So I woke up in the middle of the night... I had fallen asleep on the sofa and Gregory had gotten up.... got back settled into bed.... As I lay there getting comfortable and drifting back off to sleep I heard something that startled and terrified me ..... I'm used to hearing things with my spirit and trying to get used to hearing things in other ways.... but this ... this was fully audible... and my thoughts did not go to any thought that would have brought peace and would have said it was just something in the spirit.....
I heard knives.. knives sharpening against one another... and the steel upon steel sound sent terror throughout my being.... Something you need to know about me is that I don't watch shows like Criminal Minds or whatever title you want to put upon those tv shows like that.... I don't watch horror movies.. or serial killer movies or whatever you want to call them.... I am not making any statement about them ... those images are too real for me.. I can't watch them... I wouldn't be able to shake them and they would only serve to disrupt my being....
So I heard knives sharpening against one another... steel upon steel and while there were lots of first thoughts to probably have the ones I had were the following... read them..... because once I understood that this was the Lord.... these thoughts took on a whole other level of meaning....
Someone was in our home.. our home... and this was the sound that they made before killing their victims..... someone was in our home and sharpening their knives and they were going to sharpen their knives in front of us and then they were going to cut us and harm us and kill us and hurt our children.....
I thought of two of our sons who aren't home and I thought of what it would be like for them if this was really what was happening....
Listen I realize that I am now typing this.... and I can actually sit with the lights off and not be startled by every single noise... but over an hour ago... I heard this sound and then our dog started to bark and I was gripped with the fear of it...
But I am glad that that was so....... because as I turned lights on and walked around the house turning lights on and praying and thinking and then getting back into bed.... the emotion of the whole event was truly upon me..... And I am glad ... I am glad I was gripped with horror and terror... I am glad that it stills lays oh so heavy upon my chest... I am glad because I now have a very intense picture of what it is like to not watch our words.... and to turn them against one another.......
Call it over active imagination.... Call it God giving me a incredibly detailed picture of that which our words do.....Call it whatever you will... the next paragraph gets slightly graphic as I share one of the images that lodged within my heart..... Because in the moments between not knowing what was going on and realizing what the Lord was doing and saying.... images beyond horrific played upon my heart and my mind.... Now I know to look at them through the lens of the metaphor which actually doesn't help..... and only really makes it worse because understanding was added to sight and sound and it only breaks my heart....
Let's just start at what one would think would be the small and not wrong usage of our words against a fellow child of God and against the one that would be our brother and sister for all eternity... just putting into light who it is you are talking about.....................
So one picture I had was of watching as a parent an intruder take a hold of my youngest son and run a sharpened knife ever so gently but with enough pressure against the top of his sweet little arm... enough of a cut so as to hurt... enough of a cut to send terror into the heart because this was going to be slow.... this was going to not just be death... this was going to be a slow brutal process of bit by bit and little by little tearing my son apart....Cutting his flesh open bit by bit... until his screams and his blood swirled around in a picture that still has a death hold grip of my heart......... THAT IS WHAT YOUR SMALL WORDS AGAINST A BROTHER LOOK LIKE IN THE SPIRIT AND I AM PISSED OFF THAT I HAVE TO SEE SUCH AN IMAGE... because it is staying with me.. I LOVE MY SON... I,Mims, love my son... BUT can you hear the FATHER saying that as well ... PLEASE DO ... please hear him roaring it... HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN and your words are slowly killing your brother and your sister and your Father's child........
Over active imagination or the Father laying upon my heart that which words do to one another.... I don't care what you call it.. the imagery is horrific and won't leave my heart alone and it is brutal....
Those "conversations" with just your closest friend or in the back green rooms or hospitality suites...
What do you think your words are doing in the spirit?
I can tell you what your words are doing.... they are not being used as iron against iron should be used...... they are being used to slash and to maim and to cut and to kill... and to leave your brother or your sister... uhm no let's once again say Father's child... cut apart and bleeding ... and oh if they heal... there are scars ... and they are ugly.... they have altered the appearance of a child of God as a knife against ones face slashing and slashing it until even the best of plastic surgeons couldn't repair it fully...
We have with our words altered the ways our family looks... we have brazenly and stupidly used our words to bring great harm to those we are called to love....
I was brought to a place of utter terror tonight... as I laid in bed thinking of what it would mean as a parent to have to watch some form of horrific torture played out upon my children.. I thought of what it would mean if they survived it... what would it mean for their hearts... what would it mean for their lives.... the way they perceived life....
And as I think of it all now in terms of metaphor it doesn't ease the pain or horror in my heart one iota.... because I realize that my Father watches as His children play these scenarios out upon one another time and time and time again..... and it leaves those in its wake barely surviving ... cuts all upon their person... gashes into their arms and their legs and faces... blood dripping from all the wounds...
Our words bring life or death.... wholeness or brutal savagery ....
There are no little words of death... there are no little words ... they all cut the flesh and leave one's person ripped apart...
And the questions exist for their lives.... in more ways than one...
what does it mean if they survived it... what would it mean for their hearts... what would it mean for their lives.... the way they perceived life....
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