"Nobody cares!"
I watched the mom putting her son in the car and speaking out those words and closing the door behind him. Now for those who know me, I am anal about what comes out of my mouth most of the time. Especially in regards to my children. I have cultivated warnings such as these:
"Listen mommy is tired, and I am a bit frustrated and if you don't stop now I can't promise you that you will have a patient mother in just a few minutes."
I have cultivated warnings like that because I so thoroughly disliked the times I behaved otherwise. When well, you know, the "stop screaming at your sister," said in a scream louder then the child. I didn't like it when I was that way... they didn't like it when I was that way... no one profited when I was like that.. we all lost....
My heart froze in that parking lot.. and yes, I stopped what I was doing and stood there after the mom drove off and prayed. I prayed for the mom. That the worries, the exhaustion, the affects of her life and her day would fall off of her and that her heart would be awoken to the reality of the love of God for her. I prayed for the child that his heart would not believe the words that nobody cares and that he would be guarded from harmful words and challenging times.
But the truth of the matter is that harmful words and challenging times are always upon us.
I woke up amidst concerns. Hey it would be ludicrous to not admit that... Just because one can put beautiful descriptive words together to talk about challenges and the realities of life doesn't make them not so and doesn't make them any less real and doesn't take the angst away when they are present. In pursuit of faith the foxes come.. the cares of this world press in, the realities of the voices of this age (call it whatever you will) but it all presses in...
Ringing in my ears as well as the reality of the concerns of this day and all that needs to get done and be paid for and that list goes on and on.. the roar of the day.. Amidst all of that comes the quietest of voices.
And instantly I reminded of the story I have heard about the kindergarten teacher who never yelled. It the kindergarten teacher effect. The louder the class got the quieter she whispered. She was reading a story and the children were being the kids that they are.. she never matched their tone or their noise level, she didn't stop what she was doing either, she just kept reading but she did get quieter and quieter and quieter.
Until one by one the children's attention was pulled into her voice because they decided that they really did want to hear.
The roar of the crowd, of the world, of the flesh can be deafening but His voice is the constant. It is constantly singing over you words of affection, it is constantly speaking words over you of strength and confidence, It is whispering over you peace all the time..
As things stirred this morning there was also a whisper in the air.
His question to me was... Which one are you going to hear?
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Driving to the Kia dealership, Hebrews 11 and giving a book away.... Just any old morning of mine
So there weren't as many hits on the ole snooze button this morning. Awaking to a morning that is the beginning of a very full day, I got up with purpose and thought through the few things I was going to do in order to help Jim with getting the kids off to school. Clothes, hair, teeth.. etc etc etc.. Then throwing my jeans on and shooting my straightener through my bangs I grabbed my purse and backpack and headed for the door.
As I was leaving the house I saw the box to my right that has a bunch of extra copies of this book that my pastor wrote and I felt the Lord tell me to grab one. I thought again for the second time in the course of a few days, "oh that's just me of course I would always think that someone could use a copy." I wrote within another blog post ( http://walkingthepassage.blogspot.com/2013/05/ill-spare-you-details.html ) recently how I teach people to go with that first thought. To not dismiss it but to walk with it and I wrote about the four questions that are a good idea to ask instead of assuming it is "just me."
The four questions:
1) What am I seeing or hearing or sensing
2) Is it good or bad.. (talking source here.. is it Heavenly or not) I can write more about this in another post.
3) Why am I seeing or hearing or sensing this? What is my role?
4) How do I participate in this moment?
But I digress... So I got to the driver's seat and it was then that I opened the door and got out and went and got a copy.. Why? You might ask.. Well, because I felt the Father say (and I know Him well enough to know that this would be true) That if I didn't go and get another copy of the book I would be giving away my copy which has my pastor's signature alongside a note he wrote.
As I drove to the dealership passages of scripture from Hebrews 11 filled my heart and I smiled.
I entered into the waiting room but had forgotten the book in the car. Again I sat down. The Lord had me look at the other woman in the waiting room and said, she will be the recipient of your copy if you don't go get it out of the car right now. It was full of His love but also pushed my butt once again out of the seat.
Reaching for my car door before the technician could bring it back into the garage.. I felt His smile. I trusted that which He was saying. I could feel the importance that this was to Him. It was not at all about me.. it was about this woman. His love for her... His knowledge of her and where she is at and how He wanted to love on her in this moment. I felt His smile and I was warmed by His affection.
I sat there now with book in hand. Thinking through how to approach this.. when He shared how she was going to be getting up soon and that I needed to give it to her... indeed her name was called... she walked past me and before she could get out of the door I said, "ma'am I don't know how you are going to feel about this, but I honestly felt like I was supposed to bring this book to the car dealership today. I walked in and saw you and knew it was for you. Can I give it to you?"
