wondering what puzzle was I a piece to ... God stepped forward and bore His heart

I stood in the pew... the music filled the air... and my hands gripped the back of the pew in front of me..... tears streaming down my face... questions filling my head....wonderment of the days and times ahead ....

Feeling a bit lost and out of place... wondering what puzzle was I a piece to and where did I fit....

Being in a place of surrendering... surrendering the golden cows I have made... surrendering the areas I felt I was strong in... surrendering the places where I thought I knew what to do.... surrendering all the Isaacs that I have been given... laying them upon the alter.... feeling so naked... so vulnerable... so alone... so lost

Then He was there... staring at me... and well.. I was completely and utterly left undone.... (let me clarify.... He didn't physically appear... but in every way I know Him He didn't have to... I knew He was there) Staring at me...looking at me... I attempted to utter words of repentance... repentance for a weak heart that would look back at the proverbial Egypt and long for that which was known... instead of facing all new terrains that have yet to be mapped out....

And as He silenced me and spoke I was left as a puddle... His reassurance that though I do not know the path upon which I walk it has been laid out before me... and it is certain.. it is not flimsy... it is not a possibility... it is not delicate... it is certain... and He is capable of keeping me on it...

In my frailty I know my propensity for lacking courage or determination or perseverance... but I am even more determined in these days not to quit... I might just end up dragging my weary (fill in the blank) across whatever finish line might be there but dragging... broken... weary... I go forward.... I know no other way... I can't even fish ... I have no plan B... This is it... this is all I know to do... walk with Him and be His...

God stepped in and showed me His heart... while I long for so very much to be revealed to me in regards to that which will be and the desires of my own heart ....He did show me that the puzzle that when put all together would be incomplete without my piece is my Father's heart... and wherever He brings me I belong to Him...That no matter what happens or doesn't happen in life I belong tucked away within the folds of His heart and nothing can touch me there... I am His... His daughter... His friend... I belong to Him and He makes my path straight... and strengthens me for the journey....