It is only God that could have me entitle something like this season as a wonderful life.. but I do.. not even tongue in cheek... not even thinking yeah right.... This season hasn't even turned the corner... there is still a list that includes daily life with 6 kids ... moving houses.... planning conferences... getting a son to more college visits than one could think possible... and that list keeps going on and on .. dealing with changes in relationships and shifts in organization.... dealing with hard things.. busy things.. life.... stuff
But .. and that is a huge but....
There is more grace than I know what to do with.. there is more joy and more peace and more ... because I have in the depths of my being chosen to believe that that which He says is true.. it is real.. it is strong... and these things are so very temporary compared to Him
His delight pulls me into Him.. causes my eyes to arise and look towards Him and as I proceed through these days and this time I feel so much of the ways of the world falling off of me...
He invites us to die... He invites us to die so that we can live... what an invitation?!?! As He spoke you must eat of my flesh and drink of my blood..basically you must partake in my death and suffering the crowds left... they had been fed.. they had seen the dead rise.. the sick be healed.. the lame walk but upon a saying like that the crowds left....
I don't even begin to think I comprehend the weight and majesty of Him and His sacrifice... but this invitation to death is beyond comprehension.. flies in the face of all of Western culture.. and yet stands true.... by faith... by love... the flow of our life becomes sweet as we step into His death .. His sacrifice.. His nature.. His character... and then... then all of this.. these days .. these times... they are seen for what they are...
My friend teaches around the passage where Jesus knew where He was from and He knew where He was going... He shared at one point about our oldest son who knows he wants to play football in college.. He knows where he is heading and so what does he do even when on a vacation... He finds a gym and works out.. why? Because he knows where he is going.. He knows what he wants ...
Well.. I am getting a clearer and clearer picture of what I want.. I want to be like when Jesus said two statements.. The ruler of this world comes but he has nothing in me and when you have seen me you have seen my Father..... That is where I am going.... and it isn't something I am preforming or trying to attain to in the flesh.. there is no striving after this.... This is the place where I have seen a small glimmer of who it is I am.. not who I want to be.. BUT who I am.... because of Jesus.... and I am knowing even more who it is that I have believed and I am standing convinced.. convinced that He is an amazing God and I am His and that which He says is true....
The moments that have filled my life these days have shown me that the Kingdom is real and that living as Jesus would is truly the best life .. death is sweet when His life is at the other end.. and letting go of things of this world .. not just stuff but mentalities.. especially mentalities..births open eyes that see life and people as He did... I will never be the same as I emerge from this pressure cooker season... I have been awoken and spurred onto truth even more... the truth of His love and His passion....
The wellness of my soul rests upon Christ and Christ alone and in that place the beauty that erupts is powerful.. it is Kingdom.. it is of our Father.. and it is magnificent!!!
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