Going back to when I didn't know...

I'll never forget the day, when I listened to a co-ed express how she had lied upon her application, it was  to gain entrance to the Christian college that we were both attending way back when.

Way back then I didn't know much....

I had had a visitation..

I had prayed a prayer that I didn't even know had a name.. (ie the Sinner's prayer)..

I had spoken words out of desperation...

I had asked if He had existed...

In seconds I knew 5 things...

There was a God
It had to do with Jesus Christ
It had to do with the cross
It had to do with the bible..
He was going to lead me somewhere to teach me more about Himself....

I had thought that last thing was the first place I would go to learn.. (said Christian college referenced above..) I didn't realize it was an invitation to the life I was going to live....

But before I knew anything...
Before I knew official prayer
Before I knew how to tell the story of my "getting saved."
I knew I loved Him....
I knew He answered to me when I called

That was enough....

Back to my story that I shared...  the co-ed who had lied.. back then I didn't get it.. why would she lie?  Why would she have to?   Sadly, two decades later I get it....

Back then I didn't...

I hadn't realized that my visitation now classified me as a Christian...

So when I called said school my question was, "I'm Jewish can I even come to your school."

I hadn't realized that my visitation now classified me as one who had a "relationship" with God.

So when I had to write an essay "describing my relationship with God," I wrote that I didn't have one but explained about what was happening in my life...

I hadn't realized that I had been "born again."

So when having to fill out a survey answering that question if I had ever had a "born again" experience, I wrote, "no," isn't that a cult.

I hadn't realized that I had prayed the most profound prayer I would ever pray.

So I wept not thinking I knew how to pray.

I hadn't realized that I had admitted my utmost need...............

In my not knowing I knew....... In my innocence I trusted... In my new found faith I leapt...

Twenty years plus later I am embracing the truth and reality of the fact that I have learned to "know" things... except I step back and away and go back to those first few moments where I knew not anything and was known by God...

"we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. 2If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know; 3but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.…" (1 Corinthians 8:2)

AND

Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, he must become foolish, so that he may become wise. (1 Corinthians 3:18)

I'm not standing at that first window when unknowingly I prayed a prayer that would forever altar the course of my life.  I'm standing at a new door.  Praying a prayer that I plead alters the course of my life.....