These last two posts haven't been written for the blog per se.... they are longer and have come from these times with the Father that have just been precious to me.... not categorizing the experiences for I know not how to.... but while language eludes me to express that which is happening I know Him and I know His desire to be made known......
Into the Shadow lands we venture.... things You wanted me to see....
For a good portion of the day I have sensed it right beside me..... caught glimpses of it and heard Your heart..... for a good portion of the day my being has been distraught in prayer as I want to capture Your heart...
The grayness.... the fog.... the lack of color... of life.... the absence of vibrancy and joy.... You startle me at times .. so often as of late.... the way You hunger to show... to share... to teach... to tell.... and yet there are times more often than not that I am wrecked by that which lays upon Your heart... by the way You see things... oh so different than my sight.... oh so true and so right .. but of course it is You and You always see that which is really there... but I ... I have lived in this world and am sadly of it more than I wish I were.... I realize that the way I perceive situations and reality has been tainted by the world view of man upon this place.....
Today was a stark realization of how I don't see and I don't perceive as You do and yet no condemnation exists just an invitation to see as You would and alter my world view... and in altering it... I am altered... aspects of life that I would give myself permission towards are viewed as truly less than that which I am called towards... nothing blatant ... not sin.... but lower choices.... not choosing life.... at times even choosing good but that is not where You have beckoned me to live.....
So those lands.... oh my .. my sweet Father... those lands .. that place... that which You shared has branded me... it truly altered me today... took my breath away .. made me hungry to live other.... struck me towards love and compassion.... has pulled me into prayer and had me watch those around me in such a different way....
A blah place for lack of better terminology ... but in lacking better language it almost fits the whole scenario perfectly.... there is nothing better about that place.... there is not pure light... there are buffers in every direction that protect the inhabitants from You.... or so they think.... willful and deliberate placements of walls and self protective measures to keep You at bay.... But nothing can separate us from Your love not even ourselves... and though they choose to live encapsulated within these self made prisons... Your eyes are ever upon them ... Your heart and Your affections ever being poured out over them....
So true are the words that we are all without excuse... for today I was shown how those living in darkness avoid the light... avoid seeing... distract themselves.. call the Light other things from that which it is... That there are those that ultimately will live in darkness for it is what they love... there are those that will ultimately choose darkness out of fear that their deeds will be exposed for that which they are....
As we stood there side by side and as I listened to that which You spoke of and watched how You see those walking around .. as You view those who have yet to turn towards You.. You turned towards me... and the tables turned as well.....
They live in shadows... and they don't know that which is being offered to them every moment of every day of their life.... but you, my child, you know and yet here and there and there and there... etc etc... there are shadows within you... there are places within you that you have yet to allow my light to fully penetrate... and when you live like that ... you live less than that which I have called for you to live
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