At the very thought of you a smile forms upon my face and the recollection of our conversation earlier fills me with a warmth and fullness that only continues to form that smile…..
You said that there would have been days… whole seasons that if I had known where your house was I would have been on the opposite side of the continent… or as far away from it as I could manage to get myself…. The delight in your voice as you told me how you viewed this occasion startled me and only caused me to love you all the more.
I had come on my own…. Past the trees and the woods that led up to the pathway…. And having approached that pathway with the glittering white stones I paused… I paused to look up and beyond the path… beyond the front lawns lay your house….. I stood there and stood there and looked….. It was your house….. Your home … and you were there…… I steadied myself as to not run but brought my pace up to a brisk .. very brisk walk…… smiling the whole way up to the door… I loved this door…
The big old wooden door…… There had been so many times where I had stood there and not gone in …. so many times I stood there only to then sit down upon the entrance way ……. This time my hand just so naturally slipped to the handle and I pushed the door open…. I was home…. I didn’t even put my stuff down purposefully… didn’t even make sure that it was neatly placed anywhere… my backpack just slid off my shoulder and onto the floor as my eyes made their way over to the stairwell….. I belonged… this was my home and I knew it….. with everything that was within me … I knew it…. Again I just paused… and stood… swallowed…. And went forward reaching for the banister that led up to the room where I knew you would be…..
I took the steps and thoughts of you filled my heart with utter delight…. I closed my eyes and that smile upon my face seemed like it was glued there and only continued to get bigger and bigger…. The solid joy that filled my heart at the thought of looking into your eyes amazingly overwhelmed me….
And then… then I was at your door…. .. It was just slightly ajar… and through it I peeked and could see the edge of your desk….. and the thought of seeing you in just a mere second filled the core of everything I am and as I entered your room…. You turned… locking eyes I melted… and your love coursed over me and your joy shattered me and I knew I was yours…. And the sense of wholeness that saturated my being as we held our gaze.. I will never forget……. And the words that you spoke have changed me forever….. That moment when you opened your mouth and began to speak … that moment will live in my heart all the moments of all my days…. And then your words… your words flooded over me like the breaking of the dawn upon the darkness of the night….
I stood there next to you … receiving all that you said to me in that moment…. And I knew… I knew I would never be the same ….. For I had tasted what being your daughter.. being yours.. belonging to you tasted like and as I stood there in your presence... as I stood there looking at you and you looking at me as the silence filled the space and the love and joy and grace and mercy and adoration saturated the atmosphere…. I knew … I knew you had brought me from so far away… from a place where terror of what had represented you had melted away forever…. And that in you and that in your presence truly was the fullness of joy…. And I belonged to it… I belonged to the joy…. I belonged to you….. for I was your daughter… always… and you had always been Father… always been longing for me… always been watching me… always been holding me… always been counting me among your treasure….. and now… now we just get to enjoy one another…. For you promised… “I will be their God and they will be my people….” I get to be yours all the moments of these times I walk upon this soil… and then I get to be yours all the days and all the moments I walk …………………………………………………….
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