Ok... In writing this I in no way state any expertise on the subject.... but I had mentioned it in one of the sacred cow articles and tonight felt pressed upon to write a bit more on it.... This isn't a theological stance nor is it meant to be a full teaching on the subject... it is more merely the reflections and thoughts of having walked with God for two decades and seen this come about more times than I would care to mention....
I would think that the push to write this is that there are invitations out there that many are sensing and wondering about and I would like to wonder together..... wonder out loud... you know me by now if you read any of these ... that the one thing that I would never steer away from is conversation... dialogue... attempts to figure things out together....
Within the Bible the one story that jumps out at me that fits within the dialogue that I wish to have is the Israelites ... Egypt.... the promise land... 40 years... a generation dying off .... INVITATION....
There was a genuine invitation... go spy out the land... it is yours... go and look at it.. I am giving it to you... but then ... we all know the story.... 10 said no... 2 said yes... and it was 40 years wandering before purposes and intentions could go forward....
I've seen this on much much smaller scales and this aspect of life with God frightens me.... for myself... for others....
His plans in the long run could not be thwarted but ... and this is a huge point... BUT a whole generation that had seen the acts and deliverance of God would never step foot into the promises that they had received..... they would die in the wilderness.....
I don't want to die in the wilderness.... I don't want fear or regret... I don't want to wander around and look at the horizon and wonder about the what ifs.... what if I had been bold enough... brave enough.... had enough faith...
I have seen and felt what the missing of an invitation feels like.... I have lived years with this aimless waiting upon my person... and when I sought God about things I wondered about ... I sadly realized that I was living through a season of missed opportunities..... I was living through a season of a missed invitation.... and it was as a wilderness......
Now I used my wilderness times to learn what it is to lean... but there was a danger amidst them for a heart to be made hard.... while I don't lean perfectly I attempt to lean much more these days than I ever have.... I just don't want to say anything but yes to an invitation from God....
There are so many aspects to this that one could venture down... and I just slightly open the door at this point to open discussion...
It is painful... it is painful because there are several aspects of this that one has no control over...
what do I mean?
There were two spies that said this is doable and it is doable now... and while the forty years brought to pass growth and maturity into them ... taught them about the wilderness.... they wandered with those who had said no to the invitation..
I think the wilderness teaches many things...
one of the things it has taught me is that I would rather face the giants then wander... I would rather see God move on my behalf and move forward than live in limbo....
I would rather make the scary decision to try than to default into safety....
God provides either way... the nation truly did wander in the wilderness ... they were fed and they lived lives in the wilderness and they died in the wilderness....
I would rather die fighting in the promises of God than die in the sands of the desert staring off at the horizon of a land that was mine but I never walked in...
I have lived seasons in bewilderment because of invitations not heeded .. times have had to come and go... seasons have had to pass....
Yes... there are giants in the land.... yes there are unknowns ... yes there are roads not traveled.... my friend recently had a dream and (please forgive me friend for I don't know if I will write this right) in the dream for my friend to get to the place she was to go she had to look at the road that was not there ... How does one do that... look at the road that is not there... but you know what? When she shared that I got it.... and it resounded so deeply within me.... The road was steep ... straight up and she was to drive up it in her van.... but to do so she needed to look at the road that was not there.....
Lewis and Clark have been in my mind and my wonderings much these days.... they had no road.... they had no path... they made it.... the road that is not there..... that is the invitation .... right now... I don't know what it means... I don't hold back and I don't tease.... revelation isn't for that... I simply only know in part... but this part... this looking to the road that is not there yet... is crucial... it is crucial...
I would rather die in the promised land fighting the giants ... holding fast to that which God said and says then go one more lap in the wilderness..... I just can't do any less any more.... thank you dearest friend for sharing your dream for it is life and liberty and here is to toasting with you to the road that is not there yet... I look to her (the road that is not there)... I look to Him ( God who always is)... I look with you ( my dearest friend and all)... here is to the drive up the vertical
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