Because your hungry.. But you don't have to sell your birthright for a bowl of soup...

So silence and solitude.... the two words that are before me.. How does a mom of 6 get that?  Honestly I'm not sure...  and being about to embark upon a road trip for the holidays.. again I don't know.. except I'm taking the moments...  shutting out and shutting up.  There are times and moments where those are the only two crutches that I can walk with....

The other day the Lord had me thinking about Esau and how in his hunger he sold his birthright for a bowl of food. There was a moment of hunger. His momentary hunger dictated everything to him. It was real. It was what he felt. The bowl of soup meant more to him then his identity. His birthright's worth meant nothing to him, nothing more than a bowl of soup...

What do I daily sell out my birthright for?  What do I so easily give away?  What don't I push back upon and what do I cling to?

I'll give it to Esau that he wanted what he could see.. He wanted what would satisfy.. He wasn't thinking long term.. He was thinking, hunger.. NOW... Fill it... And there was his brother willing to gain... 

There is an eternal perspective.. A heavenly perspective within that story that I truly feel like I need to capture.. because I sell out my birthright for momentary earthly gain... we feed a hunger, a need, a want because we want, we need and we hunger. Thinking more of the moment than eternity.

There are moments where I would love that there would be an immediate answer or filling of a desperate need....  It isn't those moments that scare me though... The moments that scare me are the moments when that immediate answer presents itself...  "Here...." Says it...  Why go into a wilderness for 40 days and face trials and temptations?  Why not just take for yourself?  It will surely feel better.. Your hunger/need will go away... 

The birthright of overcomer.. the birthright of son or daughter ..  Is stolen in those moments... Momentary relief followed by consequences beyond imagination....  

The stomach gets full but the soul is left wanting....

It can be ministry as much as it can be sex, it can be food as much as it can be drugs, it can be alcohol as much as it can be diet soda... Whatever we fill that need with BUT God...  we sacrifice who we are on an altar that is not of God...

It is hard to stand hungry
It is brutal to stand cold
It is scary to stand lonely
It is sad to stand in grief

At some point I must choose that who I am is more important then hunger, that who I am is more important then granting to myself some momentary false comfort... at some point I must turn my back away from a culture and an enemy that taunts and says, "turn these stones into bread." And at some point I must believe that having asked for bread He will not give me a stone.... At some point I must choose that who He is is faithful, that who He is is good...  That who He is is worth waiting for ....

I must believe that

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

“Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

I don't have to sell my birthright as to not be hungry... I must allow hunger as to enter into my birthright...

I don't have to sell my birthright as to not be lonely and grief stricken.. I must mourn as to receive comfort...

My right to new birth was granted by one who gave all He had ... a price beyond comprehension and my most fervent prayer has become for strength that in the immediate I would not disregard such a gift....