Blinded to all else but that which the Father would see... Oh what a glorious thought.....

I have a husband who brings out the absolute best in me... I am a better person because of his love and his challenges within my life...... I am more passionate about God... I am more resolved to follow after Him not as I would but as He would have me.... Jim confronts my mediocrity and fear with a passion and sensitivity that births out of it true life and for all of that I am so truly grateful....

So why? Why do I begin this note talking about Jim?

It is because something he recently said is like a pinpong ball within my very being and it is hitting all sorts of things in me and challenging me to go further... to go deeper... to see more as Christ would see and not as I would or as the world would....

So what was it that he said?

Well, he was speaking about how one person in a particular situation acted more out of self interest than in the interests of a friend..... The world would say that is completely normal... Heck, there are even people who would either applaud that situation or atleast grant approval..... and yet.... and yet we are not of this world... our thoughts and our ways need to be higher ... and our lives need to be soaked within the aroma of love and affection.....Love does not seek its own....

Let's look at it another way.... Who wouldn't want to be counted in the number of those that Jesus choose to linger by His side? When he was walking and performing great miracles... feeding the poor... healing the sick... the crowds gathered... the multitudes hung on every word.... Of course within that number even then were those that stood within for motivations that dealt more with self... more with "what do I benefit from this" mentality..... How about other scenes... How about when Jesus spoke about that one must eat of His flesh and drink of His blood and the multitudes left? How about when Jesus sat in the garden of gethesame? How about when Jesus was being brought before His accusers? How about when Jesus was dying upon the cross?

My husband challenges me through the way he lives his life .... so focused on how God perceives him or a situation that he doesn't allow himself to act in the "what abouts?" The what about what that might cost me... The what about what if I lose out... The what abouts..... He doesn't do it... He doesn't play a politically correct company line as to promote himself or his side.... I think at times he doesn't even have a personal side..... He attempts to find that which God is saying and doing and does it... I am not there... I do consider (although less and less) what things mean.... we have paid the costs in the past... lost friendships... lost favor..... I do seek my own... I am selfish.... I don't always right the wrong.....

But... and I love this but... I am learning to..... I am being propelled towards this person that I have always hoped I would be... my eyes are being blinded by love... blinded by a Father... a savior... to all else that would have me question the "what abouts"..... The only what about I want to ask is "What about the Father's heart?" What about what He would have me do? What about how He would want me to see this person, this situation.... His ways are so much higher... so much greater and they are beautiful and life giving and glorious... and I am so much richer for following His ways and thinking His thoughts.....


I want to be the person that admist accusations would sit and recline at Jesus' side... I want to be the person who sees beyond fault and accusation and sees that which the Father sees and does that which the Father would do... I don't want to be the person that has to be chastized by Christ because I hold a stone ... I want to be saying "woman where are your accusers..." I don't want to be the person denying the lover of my soul when confronted by anything... temptation... accusation... frailty... I want to look into the other's face and stand ... and declare that yes.. indeed... yes He is my Lord....

But I want to the person who one doesn't even have to ask do you know this man, Jesus.... Aren't you a follower of His? I want by my countenace... I want by my life ... I want to so be full of His frangrance that as it spills out of me ... it is apparent.... I want my life to be so saturated within His beauty that I no longer... absolutely... no longer live but He ... glorious... beautiful Him... lives His life through my person..... That is the the person I want to be... dead to myself... alive to Christ... eyes seeing as He sees... Heart beating as His beats... Hands healing as His heal.... Life being lived as His was lived and still continues to be done so....


Ever so thankful for a husband who leads the way..... who teaches me about courage... who affirms me in my weaknesses and loves me always... what was that command... Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church.... ah.. yes... well, sweet husband... you love me well... your love calls me into all that I am to become... You are a beautiful example of Christ loving the church into her truest identity as the Bride... so glad to be yours......