I went to lay down for a few seconds... babies fell asleep and kids aren't home from school yet so I thought ... ah my God... some time... some quiet time for us... and I laid down on the sofa... and He brought forth thoughts of what is going on with our oldest son....
Proud mom moment.... Our oldest is only a sophomore and yet is already being looked at by some pretty incredible colleges.... in just the last list the names of those that are looking academically are some of the top in the country....
In that moment of being peacefully with the Lord I knew where He was leading and this is just it.... I am not saddened by sons successes... they don't cause me to think less of myself... they don't have me wondering what lacked in me that I couldn't have had those opportunities.... I don't think myself less than when I can't help another one of my children with their math work and yet my oldest son can.... I am just thankful that we are a family and that each member has their part to play and that I can lean on the strengths of another in the areas that I am weak in.....
I am so excited for all my children and the different doors that open to each of them.... I watch them as they enter into the world and see the human beings they are becoming and to think I had some role in that ... in their becoming just brings me joy... they are becoming more and taking their first flights of success and I couldn't be happier for them all.......
My children spur me on to be a better human being.... I want to be better at loving because of them... I want to be more submitted to God as to show them as genuine of a walk with the Lord as I can possibly show them.... I want to be all that I can be for them so that they can grow, and climb, and jump and soar... and the list could go on and on......
In two years I will taste for the first time what it feels like to watch as one takes a huge leap towards their future.... and for those of you who know me you know my journey upon this road even started three years ago... I guess God realized that He had to take a long time to prepare my heart for that which is coming... but it has been an incredible process and I have learned so much from it already and am sure that I will learn even more as the time draws near and as I walk into that time......
I have spent years pouring my life into my children... years of nights lacking sleep... years of going without so that they could have... years of .......... fill in the blank..... but why? Did I do it? We had children..... so that they could grow and become.... we pour our lives into them so that they can have the best possible foundation that we could give them..... They are a part of my husband and a part of me and they bear our images and they have within them the image of God as well... it is such an awe inspiring thing......
I am watching as my children grow taller than me... smarter than me... but I am watching..... and I know my role in their lives will change but I will always be their mom.... and I know that my job is to equip them and guide them and lead them and hope that they will become all that they can become...... and in so doing I get to watch something I had a part in flourish....
As it is in the natural so it is in the spirit and there are fathers and mothers out there that walk the Kingdom roads doing this amazingly well.... and then there are others who aren't able to rejoice in the knowledge that they had some huge part to play in the development of sons and daughters and now those sons and daughters are flourishing because of all that was given......
Out of love and affection and pride I have watched as my oldest son has smiled at his father and I have seen that which gleams in his eyes as he looks at his dad and I.... I know I am loved.. I know that I am valued .. I know that he cherishes us as his parents... I know he has seen us at our worst and he has seen us at our best and he has learned from both....
The main thing is I wish for all my children is this.... that they will pull from me all that they need that I have and that they would learn from my weaknesses and my strengths ... my successes and my failures.... and that they would become ALL that they were meant to be... and as they pass me physically in height... that they would pass me in all areas of life.... that they would pursue God more... that they would know Him better... that they would live great lives full of freedom and joy and love and strength... and that they would know that no matter what good or bad ... that they have parents rooting for them and cheering them on....
As we do that in the natural... may we do that in the spirit.... to the advancement of our Kingdom..... and to the Body and looking ahead towards the day when the Bride stands in full stature and we all stand side by side facing the one who loves us all so very well......
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