She reached for the book and looked at me as tears filled her eyes. She spoke words of gratitude as I explained that it was an amazing book written by my pastor and that in very real and natural and down to earth ways it speaks so eloquently on the heart beat of God. The book if you are wondering is called, Prototype, written by Jonathan Martin.
I watched her leave and I was grateful that she wasn't leaving with my copy :) oh how easily it could have been. Trying to learn more and more to always listen to that which He expresses as the flow of His heart.
So I leaned back and then knew I was to read Hebrews 11. The verses that had filled my heart earlier on in the morning and the book itself...
I have been seeking the Lord to grow my faith .. these are some of the questions I have put before Him...
What does it mean to have faith that moves mountains?
What is the faith that Jesus wonders if it will be upon the face of the earth when the son of man returns?
What does it mean to have child like faith?
What is the faith of the Centurion?
How does Thomas fit in?
How do these things play out in our lives? How in very real and practical ways do they play out in our lives?
I had read Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
But as I took my bible in my hands and looked to the entirety of that chapter I would begin to fight back tears as my whole being was filled by the reality of that which I knew He had been instructing me on for months.
His question became what is your confession?
The answer found in Hebrews 11:13-16.
All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out,they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. ThereforeGod is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.
And I was reduced... Because to have the living God.. the Creator of all things.. to have the assurance that He is NOT ASHAMED to be called my God! It UNDID me!!!
I have been thinking about the nature and character of things; the nature and character of the Lord, of the world, of our enemy. I have been laying a hold of my Father and trusting that He is who He says He is and letting that be that... pushing aside all hindrances and just trusting and believing not because situations and circumstances were any different but because He is that He is that He is and that is enough for me...
I have taught about how my citizenship is not of this world per se but of another place and it is upon us to know and partake of that other place. Reading this verse I say my own declaration.
I am called to live in the world.. I am called to be what I am called to be all the days I walk upon this earth.. But this earth and its ways are not my Father's ways and I am a stranger and an exile upon the earth....
My beautiful church in Charlotte, NC, Renovatus, has given me a vision statement called the Renovatus Manifesto that is amazing and full of life and as I think upon this morning, I smile.. I smile and think of the print that Jake Page created for some of us of parachutes coming down into Charlotte... We are a people who aren't looking to escape the world: We are not looking to escape the world, but to re-make it. We believe the earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it. We anticipate His kingdom coming and His will being done on earth as it is in heaven. We will not be done re-making the world until the final restoration of creation. (Matthew 6.10, Romans 8.19-23)
As I was leaving the house I saw the box to my right that has a bunch of extra copies of this book that my pastor wrote and I felt the Lord tell me to grab one. I thought again for the second time in the course of a few days, "oh that's just me of course I would always think that someone could use a copy." I wrote within another blog post ( http://walkingthepassage.blogspot.com/2013/05/ill-spare-you-details.html ) recently how I teach people to go with that first thought. To not dismiss it but to walk with it and I wrote about the four questions that are a good idea to ask instead of assuming it is "just me."
The four questions:
1) What am I seeing or hearing or sensing
2) Is it good or bad.. (talking source here.. is it Heavenly or not) I can write more about this in another post.
3) Why am I seeing or hearing or sensing this? What is my role?
4) How do I participate in this moment?
But I digress... So I got to the driver's seat and it was then that I opened the door and got out and went and got a copy.. Why? You might ask.. Well, because I felt the Father say (and I know Him well enough to know that this would be true) That if I didn't go and get another copy of the book I would be giving away my copy which has my pastor's signature alongside a note he wrote.
As I drove to the dealership passages of scripture from Hebrews 11 filled my heart and I smiled.
I entered into the waiting room but had forgotten the book in the car. Again I sat down. The Lord had me look at the other woman in the waiting room and said, she will be the recipient of your copy if you don't go get it out of the car right now. It was full of His love but also pushed my butt once again out of the seat.
Reaching for my car door before the technician could bring it back into the garage.. I felt His smile. I trusted that which He was saying. I could feel the importance that this was to Him. It was not at all about me.. it was about this woman. His love for her... His knowledge of her and where she is at and how He wanted to love on her in this moment. I felt His smile and I was warmed by His affection.
I sat there now with book in hand. Thinking through how to approach this.. when He shared how she was going to be getting up soon and that I needed to give it to her... indeed her name was called... she walked past me and before she could get out of the door I said, "ma'am I don't know how you are going to feel about this, but I honestly felt like I was supposed to bring this book to the car dealership today. I walked in and saw you and knew it was for you. Can I give it to you?"
She reached for the book and looked at me as tears filled her eyes. She spoke words of gratitude as I explained that it was an amazing book written by my pastor and that in very real and natural and down to earth ways it speaks so eloquently on the heart beat of God. The book if you are wondering is called, Prototype, written by Jonathan Martin.
I watched her leave and I was grateful that she wasn't leaving with my copy :) oh how easily it could have been. Trying to learn more and more to always listen to that which He expresses as the flow of His heart.
