have said quite frequently lately.. My crisis has not been a crisis of faith.. IT IS a CRISIS of EXPRESSION. I can no longer buy into the charismatic or culturally current trends of the expression of the religion of churchianity.

I must seek and wait and pause and settle myself and learn to trust and believe that if I believe in God and then He will direct my paths.

I know of what I speak of I have spent over two decades in some form of ministry. And while I know NOT of what it is to look like moving forward, I know this.... There is a moving forward. There is an expression of the Kingdom that is authentic and powerful and true.... God will not be mocked and He has dispersed tower building before...

I no longer want to work in vain or in my own strength...

What does that truly look like? I wonder.... But for now I continue being still and looking to know Him as God. For now I remain still and silent.

Today I stand uneducated and broke... but what I have I do give to you.. Freely... In the name of Jesus Christ walk.. YOU .. Walk... arise and live today.. live today boldly and confidently and with courage.... I am going to walk forward today.. I am going to go walking and leaping and knowing....

What will it look like? I know not... but in His name I am excited to find out...