This morning I was reminded about how when I first started walking with the Lord someone once told me about reading five psalms and one proverb a day will take you through both books every month and that was a good idea.... Having not done this task in a long time I decided I would start today... so not being so great at math I took the calculator from my Iphone and figured out which psalm to start with....
I landed on Psalm 140 (I am sure a good majority of you wouldn't have needed the calculator but I did..) I read from Psalms 140-145 and my mind went to many places...
In Psalm 145 the passages that spoke of the graciousness of our Lord and His mercy and His slow ways towards anger and His great lovingkindness poured off the page into my heart.... As I continued to read about how all His works would give Him thanks and how they would speak of the glory of His Kingdom and talk of His power... I sat in quiet awe of who He is .....
Then I got to verse 14 and read how the Lord sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down.... how as the verses in the Psalm continue we read about how He satisfies the desire of every living thing and how He is near to all who call upon Him and how He keeps all who love Him....
It threw me back to the verses that I had read in the opening of Psalm 140... when into my thoughts entered times past and knowledge that I wish I did not possess....
The opening verses of Psalm 140 speak of "violent men who devise evil things in their hearts," how they "continually stir up wars," and "Sharpen their tongues as a serpent," and how poison of a viper is under their lips." In the metaphoric world their tongues are full of lies and the poison that lies spread.
I am so very grateful to where the Lord has brought me... how He truly has restored my heart to a place of hope and joy and innocence... How while I can't erase from my mind the things I have seen or the ways I know people to have acted I do know this that there isn't anything worth hardening my heart over..... I can hand people my peace on a platter or I can set my mind on Christ and allow Him to keep me in perfect peace...
But here is the one thing that has stirred in my heart all day.... how God's ways are so not the ways of men... and how they are so much higher than... Other truths have played upon my heart today how the Lord is not a respector of persons and how all people both young and old, rich and poor, and weak and strong will all bow before Him.....
Today I thought about the hierarchical nature of the world... and how that has filled the church and Christian ministries.... people define themselves by which rung on the ladder they perceive themselves to be upon and allow other's thoughts and opinions to dictate and determine their worth... In so receiving there is also the more than abundant temptation to keep their rung "safe" at all costs....
I have seen great ugliness... I have watched as leaders have thrown their weight around and threatened to not show up again at this place or that if this person or that person was there or was interviewed. It isn't always the behavior of the leader that I find the craziest... what I find interesting is how those threats are received.... people who were invited are uninvited and life just goes on .. Really?!?! I have seen people kow tow to the whims and fancies of men... and I have thought about how I had even allowed silliness into my heart....
We are told to be "aware of the scribes who like to walk around in long robes, and like respectful greetings in the market places, and chief seats in the synagogues and places of honor at banquets, who devour widow's houses and for appearance's sake ofer long prayers..." that is in the gospel of Mark...
And in Matthew 6 we read:
"Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding. "When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. You've seen them in action, I'm sure—'playactors' I call them— treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out. "And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?"
We aren't to regard ourselves according to the ways of the world.... receiving the standards or judgements of others...
There was a time when I acted so foolishly.... I allowed the thoughts and opinions and favor or lack of it to determine self worth... I allowed others a destructive voice in my head and in my heart.... I thought it oh so important to be invited into places and rooms.... Today as I read from psalm 140 to 145 I was brought through a journey of where I had been and where I have been brought to... and gratitude just filled me and overwhelmed me....
Gratitude for the things I have seen and where I have been brought to ... self made prisons that have been exited and a deep desire to walk forward within the Glory of God.. His thoughts and His opinions dictating who I am and nothing less.... His ways are not our ways... they are so much higher... so much better... so much more full of life.... they aren't games to be played... they are solid ways of living that bring forth life everlasting and an unmeasurable love that knows no end...
I have seen dark sides of men but I have seen the light of Lord and the land of the living...
A journey through 5 psalms today brought me past roads I have walked and into new life... new liberty... new joy.. new strength...
I cried out to You, O LORD;
I said, “You are my refuge,
My portion in the land of the living.
“Give heed to my cry,
For I am brought very low;
Deliver me from my persecutors,
For they are too strong for me.
“Bring my soul out of prison,
So that I may give thanks to Your name;
The righteous will surround me,
For You will deal bountifully with me.”
Psalm 142:5-7
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