Close eyes... breathe... close eyes and breathe... breathe... breathe.... deeper... exhale... sit... quietly.... pausing... waiting.. lingering.. tarrying...waiting to enter... those doors so large... so immense... before me they stand.... my hand … I place my hand upon the wood... it feels older than words could express... the doors beyond me... even as my fingers take in its essence.. take in the moment... from finger tip to every part of me... standing before these doors... I know that which is present on the other side.... I have seen it before... these doors... old friends of a sort.... I know who will be there... judge and jury....
Remembrances of the first time I stood and walked through those doors... a time when seeing you as Judge melted me like wax.... Brother how my desire for you is more as friend.. and Lover of my soul.... however to negate you as Judge would be diminish that you are more than I could ever even touch or dare to comprehend...
So to the doors I have come... again.. this time standing and waiting …. taking in all that I can... the oxygen.. the way the air lives... this moment... taking it all in as I hear your voice... laughter filling the chamber... calling my timid soul forward.... reassurance falls upon my flesh and saturates..... and I take in Your joy and the strength of it causes me to tremble with the joy through which it comes... a beautiful cycle that only brings You more joy and then strength is tangible... touchable... full of wonder .. full of flavor.. full of life....
The chambers are no longer in front of me and again the meadows sparkle and You are there... in and out... here and there... fashioning and forming and refashioning...
Then that knowing look... within Your eyes I see truth.... and it settles that which I am... without this .. without You.. without these moments … nothing else goes well... these moments... these precious moments... the air I breath.. I choke.. I choke without them.. I choke without you within my moments.... and as I stand under Your gaze weights fall to the ground...
I must be as John and rest upon You and listen to the beating heart that knows all.... I must be … there is no other way for me... to thrive is to be attached... to be dependent … to be a branch means that to live I must be fully abiding...
Oh my Friend... again Your hand .. Your hand and mine... walking side by side... Your beauty in these moments... washing away moments that did not have Your imprint.. that did not have Your hand within mine....
Pictures.. pictures of life... of You.. walking with You...
These meadows... Lion on one side... Lamb on the other...
I would say that tonight You have over played Your hand... You have thoroughly outdone Yourself.. and You but whisper words of Your love.. Your tenderness... Your kindness.... the flow of which tonight washing over and over and over and over me just causes me to sit and soak in it all... my heart had faltered and my steps with it and You woo me to a quiet moment so that You can display Your tenderness and Your kindness and Your love.... washing over my tired being and demonstrating Your strength and Your capacity towards life and not death...
Only You bring me forth... and into You and with You and beside You I journey... Your hand is most magnificent....
No comments:
Post a Comment