It doesn't take long during a session on the internet to feel like one is in Times Square during rush hour and people, and cars, and lights, and billboards, and this and that are all clamoring for attention and for you to notice them. I, just yesterday, posted this article on Facebook that ended up being one of those hoaxes. As I thought about the comments that were made, the lack of research on my part, and how I handled it I realized a lot about myself....
I don't want noise. I want relationship. I don't want 10,000 teachers or teleprompters or podcasts or webinars or whatever.. I want authenticity and a genuine sense that there is a community out there.. somewhere.. that truly cares about me.... I don't need the masses .. I don't need the crowd... I need as Jesus to did to get away with the Father... with the few...
Jim, my husband, and I had a conversation last night about his certainty that we will figure things out in life.We have been through a lot of transition. We still are going through a lot of transition. It is what life is right now... It isn't going to change. He said something at one point as I stood on our front steps choking back tears.. He said, "Let's look at the big picture. Let's look at where we want to end up." He wasn't talking tomorrow... or in a month.. He was asking that BIG picture question.
What do I want?
Well.. after 20 years plus in ministry I know what I don't want... I don't want to as put on a show, I don't want to put on an image, I don't want to put on a good face.... I know a ton of what I don't want... I don't EVER want to be like the guy who so excitedly told me that the post I posted yesterday wasn't true. I could feel that persons heart and their comment ripped the inside of me.. What preacher of a mega church would risk his position to do such a thing... It was that urban legand of a new pastor dressing up as a homeless man and entering his soon to be congregation and watching their reactions.
You see I know such a man... maybe it wasn't dressing up as a homeless person.. but I know a man who had intense favor, was growing in favor... was in a great place and then made a decision to not throw another person he cherished under the proverbial bus. I know such a man and the price that he paid for such a decision BUT regardless of the effects of the decision I would rather have lost all then to have gained through the horrific expense of another... TOO many times I have seen such things done in the hallways and green rooms and hospitality suites of ministry.
So what do I want? What are those who research things that are trending finding out?
People are tired of the noise and the spin... People are exhausted by it...
People are tired of the noise and the spin... People are exhausted by it...
I wasn't sad that I posted a fake story.. yes, do I need to do better research on these things .. probably... But in my heart the reaction was not that no one would do that... it was that is what we really need... We need to be confronted by the fact that we are blinded by the glitz and the noise and we no longer see and hear...
I want to be a Simeon or an Anna who in the midst of a crowd at a very busy temple KNEW that they were beholding the baby who was the King of kings. I don't want to partake in a flash mob of 10,000 but I want to stand quietly and mother.... develop true and strong and deep sons and daughters to my Father.. to our God.... I don't want to be liken unto those scribes whose words held no weight... I don't want to be like those pharisees who could not see the treasure in the man before them...
I want to believe that I am the kind of person .. leader .. who would watch a homeless person come into my church ... greet them.. assist them to sit wherever they would desire and love them as much as I would love and assist one who was richly dressed...
At the end of the day.. beyond any ministry.. beyond any occupation... beyond anything I ever do or say or walk in.. at the end of the day... through whatever it is that we must walk through... at the end .. the big picture is... I want to look like my Father... I want to bare the image that He breathed into me to bare... I want to be His daughter and have Him be my Father.. nothing more.. nothing less.... That is what I want....
Media trends come and go... noise hangs around always.... but real growth... real sons and daughters.. real mothers and fathers emerge from the crowds onto the battlefields and slay giants... There are many giants to be slain .. but there always have been... Quieting the noise of the crowds and stepping forward even when there is no armor that fits and all think you are crazy... is truly the only place I really know how to walk.. maybe not well... maybe not perfectly... But growing as His daughter and whispering the reality of motherhood and fatherhood into the oncoming screaming masses of noise is truly the only invitation I want to give.....
No comments:
Post a Comment