So I leaned back and then knew I was to read Hebrews 11. The verses that had filled my heart earlier on in the morning and the book itself...
I have been seeking the Lord to grow my faith .. these are some of the questions I have put before Him...
What does it mean to have faith that moves mountains?
What is the faith that Jesus wonders if it will be upon the face of the earth when the son of man returns?
What does it mean to have child like faith?
What is the faith of the Centurion?
How does Thomas fit in?
How do these things play out in our lives? How in very real and practical ways do they play out in our lives?
I had read Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
But as I took my bible in my hands and looked to the entirety of that chapter I would begin to fight back tears as my whole being was filled by the reality of that which I knew He had been instructing me on for months.
His question became what is your confession?
The answer found in Hebrews 11:13-16.
All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out,they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. ThereforeGod is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.
And I was reduced... Because to have the living God.. the Creator of all things.. to have the assurance that He is NOT ASHAMED to be called my God! It UNDID me!!!
I have been thinking about the nature and character of things; the nature and character of the Lord, of the world, of our enemy. I have been laying a hold of my Father and trusting that He is who He says He is and letting that be that... pushing aside all hindrances and just trusting and believing not because situations and circumstances were any different but because He is that He is that He is and that is enough for me...
I have taught about how my citizenship is not of this world per se but of another place and it is upon us to know and partake of that other place. Reading this verse I say my own declaration.
I am called to live in the world.. I am called to be what I am called to be all the days I walk upon this earth.. But this earth and its ways are not my Father's ways and I am a stranger and an exile upon the earth....
My beautiful church in Charlotte, NC, Renovatus, has given me a vision statement called the Renovatus Manifesto that is amazing and full of life and as I think upon this morning, I smile.. I smile and think of the print that Jake Page created for some of us of parachutes coming down into Charlotte... We are a people who aren't looking to escape the world: We are not looking to escape the world, but to re-make it. We believe the earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it. We anticipate His kingdom coming and His will being done on earth as it is in heaven. We will not be done re-making the world until the final restoration of creation. (Matthew 6.10, Romans 8.19-23)
I'm not looking to escape the world.. rather I AM THOROUGHLY enjoying living in it as His daughter... What a fabulous life I get to live... amidst all that comes my way.. no matter what I am His and He is my God and He is not ashamed to be that.. and that makes me oh sooooo very glad.
Oh so hey this is the Manifesto Renovatus follows.. it is so incredible.. You can purchase Prototype at bookstores, on Amazon... etc... and hey buy two copies at least so that you can give one away:) Believe me it won't be the only one you give away...
We are a people under renovation. We are in an ongoing process of growth, change and development. We will own up to where we are, but we won’t stay here. (2 Corinthians 4.16)
We are a community of liars, dreamers and misfits. We are a house of mercy. We will advocate for broken and marginalized people everywhere, inside and outside the Church. (I Samuel 22.1-2, Matthew 9.10-13)
We are people from the future. We act in fearless conviction that the rules have changed and that we are partnering with God to make that change visible. We will not be reactionary to anything or anyone, because the apocalyptic event of resurrection has already transformed the world. (Matthew 27.45-54)
We ARE your grandmother’s church. And your great-grandmother’s church. And your great-great-grandmother’s church. We embrace continuity with the Church’s past. We seek intergenerational and cultural diversity. We will harness the classic spiritual practices and truths that transcend time and place. We are a local representation of a timeless community. (2 Timothy 1.5)
We will practice the liturgy and the primal shout. We will incite worship that engages both intellect and emotion, believing that the head and heart are to be integrated and not divorced. (Joshua 6.10, 15-16)
We will build altars in the world. We will collect and tell stories. We will celebrate and honor the people, places and things that God chooses to use.(Genesis 28.10-22)
We will reach out without dumbing down. We will challenge you to think hard about God, Church and culture. We will not treat you like a consumer, but as a co-conspirator in the re-imagining of the world. (Mark 12.30)
We will embrace flesh and blood. We believe life in the Spirit has to be lived in a body. We celebrate the Eucharist as the full expression of God’s use of flesh to accomplish His purposes. Our own bodies are now broken with His for the sake of the world. (John 1.14)
We are not looking to escape the world, but to re-make it. We believe the earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it. We anticipate His kingdom coming and His will being done on earth as it is in heaven. We will not be done re-making the world until the final restoration of creation. (Matthew 6.10, Romans 8.19-23)
Sunday, May 19, 2013
My writing buddies... a personal look
He moves around my keyboard and I scoot him around with my finger... Gregory loves his little buddy... and I love Gregory..
The girl Seer........
