.... Isn't the concept of rest more delightful than the concept of captivity?

This morning I awoke with an angst upon my heart... my Yiddish grandmother might say "agidah ." But as a good friend has taught me ... check yourself.... ask the questions... Is it you? Is it the atmosphere? Is it God? Ask away..... So as I went about my morning driving kids to school and cleaning this and that... I felt it only grow...

I stepped into Gregory's room to get his cloths for school (why share the details you might ask... I feel very compelled this morning to also share the very natural aspect of my very full days.... I find the relationship with God that I walk in within those details maybe even because of those details... ok rabbit trail over... ok maybe not over completely......I'm not some mystic monk living with nothing to do hour after hour seeking God... how lovely that would be... uhm....maybe.... I find Him in life... pulsating... pursuing.... loving... disciplining .... stretching... all of it within the days of my life... no soap opera there... ok maybe sometimes enough drama to make one but not exactly... )

So I was in Gregory's room when I stepped into the understanding that the angst wasn't there from me... But I knew this issue all too well .....

I have been a servant... well.. a servant does what they are told and at the end it is just that the servant has done their task... truly not even a thank you is warranted...

Luke 17:7-10

"Suppose one of you has a servant that has been working in the field. The servant has been plowing the ground or caring for the sheep. When he comes in from work, what would you say to him? Would you say, 'Come in and sit down to eat'? No! You would say to your servant, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Then get dressed and serve me. When I finish eating and drinking, then you can eat.' The servant should not get any special thanks for doing his job. He is only doing what his master told him to do. It is the same with you. When you do all the things you are told to do, you should say, 'We are not worthy of any special thanks. We have only done the work we should do.'"

I have been a slave.... and well been owned by the one who I have served..... Not God mind you... position... person... etc etc

I am a daughter... I watch and I wait and I linger... I watch for my Father to move ... I wait upon Him ... and I linger ... I am not used by Him... I am not owned by Him.... I am His and I want Him to possess all of me but it is not ownership..... I do what I feel it is He tells me to do ... but it isn't as His servant..... I stand next to Him as His daughter.... loved, cherished, nurtured, adored and the list could go on and on...

The difference is this.... that which I do I don't own... that which I do I don't defend.... that which I put my hand to is His plow... His Kingdom.... it doesn't belong to me... If another (brother or sister) is called to take up that plow... it isn't mine to hold on to.....

The angst in the atmosphere was concerning the difference of these mentalities and the weight that the servant/slave attitude pushes down upon its captive.... I was tired of ministry.... had enough of for lack of interest in finding a better word the junk (putting it nicely)... but I had taken my eyes off of Him and forgotten to rest.... God can be trusted in the rest... God MUST be trusted in the rest...

Do we need to be brought into captivity so that the land will have its rest or can we willingly lay it all down and rest and allow the Lord to grow up that which He would grow.... Isn't the concept of rest more delightful than the concept of captivity?

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

This verse over the course of the last six months has birthed within me a courage and a strength to see how to live a life within ministry..... I am learning the unforced rhythms of grace... I am keeping company with Him... I am keeping company with Him and all else flows from that place..... and I am living freely and lightly and it is a wonderful thing... things get done and accomplished but at His pace and I move forward under His shadow.....

The angst in the air is that there is change coming... there is shifting coming.... and it is ok... it is ok to let go of position and title .... the angst in the air is the struggle... misplaced worth and identity.... and it really might kill you to walk away... and upon the shadows of the valley of death you might have to trod... but walk them well and you were emerge... fuller.. richer... lighter...freer.... go into the wilderness with Him willingly and you will emerge leaning upon the one who loves you so very well.... " Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace."

Get away...

Recover your life...

Take a real rest....

Walk with Him...

Work with Him....

Watch Him do it....

Learn the unforced Rhythms of Grace.....