Why I can't swerve for squirrels...

A car was coming in the opposite direction and within my car was my husband and our two youngest children.  I could feel the tension building inside of me and I started to slow down.  "Don't  swerve for that squirrel."  He was right.  Everything in me wanted to and in all honesty, if it just had been me in the car I probably would have swerved or at the very least slowed as far down as I could or even come to a complete stop as to not hit that squirrel.

But my husband was right.  The lives of our family are worth way more than that of an animal trying to cross the road.  I didn't swerve and the squirrel did make it to the other side.  I had slowed down a lot.

Yesterday was a hard day.  Lots of moments to reflect upon.  Lots of moments that made me think I would rather work anywhere else than in the ministry.  I would rather do anything else than that which I do and I sought the Lord hard through out the day.  I wanted this morning to arrive with me being able to have the new mercies that are promised upon the arrival of a new day,  but I could feel the old feelings of cynicism and bitterness emerging and I was angry.

Until I heard the Father speak, "Don't swerve for the squirrels."

As I sat with what He was saying I felt the reality of love surround me and strengthen me and cause me to look at the truth of the situations I was facing.  I actually love what I get to do.....  I actually really love edification and exhortation and walking with the Lord and His people.  What I hate is the enemy!  What I hate is the way the enemy plays with people's insecurities and fears and doubts about themselves, and NOW I am on a rampage!

While I can not endorse everything Marianne Williamson believes I do love this quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking

so that others won't feel unsure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in every one.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

What was hurting my heart yesterday was that by me being me and standing in the stature which the Lord has given me to stand in before Him, others were feeling insecure about the callings upon their lives.  Comparison is a killer.  A vicious killer and it doesn't swerve and it will always kill whoever gets in its path.

I paused as the events unfolded yesterday and wanted to swerve out of the way.  I don't view the Kingdom of God like a pie that is to be dived up and given out in limited measure.  IT is a vast kingdom FULL of all things.  We are all ONE body and the reality of Ephesians 4 MUST land upon us!

This is brutally hard for me.... not the desire to walk in the reality of Ephesians 4, but the reality that others might shrink back if I don't play small.... That hurts my heart more than you could imagine.  And at times I have faltered then into playing small so that others wouldn't feel unsure around me.  WHO wants that?  I certainly don't... I want you to thrive!  It matters to me that you thrive!  It matters to me that you thrive that I would swerve and get out of your way so that you would!

Except... what does that really say about me?  This morning as I was thinking about all of this, the Lord called to mind the parable of the talents.  and I knew to acknowledge that to hide who I was was NOT an option.  It can't be an option.  

So I will shout from the mountain tops that you are loved!  That you are worth everything in the heart of our Father!  That you couldn't imagine the depth of your worth to the heart of our Father if you tried because you wouldn't dare to even come close.  I will shout that you are a daughter!  I will shout that you are a son!  I will shout and shout and shout and shout and shout BUT I WILL NOT SWERVE!   I will not be deterred from following the Father as He leads my life!  But I will, at the same time, CHAMPION you on to do the same!  I will champion you!  I will exhort you to not diminish that which is upon your life because of what you perceive to be upon the life of another.....

The Lord once told me that to be successful as we moved and transitioned to Virginia I must live my life.  I must live the life He puts before me NOT the life I would think I would want, or the life others are living.  I must live my day!  I must live my journey! I must walk my path with Him.  I MUST NOT shrink  back and I should not swerve nor be deterred.   

On my best days, whether they are before a crowd of human beings or before one of my children, I am entering more and more into  living my life.  I am focused upon what it is that I am called to do and that is to LOVE GOD and LOVE HIS people......  I am an exhorter and I am not shrinking back any longer out of fear or doubt, and through His grace I will live my steps out in a way that honors Him and reflects Him to His people.  

GO AND DO THE SAME!!! LIVE... DARE  TO LIVE... DARE TO DREAM.. DARE TO BE YOU.. 

LIVE.... INVEST WHAT HE HAS PLACED WITHIN YOU!!! IT IS PRECIOUS.. AND BEAUTIFUL... IT IS HIS REFLECTION THROUGH YOU AND NO ONE BUT YOU CAN WALK THAT OUT!!

The alternative is a bit scary.... 

Matthew 25:14-30

"For it is as if a man, going on a journey, summoned his  slaves and entrusted his property to them;  to one he gave five talents, to another two, to another  one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. The one who had received the five talents went off at once  and traded with them, and made five more talents. In the same way, the one who had the two talents made two more talents. But the one who had received the one talent went off and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money. After a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. Then the one who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five more talents, saying, 'Master, you handed over to me five talents; see, I have made five more talents.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.' And the one with the two talents also came forward, saying, 'Master, you handed over to me two talents; see, I have made two more talents.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.' Then the one who had received the one talent also came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter  seed;  so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground.  Here you have what is yours.' But his master replied, 'You wicked and lazy slave! You knew, did you, that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him, and give it to the one with the ten talents. For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. As for this worthless slave, throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' 

DON'T HIDE WHO YOU ARE....................... LIVE