There are some things about being “the
mom” in this season of life that have had my heart wish at times I
was more. (Here is our story about what being "the mom" and that journey have been about.. https://www.facebook.com/ImthemomandIhaveavoice) Wish I was an educator so that I could more fully
understand the system and know better how to navigate it, wish I was
a lawyer so that I could more fully understand the law and what it
says, all that wishing and all that apparent lack.
Then this morning as I thought through
the last weeks and months that have passed I thought of something I
read this week. A friend was posting a quote and in it it was talked
about changing the life in front of you.
I have stayed up night after night
researching and reading and researching more and reading more all
about bullying, anti-bullying, programs that are offered, the dangers
and once thought benefits of no-tolerance policies; reading and
researching and reading some more. Last night as I read an article
something within the words expressed captured my heart and within
those words I recognized myself.
Amidst all the thinking of what I
wasn't and all the wishing to be more then what I was I realized I
came to the table with what I come to the table every day. From the
way I live my life to the way I parent to the way I see people, I
look at the heart. To see people, to value people, to care about
them, to think about them, to honor them, to uphold them, to cherish
them... These are qualities I try to live forward and when
encountered with events that are contrary I try to find my way back
to that place where they continue to reverberate within the depths of
my being.
I thought about times when my children
in the past were struggling with being bullied or having unkind
things said to them I would talk about the other person. I would ask
them to think about what type of person does things like this or says
things like this, I would ask them to think about that person's
heart.
I would ask them to think about what
and why another human being would act in a way that would bring harm
to someone. I would express to them that maybe that person is angry
about things, or hurting, or scared too and while that never made
anything “right” I wanted my kids to be always thinking about
others. Even if a person just acted in a rash manner without larger
issues behind such behavior I would talk to the kids about how
important it is to no matter what take responsibility for their
actions and walk in such a way that would have dignity and grace.
These events of October 10th
keep reverberating deeper and deeper within consolidating who it is
that I am and who it is that I will continue to be. I am the mom and
I have a voice. Having a voice means speaking up and not just
looking the other way. It means taking deep breaths and walking
forward even when the road seems covered in a fog so thick you can
not even barely see the next step in front of you, it means that it
is better and worth the effort to say something and to share then to
live in fear and doubt and pain.
It isn't just being a mom or a woman.
It is about being a human being and valuing life and joy and beauty
and kindness and generosity of spirit. We all have voices. As we
speak we form an amazing choir. One voice inspires another voice
that inspires another voice and soon we are moving mountains
together!
A woman approached me yesterday in a
gas station parking lot, she was in need.. we talked and as we did I
looked at her.. her situation opening doors to shame and
embarrassment into her heart. I saw a beautiful woman in front of me
whose situations in life were stealing her capacity to know that she
is beautiful and full of value. I spoke to her of those very things
and shared how we all need each other and how really not much
separates us at all.
I don't know if I will ever see that
woman again but as I left our interaction I thought that is what it
is about.... Helping and loving the one in front of you and speaking
truth into the lives and hearts of people. Using our voices and our
actions.. our very lives... to bring life and comfort and joy into
that person who is right in front of us...
So while I started wishing I was this or that.. wishing I was more.. I realized what I was and already have been. Whether it is our son and raising
awareness about how hate does not get to have the last say and how
school districts need to change or it is stepping out and speaking up
about whatever the day may ask of me that I do. I have journeyed
upon a road that has shown when transparency and vulnerability are
given a place and a voice lives change, hearts are healed and people
soar.... How can I not walk that path...
How can we all not walk that path....
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