I think it has been my most favorite time of teaching. A Tuesday morning devotional set to explore the reality of how God interacts with His creation and His children through the senses. It was supposed to be one 1/2 hour a week. It was supposed to be a tutorial of sorts on how to see, hear, feel, smell and taste the Kingdom of God and that which the Lord does... It has been so very much more.
http://stirthewater.com/beta/content/morning-devotional-seers
We started this journey together in January and we end this month. The seasons have been recorded and the first few are available here: http://stirthewater.com/beta/content/morning-devotional-seers
In this series we have walked together and explored what does it mean to see... how do we know what it is we are seeing? Hearing? Experiencing? What are the most important things that must under gird any exploration?
I thought I knew where it was I was going to be going with this.. I thought I knew what the emphasis was going to be on... I was wrong...
In a recent post I spoke about four questions I have learned to ask ... http://walkingthepassage.blogspot.com/2013/05/ill-spare-you-details.html
Who among us would want to be blind? Who among us would desire to be deaf? Who among us would want to have our senses so dulled as to not be able to discern touch, scent or taste? Yet we settle for not seeing and hearing and sensing our God ALL THE TIME! Read that last post.. In a moment where I should have stood confident and known what it was He was saying I doubted...
I just wrote a post concerning the concept of spending 10,000 hours on getting to know God. http://walkingthepassage.blogspot.com/2013/05/10000.html
As I have thought about it I have thought how even in these recent days something is happening with my sight.. with my faith.. It has been a few days where the ease at which I have been able to enter into seeing Him whether in the eyes of another, or the room I am sitting in, or in the situation I find myself within ... has flowed... has flowed more effortlessly than I have experienced in a long time.
Today I stood in a parking lot and became astounded at the reality of Heaven that was present. What do I mean? Am I just making grandiose comments so you will think I am spiritual? No.. don't think I am spiritual! Awaken to the fact that YOU ARE!!! I stood in the parking lot and beheld with wonder the reality of His presence. I could feel kindness in the air.. I could feel compassion saturating the environment. I could feel tenderness. I could feel strength. The air began to glow with a translucent golden hue and the sounds of the most beautiful singing floated about the light waves. NO! I am not on medication.. or drugs nor do I need to be....
If you stood in Boston would you be surrounded by the sights, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells.. ABSOLUTELY....
As ambassadors where we are there the Kingdom of God is bursting through.. Why wouldn't we see and hear it as it does so.....
My daughters see... My sons so as well.. we are all hearing individuals.... why would I want anything less for them... why would I not want them to see, hear, taste, touch, smell the world around them....
Listen to the free videos of the beginning of the devotional. Sound quality is what it is.. I am no tech genius... http://stirthewater.com/beta/content/morning-devotional-seers-0 The others will be posted soon but they are part of a membership for Stir the Water.. not advertising here.. not really.. just giving information...
But don't take my word for it.. A friend of mine just recently took the challenge I am about to lay at your feet and she is wonderfully amazed at how she is becoming more and more aware of the Lord and His kingdom that is forever surrounding her....
So here is the challenge...
For the next 21 days.. instead of brushing something off as "just you" or "a figment of your imagination" ask these four questions:
1) What am I seeing or hearing or sensing
2) Is it good or bad.. (talking source here.. is it Heavenly or not) I can write more about this in another post.
3) Why am I seeing or hearing or sensing this? What is my role?
4) How do I participate in this moment?
More on each of these questions this week... But start today.. Ask the Lord to open up your eyes, your ears, your senses of touch, taste, smell to Him... ask Him to show you Heaven, ask Him to show you Himself, Ask Him to propel you into the reality of being a seeing, hearing, sensing son or daughter of God....
Keep a journal and let us know how it is going for you... post on our facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stir-The-Water/24550022054
or put your comments here...
You are a beloved son or daughter of God with whom He enjoys being with more than you could fathom... embrace the reality that that is the TRUTH... and that He wants you to partake in relationship with Him in the fullest of ways...
Explore what being a seeing, hearing and sensing son or daughter is and enjoy.. relish in the journey.. in the experience.. in the life of being a girl or a boy after the heart of our God!
http://stirthewater.com/beta/content/morning-devotional-seers
We started this journey together in January and we end this month. The seasons have been recorded and the first few are available here: http://stirthewater.com/beta/content/morning-devotional-seers
In this series we have walked together and explored what does it mean to see... how do we know what it is we are seeing? Hearing? Experiencing? What are the most important things that must under gird any exploration?
I thought I knew where it was I was going to be going with this.. I thought I knew what the emphasis was going to be on... I was wrong...
In a recent post I spoke about four questions I have learned to ask ... http://walkingthepassage.blogspot.com/2013/05/ill-spare-you-details.html
Who among us would want to be blind? Who among us would desire to be deaf? Who among us would want to have our senses so dulled as to not be able to discern touch, scent or taste? Yet we settle for not seeing and hearing and sensing our God ALL THE TIME! Read that last post.. In a moment where I should have stood confident and known what it was He was saying I doubted...
