Me? All I do is follow His lead.. well maybe not all but well yes maybe all

I sit here tonight and I have sat in peace and stillness and quietness and confidence and trust... I have felt the essence of Psalm 131 upon my soul and have relished in its truth...

O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
O Israel, hope in the LORD
From this time forth and forever.

I can look one way or I can look another... I can make choices that rob me of a peace that is mine to have and to hold or I can relinquish that hold to things that are so much less than...

Oh dear friends I wonder about so very much these days... I wonder about things of the earth and things of the heavens... I wonder about God and His Kingdom and that which He encompasses and I wonder about the earth and her ways and that which walks upon her...

The discrepancy is vast... and as I write I feel it within the depth of all that I am...

My friends I ponder and I have waited and I have longed for and I have hungered and I have waited some more... I can but barely move tonight... I have sat and sat and yet not felt to get up... and not truly known what it was to do... oh you might say just get up... and I know I could have.. but tonight I feel like I have learned something about waiting upon the Lord and not rushing in...

I have sat here in front of a blank screen for close to three hours.. and started to write and erased.. and started to write and erased... more than several times has that process been gone through.... got to the end of what I thought only to delete it all....

But I waited.. because He is the reason this blog is worth reading.... He is that which beckons me to come and sit and linger and write and write and erase and seek and wait... and then in all of that it is He and I doing that waltz again.. .Me all I do is follow His lead ..

I know that I can go and do.. I know that in my own strength and wisdom I could accomplish but to what end..... towers of babel are falling every day... houses not built for the Lord crumble in plain sight....

I will wait upon the Lord... and I will follow Him.... I have no other thing I can do.... that which I desire to see I can't make happen... that which I long to watch Him do is so not about me that all I can do is wait.... but that isn't fully true... because I can abide in all the truths that exist for those that wait for Him... I believe that He is all that He is... and I believe He is not slow in keeping His promises... I don't need for the Kingdom of God to manifest upon the earth to believe... I hunger for the presence of my Father to arise because when it does things are set right....

Whether simple or not where I find myself these days is not in a whiny way but in a way that says you are worth waiting upon.. whether it is tomorrow or 90 years from tomorrow ... He is worth waiting upon.... He is worth following wherever He desires for me to go.. and while I ask of Him and seek Him actively.. I wait upon Him and rest...

So much that is pursued won't matter in the long run.. so in the long run I would rather have it matter...

Nothing profound and nothing so risky tonight... nothing heartwretchingly vulnerable or transparent.. again just the girl who is in love with her God.. and who lingers and waits upon Him ...