It is always a mountain ... the question is then is it ominous or is it melting like wax
There is much stirring in my heart and mind over the concept of fear and perfect love and destiny.... and I think I will end up staying in this place for a few more posts.... certainly if these articles are tapping into any questions that you may have or a friend may have please feel free to ask....
I had this vision and within it I saw two mountains... the first mountain was set upon a beautiful scene... the sky was a magnificent shade of blue... the grass surrounding it was lush and green.. just the most picturesque vision of a mountain... and within that moment I knew two things... I knew that that mountain would melt like wax before the Lord and that that mountain could be transversed....
Then the picture was of a mountain and it looked huge and foreboding ... the atmosphere was dark and grey scale tones and the sky was menacing and looming and intimidating ... the whole scene looked like something I didn't even want to touch let alone climb.....
Then I felt the Lord speak into my life... I felt Him say that it was all one and the same mountain ... but my perspective was different.... while I could believe for this one set of things to come to pass and that situations and scenarios would play themselves out before the Lord and that there could be nothing that would arise to hinder me there was/were/are other situations and scenarios that terrify me to even look at ... let alone venture towards.... or believe for....
I am rarely timid... but I do succumb to fear... I have tried to be one that rarely shrinks back and yet there is a caution within me not born forth from wisdom but from pain and rejection.... from failure and from disappointment..... instead of yelling forth that there are giants in the land but God is on our side I consider those giants and the cost of yelling forth God is on our side....
At least I have ... but I am emerging again..... emerging away from timidity and fear....
Fear is such a factor....
Sometimes more and sometimes less but it remains in my life as a mountain that I must overcome on a regular basis....
I think of Abraham's lies and Peter's denial and I see that which lead both men to those places and I see a propensity within myself towards both of those things and I am saddened..... I want to be the one walking on water... I want to be the one laying Isaac on the alter... I want to be the one when everyone else has gone away I want to be found at the cross or at the tomb .... waiting.. believing ... hoping....
So what do I do?
What do I do when fear is as tangible or even more so than faith?
I try to lay myself down these days more and more within the presence of perfect love.... finding that as perfect love makes its way within the recesses of my being it bypasses sin and doubt and fear... It births courage within my soul and helps me stand complete.....
Perfect love is the only way up or through either mountain... perfect love directs... corrects... strengths... and guides.... perfect love knows the best path and the best way and it can always be trusted... as it always protects....
So fear still has the capacity to be around the corner... but I am learning to stand in the shadow of Perfect love and its rays and its brilliance cast all else away..............
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