I just wrote a post concerning the concept of spending 10,000 hours on getting to know God. http://walkingthepassage.blogspot.com/2013/05/10000.html
As I have thought about it I have thought how even in these recent days something is happening with my sight.. with my faith.. It has been a few days where the ease at which I have been able to enter into seeing Him whether in the eyes of another, or the room I am sitting in, or in the situation I find myself within ... has flowed... has flowed more effortlessly than I have experienced in a long time.
Today I stood in a parking lot and became astounded at the reality of Heaven that was present. What do I mean? Am I just making grandiose comments so you will think I am spiritual? No.. don't think I am spiritual! Awaken to the fact that YOU ARE!!! I stood in the parking lot and beheld with wonder the reality of His presence. I could feel kindness in the air.. I could feel compassion saturating the environment. I could feel tenderness. I could feel strength. The air began to glow with a translucent golden hue and the sounds of the most beautiful singing floated about the light waves. NO! I am not on medication.. or drugs nor do I need to be....
If you stood in Boston would you be surrounded by the sights, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells.. ABSOLUTELY....
As ambassadors where we are there the Kingdom of God is bursting through.. Why wouldn't we see and hear it as it does so.....
My daughters see... My sons so as well.. we are all hearing individuals.... why would I want anything less for them... why would I not want them to see, hear, taste, touch, smell the world around them....
Listen to the free videos of the beginning of the devotional. Sound quality is what it is.. I am no tech genius... http://stirthewater.com/beta/content/morning-devotional-seers-0 The others will be posted soon but they are part of a membership for Stir the Water.. not advertising here.. not really.. just giving information...
But don't take my word for it.. A friend of mine just recently took the challenge I am about to lay at your feet and she is wonderfully amazed at how she is becoming more and more aware of the Lord and His kingdom that is forever surrounding her....
So here is the challenge...
For the next 21 days.. instead of brushing something off as "just you" or "a figment of your imagination" ask these four questions:
1) What am I seeing or hearing or sensing
2) Is it good or bad.. (talking source here.. is it Heavenly or not) I can write more about this in another post.
3) Why am I seeing or hearing or sensing this? What is my role?
4) How do I participate in this moment?
More on each of these questions this week... But start today.. Ask the Lord to open up your eyes, your ears, your senses of touch, taste, smell to Him... ask Him to show you Heaven, ask Him to show you Himself, Ask Him to propel you into the reality of being a seeing, hearing, sensing son or daughter of God....
Keep a journal and let us know how it is going for you... post on our facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stir-The-Water/24550022054
or put your comments here...
You are a beloved son or daughter of God with whom He enjoys being with more than you could fathom... embrace the reality that that is the TRUTH... and that He wants you to partake in relationship with Him in the fullest of ways...
Explore what being a seeing, hearing and sensing son or daughter is and enjoy.. relish in the journey.. in the experience.. in the life of being a girl or a boy after the heart of our God!
10,000
There aren't many books that I have enjoyed as I did this one.. and it surprised me. Usually I am NOT the one reading books on the highly effective habits of people or how to win friends and influence or manipulate those that are around you. But this book has changed my life. Opened up my world. And shown me the path to walk upon.
This is Wikipedia's description of this book, Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.
Outliers: The Story of Success is a non-fiction book written by Malcolm Gladwell and published by Little, Brown and Company on November 18, 2008. In Outliers, Gladwell examines the factors that contribute to high levels of success. To support his thesis, he examines the causes of why the majority of Canadian ice hockey players are born in the first few months of the calendar year, how Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates achieved his extreme wealth, how The Beatles became one of the most successful musical acts in human history, how Joseph Flom built Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom into one of the most successful law firms in the world, how cultural differences play a large part in perceived intelligence and rational decision making, and how two people with exceptional intelligence, Christopher Langan and J. Robert Oppenheimer, end up with such vastly different fortunes. Throughout the publication, Gladwell repeatedly mentions the "10,000-Hour Rule", claiming that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of around 10,000 hours.
This one principle, "Throughout the publication, Gladwell repeatedly mentions the "10,000-Hour Rule", claiming that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of around 10,000 hours," is the key that has unlocked my path and opened up my eyes.
Jumping to a few stories.
Story number one...I just read an article on CNN about why pastors and Christian leaders aren't talking about Heaven. To say I read it is actually an exaggeration. I skimmed it and by saying that that might even be an exaggeration. I read a few sentences here and there. Because my heart was full of my own thoughts and while I was interested to read the "whys" of others I really wanted to meditate on the heart beat of God concerning these things.
Story number two.. I was talking to a dear friend of mine. I love this person. But as this person began to share something the air changed. He was giving me counsel and it was biblical and true but he didn't believe it, himself. I could feel the lack of authority in the air and in the conversation. I wimped out and didn't say anything because I more wanted to process the reality of what had transpired versus anything else. I am planning on going back to this friend and chatting on these things sometime soon.
