Walking the Passage: You are My Home

Saturday, October 23, 2010

You are My Home

As the story goes my husband’s family has lived on the same piece of land since the French and Indian War. In Middletown, NY on Kirbytown rd and they are the Kirbys. My mother in law has lived on the same road all her life. I grew up in and around the cities of the North living here and there… 18 months one place and up to 5 years another. When I calculate the moves I have done with Jim they are numerous. From coast to coast and up and down the East coast we have moved nine times within six states.

Besides my husband’s family I know of several families who have spent their lifetimes in one place… and while I am appreciative for all the experiences we have had in all our times and places I have a whimsical thought life as it pertains to place and history with a place and people. I think about the roads I know that exist within New Jersey .. oh so close to The City… I think of the FDR or the roads in and around Boston… I think of the highways that run North to South and have brought us here to Fort Mill and carry us home to the Northeast. I think of streets where houses that we have lived in exist and the neighborhoods where my memories float on the wind.

We have been in the Fort Mill area now for over four years and I love that there is now a familiar tone to roads that I have traveled….. Knowing short cuts or which road cuts in where and making decisions on which one way of many I should go…..

Why this trip down this road this morning…..

There are places and people where we are the most of who we are when we stand in and among them…… and yet I feel a push to transcend all that would be comfortable … all that would be cherished and familiar …. I feel a request upon my life towards transparency and a push towards having a heart unshielded by any guard…. Not a reckless place nor a place that has no boundaries but a request upon my very being to walk unshielded and unguarded… to live in the moment, as if surrounded by those whose love for me has history, all the time. And while I feel like I have journeyed into this land of trust and transparency I can feel the Father and see Him gently shaking His head and know that truly I have not….

I have measured my risks…. I have contemplated my openness…. I have chosen to choose transparency in moments but I have not lived there… I know what it feels like when I know I am surrounded by those whose love for me brings me into a place where the truest of who I am flies upon the winds and wings of freedom and I am who I was always made to me……

Love generously without self protection… without care to other’s thoughts or opinions or guesses on motive or person…… The Father asking me to launch into a life that sees Him and knows that at every moment I am surrounded by His arms and His wings and at every moment I am in the place of being truly loved more than I could ever imagine… that because I walk with Him I am never in an unfamiliar place… because I reside in His shadow I am always home….. He is calling me to life as a daughter….. and nothing more….. to live every moment within the reality of my identity in Him and to trust His love that blankets me and creates a warmth and familiarity that pushes me towards all that I am to be…

May I have the courage to walk here dearest Father….. grant me the courage to only have eyes for you and to know that in every moment I am surrounded by a love so vast and so strong and so capable that of course I am safe … and of course I am surrounded by familiar You….. You who know me so intricately… and love me so well….. I do not do this yet …. I do shield and protect and watch and wait and linger… but Father… Your wooing is pulling me in and towards Your heart I journey…

I love you Lord… You are only ever so good to me ….. I love Your smile and Your delight…. They cause me to rise up as on wings of eagles and take flight upon the winds of Your presence….. where we dance and dance and dance together every step of this life while time and eternity have us sometimes physically apart there is never a breathe that actually has us separate… You are to me All….. You are my place… My history.. My road that I have lived upon.. You are my home… You are my forever home

1 comment:

Molly Patterson said...: All I want to do after reading this is take a deep clear breath and say "ahhhhhh".....
This is such a good and true and real word friend. You are more transparent than you realize. You are more home than you know. Look around and see it, learn to dwell in it. It's His heart for you... it's our home.; October 23, 2010 at 9:27 AM

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One of my Favorite Narnian Quotes...

“One word, Ma’am,” he said, coming back from the fire; limping because of the pain. “One word. All you’ve been saying is quite right, I shouldn’t wonder. I’m a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won’t deny any of what you said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world that makes you real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for the Overland.

A Brilliant Quote from Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking

so that others won't feel unsure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in every one.

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.