Within side of you is a story... a song... a voice... I long to hear.... Let not another tune it out... Let not another quiet it or alter it in a way that isn't uniquely yours... Find it for it is your gift to bring

There are so many things that I do not know how to do... So many things that just don't come natural at all.... There are those things in my life that bring me to my knees because I just have the wisdom or experience that I need to navigate the places that I find myself in...

Last night I heard of another who had said words exactly like those that had resided in my heart.... and I sat there thinking maybe I am not the only one when looking at a child of mine wonder and question.... I question my capacity to nurture and raise and bring into maturity some of my children... I see my lack and I wonder how is this going to happen... How are they going to find their voice... their footing... their way.....

So I have used that which I know.... I admit my lack to my children... no I am not having deep philosophical questions with my two or four year olds.... those guys are the easy ones... I might have to run after them... be awake with them... go without sleep or time with them but they are the easy ones....

But a few weeks back I found myself purposefully bringing my oldest daughter outside to the driveway and we sat ... and we sat... and I told her how much I loved her... and how precious she was to me... and I told her that she has a voice that we have to discover and that I am not always sure how to help her do that... except to tell her how I found mine..... I told her that when looking at things in life that we don't quite know how to do... we need to give speech to the voice inside us... we need to acknowledge that we can't see and we don't know and we need to talk about how that feels....

I told her that I don't always know my way around all the circumstances of our life together as a large family and that I wanted her to know that she is not ever a burden or in the way...... She is in the middle... there are boys older than her and two toddlers younger... she is not the oldest... she is not the youngest but I am determined she not get lost and that her voice triumphs... I didn't want to over share but I so didn't want to leave her in the dark either...

and so....

We started a journal together and I taught her how in a scenario as one like the one of us on the driveway one would find their voice...... I spoke my story of our time together with my thoughts and my impressions and then I asked her to do the same.....
The Father is wooing me into this time of seeing..... and I wanted my daughter to know that I see her and that I am seen by her..... I wanted her to taste that which I am tasting as I become more the "me" that I am becoming and challenge her to become the "her" that she is becoming and to become.....

My telling of our tale went like this.... "I watch her... I watch her as she becomes this most beautiful creature... she is growing so tall and so big that I times I am afraid to blink because I am afraid that within those seconds my eyes are closed she will have changed even more in front of me.... I have thought about her for days now.. and I have prayed and asked God to help me and give me wisdom... I have this treasure in front of me and I so long to propel her into all that she is to become.... I might not always know my way but I know that we are being led into something and I need to trust.....

So I took her by the hand and led her to the driveway where we watched the clouds go by and we and simply held hands and chatted away..... I looked into her bright blue eyes and I expressed to her my heart and that I was weak in some areas but we serve a very strong God and that He was going to lead us upon the path that He had for us and lead her upon the path that He had for her......

We paused after I was done and I turned and I looked at her and I said your turn.... take a moment... collect your thoughts and share your heart.... AND SHE DID.....

Becoming isn't easy... there are so many challenges before us all.... Times that fear and wonderment about the future leave us wanting.... doubts that scream into our ears and our beings about who it is we think we are becoming or who we think we are...... but upon this journey we must walk.... We must find our way through and navigate the way around those obstacles to faith and courage and freedom and plot a route with determination that we are going to get there.....

We are promised that He who began a good work within us will see it to completion and that asking for bread we will not be given a stone.... So journey upon your journey... against all the twists and turns and between all the obstacles you will find the greatest treasure ... You will unearth the you you were always meant to be..........