Story number three... I've gotten on Reddit. Now I admittedly have no idea of what I am doing. I have no idea about "karma points," or anything else of that matter... But I AM LOVING IT!!! I am loving the exposure to things that I WOULD NEVER NEVER be exposed to. From the craziest Youtube.com videos to people of all sorts of backgrounds. I'm looking to pop the religious Christian bubbles that surround my life and I feel touching Reddit is doing so.. It is also introducing me to conversations with really Conservative Christians which I have found just as fascinating as the conversations I have gotten into with liberal Buddhists. I'm loving it all.
Story number four... I love the church communities I belong to. But today I gave myself permission to stay home. I think my friends would be applauding my choice towards rest and solitude. OK in a house that is barely 1400 sq ft and full of 8 people the solitude that I probably need and what I probably got are two very different things. BUT in giving myself permission today to just sit and be I touched joy. Now of course I was watching Twitter and Facebook and smiling at all the great comments about my church families but I was doing so from my bedroom and I was glad.
SO.... How do I tie all four stories in with a book recommendation... Do you remember what sentence of the description I expressed as having rocked my world and changed my life?
"Throughout the publication, Gladwell repeatedly mentions the "10,000-Hour Rule", claiming that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of around 10,000 hours."
I remember sitting at another house we had lived in and sitting at my desk. Thinking 10,000 hours... What? What? What really do I or would I devote 10,000 hours to... and then I knew... I knew what it was for me and all that it was for me.... what field? What expertise? What task? What 10,000 hours?
I wanted to know God.
PERIOD!
I wanted to know God.
Spending 10,000 hours on Him would never be wasted... spending 10,000 hours on Him would be the journey of a lifetime....
Where was I born? Boston.. I could talk and talk and talk and talk and talk about Boston, about Massachusetts. I love Manhattan and I could talk and talk and talk and talk New York City. I have loved living in South Carolina but I haven't explored it as much as I wish, I could talk about strawberry season and the peaches and the small town aspect of Fort Mill.. But I COULDN'T run off at the mouth about it.. not really. I wouldn't consider myself an expert. I have loved living in South Carolina. BUT I LOVE NYC and Boston. I love the Patriots but route for the Yankees. I could talk and talk and talk about those places until I was blue in the face.
What place do I love more than anything?
HEAVEN.
I will come back here but I want to go one step further before doing so.. One of my more recent prayer focuses have been this or something like it... I don't worship a stone, a statue, a tree... I don't worship an image... I don't worship a god who is impotent or unable to save... I don't beg an object to arise and move on my behalf.. I celebrate, worship, serve, lay my life down for, love, am passionate about a living.. A LIVING GOD!
He is alive....
What place do I love more than anything? HEAVEN.... WHOM do I love more than anything? HIM
I want to know God as He is .. not as I or theologians would make Him. Not as wiser more learned men and women would tell me... not as books could describe.... Not in pride nor in any way that makes me pompous or elite... But I want.. NO I NEED to know Him... Know Him for myself.. and know Him from the source .. from Him.....
Having said that I have surrounded myself with amazing men and women, theologians and friends. I am not looking to drink Kool Aid of any kind.... and I don't want to go off track.. BUT I WANT TO TALK IN CONFIDENCE ABOUT MY GOD AND ABOUT THE PLACE FROM WHERE MY CITIZENSHIP COMES FORTH FROM.
I don't want to be like the scribes who when compared to Jesus had no weight or authority to their teachings...
I don't want to be lumped together with 10,000 teachers .. I want to be a mother...
I want to stand like Jesus and say the ruler of this world comes but he has nothing in me...
I want to know the sounds and sights and sensations of Heaven.. my citizenship originates from them.. I am a representing ambassador... One would think I could and should speak confidently of that place....
SO 10,000 to know Him..... and then when they are done.. 10,000 hours more... and then when they are done another 10,000 hours... 10 years... 10 years.. and 10 years.. 10,000 hours until the day when hours and minutes are no longer counted as we know them to be....
I want to know Him... I want to know what makes His heart beat.. what makes His heart break... what Jesus prays about as He makes intercession to the Father... I want to know Him as He is.... He is living.. He is that He is that HE is... and He is knowable....
Touching Heaven.. touching Him.... isn't locking myself into a convent and shutting out all other doors.. almost the exact opposite.... more people... more experiences... learning to see His beauty in the petals of a flower, in the faces of my children, in the sounds of the birds, in the thoughts of a preacher... in the face of the cashier at Wal-Mart... in the eyes of the stranger.. in the embrace of my husband....
I started the 10,000 hours and pursuit of knowing Him.. with the thought of if I believe then I really going to believe and it is going to change my life.... it has and it is .. and I am astounded at what knowing Him and touching Heaven is doing for all that I am.....
He is beautiful and powerful and awesome and gentle and compassionate and kind... He is kingly and yet He is funny and joyful and full of a love that startles me time and time again. He is the best thing I could spend 10,000 hours on getting to know... He ravishes my soul and He Fathers me.. He is that He is.. and I am more thoroughly the me I was always meant to be as the hours tick away....
