Having been awake for most of the night... falling asleep here and there and then waking up to the same questions... the same fears... the same concerns... the same wonderments.... instead of hitting this morning like a ton of bricks as the dawn approached a different type of questioning began.... a different type of answer came and instead of hitting this morning feeling the weight of wonderment upon my shoulders I flew to the keyboard.....
This posting is going to be different .... instead of vaguely stating about a man and a woman I am going to openly wonder and go somewhere... not for the sake of being disruptive but for the sake of healthy questioning.... for the sake of deliberately wondering out loud...
I love where the Lord has brought us to church in this season... oh for lots of reasons but primarily because the pastor will ask the questions and make the statements that one needs to.... I think so many times I have accepted sacred cows within a movement because culturally it was what we did and it worked.. well, sorta... most of the time... and so why change it... but that is it... why change it? because most its need to be looked at and challenged ... the whys we do things are important... and just because it worked in the past isn't enough of an answer....
So in my Christian walk I have been apart of two movements.... the Vineyard Christian Fellowship and Streams Ministries International.... The Vineyard and The Bridge churches were all I knew until last July....
For those of you who are familiar with those movements you will intrinsically know the proverbial DNA that I have... I love ... LOVE worship.... I love ... LOVE body ministry... praying for the sick... the whole great commission.... "doing the stuff" as John Wimber used to say.....
I love having learned about character before anointing... that titles bring entitlement... that God speaks.. and moves... and you can see, hear, feel, touch etc etc ... that there are angels and there are demons.. and there are lights, and heavenly beings, there is a great cloud of witnesses.... there are translations and transportations... that there are those things... visions... dreams... etc... etc....
Being a proverbial child of the Vineyard and Streams I dislike hype... I don't have a cultural bent towards it... it wasn't something I was ever shown... I was shown live your life ... live your life and naturally supernatural things will happen.... live your life as a Christian and supernatural things will happen and that doesn't make you special or the spiritual elite... it identifies you as a Christian.....
If God isn't doing something one shouldn't try to create a frenzy type environment just so that the attendees can get goose bumps... but I'm sorry for that last sentence for God is always doing something and the point of that correction is that if we are so longing for one thing we can very much so miss the very thing God is doing in the moment.... If we so want one manifestation than we can miss the very thing that God wants us to have because we over look it in our quest to get what we want.... whether it is God or not.....
I was on a ministry team once in the mid 90s up in Toronto.... when it was still a Vineyard... (not being careful in this post... not being careful and believe me I don't know why but I feel it this morning... ) and and while seeing some remarkable things... while seeing some incredible movements of the Father and healing and the presence... I also came across one man who wanted to roar like a lion...
yes you heard me right...
back then there was these manifestations of a roar of a lion and I won't get into that but let me say this... I at that time prayed that the Lord would manifest through him and upon him as he desired... now I would say hey if you want to roar like a lion... be released roar like a lion.. be bold.. and go for it... hey you know what... in 20 years of walking with the Lord... I have seen many things.. some God.. some not so much ... who am I to say.... BUT if you want to do something go for it.... try not to hurt yourself and definitely avoid hurting others...
I have had feelings God was doing something and was horribly wrong... and I have had feelings God was doing something and was totally right.. not going into that whole kettle of worms in this post of when do you know and how do you know... alot of it is trial and error... and you try enough times and don't give up and stay humble and admit wrong or admit you don't have all the answers... I know I know.. .that is what humble is...(hey Wimber prayed for the sick for what like 9 months before one person got healed... ) you learn what is God... what is you and still you realize that there is the in between.. the you and that which is God but the invitation ...
the other I call it... Where God is doing something and you feel it and yet the ones the invitation is going out to don't want it.... those are the hardest... because to think that you actually heard something that didn't come to pass and yet would have been God is hard... it is a tricky road... but it happens.. sometimes it happens.... What invitations from God have I not responded to? What invitations from God have you not responded to?
Well this post has gotten long and I haven't even talked about what I really wanted to talk about.... But let me put this out there... the reason I love where we go to church right now is because it is outside from where I have been.... and it truly is helping me to get where I need to go as a human being... a human being who loves God and wants to walk in truth in the inner places..... that is happening because the pastor questions everything... there isn't a sacred cow left untouched... a question left unasked... a topic that can't be addressed on a Sunday morning.... and I have learned it is GOOD to look at the sacred cows within ones life.... it is very good..
So where has this come from.... well it came from a night of posing questions because of some sacred cows being toppled.... and I am less and less afraid of the free fall as a dear dear dear dear dear friend calls it (can you tell I love that friend... I do... with all my heart.... with all my heart...)
Free fall equals... being courageous to walk away from that which one has known... having stable ground under foot... having a method to follow and a paradigm within which one operates... free fall removes some of that... ok most of that.... it says there is a new grid from which to work from.... and I am learning to find that new grid....
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