Walking the Passage: Waiting Patiently for the New Day Sun

Monday, February 1, 2010

Waiting Patiently for the New Day Sun

I don't know what exactly has thrown this day for a loop for me.... If it was the fact that ice on the road cancelled school or that in the afternoon Gregory fell and seriously hurt his lip..... But this day has brought with it a wind that has flustered me. My heart is stirred and my mind is full and I don't know really with what. Nap schedule has been off .... and it feels like this whole day has just run amuck.

A sense of sadness fills my heart as do worries about certain areas of my life.... What happens when you know that you know that you know that you don't know ... when you know that you don't contain the answers needed within yourself and there isn't another to go to..... I have learned that there is strength within the walls of a family. That when there are troubles it is really nice not to be alone. That comfort comes from knowing that there are other people out there that you matter to and that they stand beside you during the harder seasons of life.

Today has been one of those days where I have seen my short comings. Where my lack has been magnified in my eyes and along with it fear has entered my heart. I want to have the answers for my children as they grow... I want to empower them into life and yet I know that there are areas where I still am trying to figure it out for myself.... What happens then? What happens then? When I realize that I can't fix the issue with a hug and a band aid and a cup of hot chocolate. These are the days... this is the day when I am put to the test.

As I headed to the bathroom to give my one year old a bath great sorrow filled my heart. It felt as if the weight of the world rested upon my shoulders and I gasped for air. I looked into my daughters sweet face and thought about how I had held other babies that were now not babies and wished for moments long past.

It is wisdom that I need. So many areas exist in my life where I know that I don't have the answers. I don't know how to walk the path that is in front of me. Yet in these moments I sit and though it doesn't get any better I know that as I breath deep that the paths will unfold and the days will go on. I trust that if I ask for wisdom it will be given to me and I believe that my lacks will be provided for in mysterious ways. I am not too proud to realize that there are others in the lives of my family that step in and fill those gaps and for them I am forever grateful.....

The loneliness and sorrow ....well, maybe some days they are just par for the course. In this world we will have those things.... Learning to walk within those times and not be taken down by them but learn from them, be changed by them and know that days like these pass and the sun will rise tomorrow... Maybe some days that is just good enough... And though my lack might scream into my ear the voice of truth whispers it's strength into my heart.

Though today might have me spent it does not have me beat. When I am down I will look up and find my way and find my strength and find my breath. I will be grateful that the sun is about to set and that new mercies will be found on the wings of tomorrow. I will be grateful for my days and times for I know that though my load might seem heavy today there are those who walk with heavier burdens. I will be grateful for all that exists within my world. I will be grateful and I will wait patiently for the new day sun.

1 comment:

Unknown said...: Mims, Your writing touches me so. You are so brave and so good, despite what you may think... I love you, Miss Sis. Colleen; February 1, 2010 at 4:01 PM

Post a Comment

One of my Favorite Narnian Quotes...

“One word, Ma’am,” he said, coming back from the fire; limping because of the pain. “One word. All you’ve been saying is quite right, I shouldn’t wonder. I’m a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won’t deny any of what you said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world that makes you real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for the Overland.

A Brilliant Quote from Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking

so that others won't feel unsure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in every one.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.