Saturday, May 18, 2013
The most delightful moments of the day occur ...
I have spent this day loving upon my children and dearest of friend... they complete me in ways I had never anticipated to ever cross my path. I am full.. satisfaction and contentment as a kitten lapping up milk....
But as I would head to bed... what had been a day full of dreamy delights of beauty ended with the affections of heaven. Amidst all that I face it is well .. very well with my soul.. So grateful for the lessons dear friends have brought to bare.. for circumstances and situations do not get to rob me of His grace. Pushed ever more then I would like but coming back to this place of wonderment and glory... It is His thoughts, opinions and recognitions that are so thoroughly laid bare upon my soul... It is in positioning myself before Him that I behold Him and am beheld by Him and the world and darkness slip away because His magnificent light is beyond my comprehension and capacity to express.
I spent the day with my children. I spent the day in my home. Quiet as quiet can be for this place .. but beholding the fullness of family. Being loved and loving them... and as the last headed to bed so did I and His presence was abundant and my room was full. I laid down with pen and journal and began to write a love letter to my God.
But as I would head to bed... what had been a day full of dreamy delights of beauty ended with the affections of heaven. Amidst all that I face it is well .. very well with my soul.. So grateful for the lessons dear friends have brought to bare.. for circumstances and situations do not get to rob me of His grace. Pushed ever more then I would like but coming back to this place of wonderment and glory... It is His thoughts, opinions and recognitions that are so thoroughly laid bare upon my soul... It is in positioning myself before Him that I behold Him and am beheld by Him and the world and darkness slip away because His magnificent light is beyond my comprehension and capacity to express.
I spent the day with my children. I spent the day in my home. Quiet as quiet can be for this place .. but beholding the fullness of family. Being loved and loving them... and as the last headed to bed so did I and His presence was abundant and my room was full. I laid down with pen and journal and began to write a love letter to my God.
“My Jesus.. I come into my room, I
lay down upon my bed and you are here. You shelter me as Your words
speak. Your love covers me. Grant me Your grace, oh Father, oh
delightful King! You speak and it is declared. You act and it is
done. There's no one like you. You've made me blind to all else but
Your love.. Your passion. You have filled my life with immense
goodness and I am very glad. I can feel the sentries of heaven
standing guard upon those that are hurting.. those that are lonely.
You set Your angels charge over us. I can feel the delight of Heaven
as faith arises. Your beauty, Oh Lord, surrounds and keeps me.”
Not upon the screen but upon paper did
I first write those words tonight.
The room thick with His presence, His
kindness, His generosity of spirit...
I am humbled and stand in awe of His
goodness.
I am daughter.. awoken and seen! I am
His beloved and adored. No larger portion can ever be granted. No
deeper delight ever manifested. His affections are powerful and
command a thorough redemption. Nothing stands in His wake.
The very thought of Him, as He is
uniquely, saturates the fiber of my being. When I weep and am found
in despair He is there.. When I relax within His presence and am
embraced by a deep fullness He is there.... I am the best “me”
that I will ever be when I behold Him.. when we pause and encounter
each other.
Through scripture, through prayer,
through silence, through song, through quiet intimate moments... His
declaration over me is completed in His banner of love...
Oh that I am most thoroughly
captivated. Oh that I would be in such a state at all times. NO
other placement upon the earth do I desire but to sit by His feet and
behold His goodness and His grace. He is the commander of the angel
army and He fights.. He is the victorious warrior.. Zephaniah 3:17
"The
LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult
over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over
you with shouts of joy.
Amen
and amen... nothing greater could ever be said.. nothing more could
ever be done...
A letter to the wife who called in to the 700 club.... And those like her!
Oh I understand press cycles and hot topics and the reality that behind all the sensation there are people. Real people, just trying to live their lives and walk with God in an honest, forth right way. Life hands us things that we would never ask for but what happens when we stand in those moments forms and fashions us...
I'm not addressing the question of faithfulness or infidelity here... I don't know this person. I am just another voice in the crowd. But her heart is worth the time speaking over.. and her life is worth speaking into.. NOT to ask is she being provided for or does she have a roof over her head.. I guess if your husband isn't screaming at you or being unkind to your kids then, according to Pat Robertson of the 700 club, you should be dancing for joy.
But on the day that you found out that your husband found comfort and fulfillment in the arms of another woman, I can't imagine the heart ache you felt. I can't imagine the devastation that rippled throughout your entire being. Not just for you, but for all those like you, who fell in love with someone, who spoke words of fidelity, who promised to love and cherish ... To come to the place where the realization becomes that another person held the hand of the man or woman you love, that another person heard words of sexual desire, or flattery, or affection from the mouth that once said, "I do." Those places are brutal. That journey, not one I have had, I can't imagine the pain and disorientation of those moments of first finding out.
