The Peripheral of my Eye ... A Gateway

The day had already been full of some extreme experiences as I settled into sitting down and writing... But unbeknown to me the most beautiful of moments was about to be embarked upon ...



Sitting in a parked car with legs hanging out the window .. Reclining in the driver's seat .. Staring at the brilliant blue sky.. The warmth of the early South Carolina evening filled the air...



Earlier I had been in BJs as Father's hand came down upon my shoulder steading me from some felt frailties ... So real a moment that I placed my hand upon the same shoulder knowing full well that my hand was resting upon the presence of His..
Leaning into that moment I could feel strength entering my body .. More than strength was the presence of love.. His love and His compassion.., the truth of His affections ... The weight of them... The reality of them.. Nothing can touch ... Those moments took the weights of sorrow.. The burdens of the moment and turned them into a sweet gladness and acknowledgement of His love...



But now sitting in the car relishing the thick warm air I was to be ushered into a reality that could have all so easily been dismissed...



"Look forward ," He said. I could see His smiling face... Knowing He was up to something but not knowing what it was I did as I was asked with a matching smile across my own face...



Standing in front of me as if I could run to Him and touch Him and embrace Him and never let Him go ... He beckoned me to stay settled where I was... Everything in me wanting to run to Him.. Everything in me reacting to the nearness of His being... My breathing racing .. My heart beating... And yet His desire was that I would still myself and linger in the moment ....



Again He spoke... "There is more for you,"
And then before I could think not to utter a complaint before the magnificence of Him... "what could possibly be more?" and I broke into sobs..



Again I wept.. "what, what... My Lord.. What could possibly be more.. More than this .. More than You?"



Sobs now racking my body... Everything in me listening to Him but everything in me yearning for Him all the same... He was there.. Within reach.. Within the capacity to hold Him and be held by Him and yet it was His truest desire for me to stay as I was and still myself ...



The look that came across only served to both weaken and strengthen my heart... In His look was an understanding of me that in its fullness was one of the most amazing things I had ever witnessed and yet a resolve so string emanated forth from Him that my soul was brought to a calm so solid and peaceful that the already warm air mingled with the warmth of His majesty and the moment became magic.... The Kingdom on earth ...



"I want you to look towards me but from the edge of your eye look away."



Within His instruction I can't fully express that which I felt.. His care for me in those moments beyond comprehension... At least mine... He was bringing forth instruction that would serve me a long time.. I could feel it... Again He, in all His wisdom... Knowing me so thoroughly.. So intimately.. Knowing what I needed from Him beyond anything.. He was instructing me for life... Life in Him..



While I yet am called to walk upon the earth I am His... Belong to Him.. Desire Him.. His citizen ... His prize .. His future bride... And I felt that .. I felt the heart of a groom instructing the one He desires to have life and love and affection...



In the moments that followed... Out of the corner of my eye... Facing Him but seeing what He desired me to see... I saw how the peripheral vision that was created within humanity was a gateway to the Home... So easily able to dismissed but if trusted and if acknowledged led the heart of the believer into the most magnificent of journeys and reality...



Facing Him but looking out of the corner of my left eye .. I saw what was better... Better to the Lord.. My Lord ... Better for me than the very lover of my soul.. Was what He came to make known...



As I looked I saw strength ... I saw fullness.... I saw Father...



"To become the bride.. My bride... You must become the daughter... His daughter... "



The roar of Heaven filled my ears... An roar? An applause ? The sound was intense .... And then it all became clear ... The "Holy... Holy... Holy" echoing throughout the chambers... Was so beyond intense I felt as though I would melt ...



But then other words... His voice sounding like thunder and yet softer than a kitten.... Compassion took form.. No longer an idea or concept but alive and full and full of form...



"you, my daughter, come forth from me.. You will come back to me... I have always known you and in knowing you.. I have always loved you ..."



Marking me as His daughter ... His presence came forth from there and lighted upon my heart and my mind and my eyes.. Branding me as His own... Covering me with His affections .. More real .. More tangible... His affections being placed upon me as a garment ... Declaring that I belonged to Him..



The declaration reverberating forth throughout all that was before me..



And I knew that I was never alone...
And I knew I would never be alone
And I knew that from the corner of my eye I would always be able to see Him... Always be able to see where I have already been seated...



Staring back at Him as He stood there and knowing how surrounded I am by all that is eternal .. I smiled and stayed my ground... For He was right... The gift He gave in those moments were beyond what I had wanted to lay ahold of ...



We smiled... He nodded... And He was gone... I thought of words that had been spoken earlier on in the day.. Of how He vanishes once we know.. Once we see...



The 16th anniversary of my biological father's death was just a couple days ago.. Those stories are long and not for here but He, my Lord, came alongside so I could hear the declarations of the One who was always.. Is always .. And will for always be my Father.... I knew that more firmly than ever before.. I was laying ahold of the reality of exactly whose I was and that which that meant.. And He had provided the door ...



I am and was and forever shall always be His daughter ... And He, my Savior... Redeemer... Friend, is the most magnificent Way.. Truth... Life... Path ..



I am loved beyond my wildest imagination... And that delights my soul...