I'm sorry your heart wasn't cherished when you sought out counsel from one you thought could give it.
Does the world ever stop spinning? Do you ever find your feet again? How do you forgive? That was your question, wasn't it? How do you forgive?
I have not been cheated on but I have had to give forgiveness into circumstances that were beyond my capacity to fathom. I have done it step by step. Moment by moment. Trust has had to be rebuilt. Space granted to grieve. Space granted to be angry, to deal with the betrayal... space to pause and grace to give to yourself. There is no set route.. and some days you might feel completely on top of it and other days you might be consumed by the horror of imagined images of your spouse with another... There is grace for the days you feel strong and there is grace for the days you want to curl up into a ball and disappear. There is grace for the day you can hold his hand again and there is grace for the day where even the thought of him ever touching you again sends shivers down your spine. THERE IS GRACE. THERE IS COMPASSION. THERE IS MERCY. THERE IS A GOD WHO LOVES AND CHERISHES YOU and YOUR HEART!
I'm sorry to all those who have asked that question and gotten a stupid, religious answer that didn't consider nor treasure your heart. KNOW .. please know.. that in those moments that is NOT what the Lord.. what your Heavenly Father would speak over you or into you. I'm sorry that when you sought out counsel that you were only further betrayed by the ignorance of man and the limitations of human stupidity.
I'm sorry your pain was belittled. I'm sorry you weren't taken seriously. I'm sorry that true wisdom wasn't granted and that your ears didn't hear a clear cut path of redemption. You sucking it up and being grateful for provision, a house, and a man who takes kids to sporting events isn't and wasn't and never will be the issue. Your heart and the betrayal and how you are empowered to walk through this season is the issue.
I may never meet you but please know that you are in my prayers and it is my deepest desire that your heart comes in contact with someone who can effectively walk you through this horrible time in your life.
I'm sorry, sweet sweet beautiful woman.. I'm sorry that this ever happened not just the original event but Pat Robertson's response or the responses like his.
I'm not addressing the question of faithfulness or infidelity here... I don't know this person. I am just another voice in the crowd. But her heart is worth the time speaking over.. and her life is worth speaking into.. NOT to ask is she being provided for or does she have a roof over her head.. I guess if your husband isn't screaming at you or being unkind to your kids then, according to Pat Robertson of the 700 club, you should be dancing for joy.
But on the day that you found out that your husband found comfort and fulfillment in the arms of another woman, I can't imagine the heart ache you felt. I can't imagine the devastation that rippled throughout your entire being. Not just for you, but for all those like you, who fell in love with someone, who spoke words of fidelity, who promised to love and cherish ... To come to the place where the realization becomes that another person held the hand of the man or woman you love, that another person heard words of sexual desire, or flattery, or affection from the mouth that once said, "I do." Those places are brutal. That journey, not one I have had, I can't imagine the pain and disorientation of those moments of first finding out.
I'm sorry your heart wasn't cherished when you sought out counsel from one you thought could give it.
Does the world ever stop spinning? Do you ever find your feet again? How do you forgive? That was your question, wasn't it? How do you forgive?
I have not been cheated on but I have had to give forgiveness into circumstances that were beyond my capacity to fathom. I have done it step by step. Moment by moment. Trust has had to be rebuilt. Space granted to grieve. Space granted to be angry, to deal with the betrayal... space to pause and grace to give to yourself. There is no set route.. and some days you might feel completely on top of it and other days you might be consumed by the horror of imagined images of your spouse with another... There is grace for the days you feel strong and there is grace for the days you want to curl up into a ball and disappear. There is grace for the day you can hold his hand again and there is grace for the day where even the thought of him ever touching you again sends shivers down your spine. THERE IS GRACE. THERE IS COMPASSION. THERE IS MERCY. THERE IS A GOD WHO LOVES AND CHERISHES YOU and YOUR HEART!
I'm sorry to all those who have asked that question and gotten a stupid, religious answer that didn't consider nor treasure your heart. KNOW .. please know.. that in those moments that is NOT what the Lord.. what your Heavenly Father would speak over you or into you. I'm sorry that when you sought out counsel that you were only further betrayed by the ignorance of man and the limitations of human stupidity.
I'm sorry your pain was belittled. I'm sorry you weren't taken seriously. I'm sorry that true wisdom wasn't granted and that your ears didn't hear a clear cut path of redemption. You sucking it up and being grateful for provision, a house, and a man who takes kids to sporting events isn't and wasn't and never will be the issue. Your heart and the betrayal and how you are empowered to walk through this season is the issue.
I may never meet you but please know that you are in my prayers and it is my deepest desire that your heart comes in contact with someone who can effectively walk you through this horrible time in your life.
I'm sorry, sweet sweet beautiful woman.. I'm sorry that this ever happened not just the original event but Pat Robertson's response or the responses like his.
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