Sitting there I am Kept so very well

Walking up the stairs it was to Him and Him alone I needed to go.... a backpack full of things that I just went straight towards Him and dropped at His feet... and looked into His eyes and quietly sat down upon Him.... Closing my eyes... putting myself into rhythm with Him and His presence ... allowing myself to sync as you might say with the beating of His heart....

My heart and mind quieting further upon every second spent... not budging.. not one muscle .. not one movement... glued to Him and tired He poured out refreshing upon my soul.... His care for me complete .. not lacking one iota... not missing one beat... in that place... that holy holy place... Father and daughter ... Creator and image bearer together....

There is not one thing .. not one place... not one person who restores my soul as He can... I was created to plug into Him and Him alone... I was created with one source for food... I was created to take part of Him... to be a part of Him... I was created to breathe in His air.. His breath... Him....

Sitting there... leaning there.. I closed my eyes to all else... closed myself off to all else but His love... His tender loving kindness... His mercies... His beauty... His grace..... His strength replaces my weakness... His wisdom replaces my folly...

Sitting there that is where I live forth from.... Oh in the natural I get up and live my life but leaning... always leaning... always sitting upon Him.... always lingering within Him.... His scope and His vastness consume me and at upon it all I am kept.... kept so very well....

When out of Heaven a hand comes forth.....

His hand came down and was holding mine... Ah this time there was no physical hand but there might as well have been....

I know I have shared times when as I sat on this one particular hill or walked these woods within one season of my life if a picture had been taken there would be no doubt in my mind that Jesus would be very present in that photo...

However this was not that ... Again it might as well have been...  The old what 70s or was it an 80s song... "come take my hand and walk with me to where the children are free ... Take my hand...."

As I saw and watched this scene play out the thought that crossed my mind was this is life.... This is life!!!! Where the Creator of all things acts upon one small portion of creation with such loving care and tenderness while at the same time keeping the universe moving through the dance of time....

In those moments of taking His hand I felt my mind be altered... I felt His truths sink deeper... I felt even more branded upon as His... I felt the aspects of me that don't always fall into alignment with Him separate from my person...

How can one both hold the very hand of God and rest delightfully within His palm?  I do not know! But this morning His abundant loving kindness upon me shatters all else and within a deepening quiet and solidness resides...

I am His girl.... I am His daughter... It is my Father's image I bear

Then this was the moment....

There are moments where the truths of the Kingdom ring so fully within my heart... where the reality of the thoughts and opinions of the Father so override anything I would think of that would even have the slightest tinge of less than that which He most perfectly thinks...

It is in those times where a strength and an assurance and understanding seems so clear... so beautiful.. so amazing... who we are as children of God!!! Who He is!!! The reality of our Kingdom!!! The joy and delight that just stem forth from that place...

Tonight as I drove home I saw a picture of an umbilical cord and Father's voice rung strongly into my ears .. He spoke of how nothing can ever cut this cord... how we are attached more firmly than I could ever even realize... He spoke of His love and His care and His compassion and I felt His gaze upon me ... In this place I get lost... I get swept up into love... swept up into Him...

Earlier on in the day I was out as well... but that time all the cares and concerns and details and needs of the day were floating around my head... but I paused and I slowed my thoughts down and in hunger I grabbed for truth... If I can truly do all things through Christ who gives me strength and the joy of the Lord is my strength and I am to cast all my anxiety upon Him for He cares for me.. than this was the moment to believe those truths... This was the moment to take the truth of all I believe and stand firm....

I quietly spoke forth towards the Lover of my soul my desire... my hunger... In these moments as the wind and waves were arising what would it look like to go to sleep... what would it look like to trust... what would it look like to turn towards Him and not allow the foul whispers of the world to steal my peace...

I spoke quietly towards Him and leaned into Him physically expressing my need... expressing my lack and acknowledging that His truth says I lack no good thing.... There was no religion in these moments.. There was a girl desperately in need of the love of Father and Savior .. There was a girl who mustered up not even the faith of a mustard seed to say I believe....

I believe that I don't have to be anxious... I believe that the cares of this world don't get to rob me of my joy... I believe that perfect love casts out all fear... I believe that there is a peace that passes all understanding.. I believe... I believe ... I BELIEVE!!!!

The car filled with a quiet joy and a solid assurance and while the details and the cares of the moment still existed in the world's eyes they vanished at the very thought of Him.... He who knows beginning from end... He who watches over birds of the air and the flowers of the field adores me... delights in me... I am His.. His daughter... His girl... and I no longer felt tentative... Assurances of His love brought boldness and carried me forth.....

The thoughts and opinions of man... the raging and roar of the world are all hushed at the reality of His ways... His ways are higher than.. They are stronger than.. They are more solid than anything this world or man could ever offer....

This then was the moment.... a moment of truth... a moment where I decided to believe that I really am that citizen of Heaven .. I really am that new creation... This really is true.. and the truth of this is so firm and so incredibly set that nothing can hinder its flow....

This then was the moment where the delight of the Father and the reality of His world overrides and forms and fashions culture.... when we stand in a moment and do not allow culture or opinion to carve us into its image but stand bearing forth the image of our Creator we welcome in and usher in a new day... where we know who we are.. and the things we believe aren't a standard of heavy yokes but a free flowing, life engaging amazing song of truth that resides deep within and changes not only that which we are but that which surrounds us....

My Father who resides in Heaven walks upon His creation through you .. through me.. may we walk as He would walk not hindered by lies.. not hindered by fear... but empowered and liberated by love....

I love Father and He loves me and there is a connection there that is so solid that I need not ever fear..... For His care for me is perfect.. perfect in every way...

But the World is Blue!

"But the world is blue!" That is what they were declaring.... The world and everything that they saw was blue and had blue tinges to it as I went to try and describe that which was really what was being seen I noticed something.... The glasses they had on were colored blue... so everything that they were seeing was blue... but that colored the reality of that which was really there....

Today as I thought upon that scene... a picture that the Lord spoke to me.. I realized what lens do I have on? What lens of comparison? What lens of performance? What lens of fear? What lens of trust? What lens of love?

In any given day throughout the day all the events we encounter... all the people.. all the words... what words.. what thoughts and opinions are going to matter... what "truths" try to exalt themselves up as the final word... what final words are we going to allow to reside within us....

But in some areas of my life I am oblivious to the fact that I am wearing blue tinted glasses... I want to see clearly but the coloration of the lenses upon my eyes (my heart) make it near to next impossible...

But that is where I have learned to come to the Spirit of Truth and allow my Father to set my heart aright.... there is nothing else that can take those lenses off... nothing but His love... Our hearts have known living in this world.. they have known the harm of human kind... the harm of lack.. the harm of pain.. but He has so overcome all the trials and tribulations that would ever surface and He is a master redeemer and amazing lover of our souls...

I pray this prayer... Father let me see as You see.. let me see my world, let me see others and let me see myself as You see ... Father take off any lenses that would have me believe lies ... take off lenses that would hinder me from knowing the depth of Your loving care over me.... and then I rest.. I rest in His presence... and I hold my thoughts captive and I pray the mind of Christ upon me and I pray that as I am crowned with the lovingkindness of God that my mind would be transformed and know Him as He is and myself as He says I am....

Truth empowers me to be different... learning to soar

Not too long ago I was with a group of people and as I prayed over different ones and looked up and saw faces and lives before me I was so moved towards compassion.

It has filled my days with wonderment and thought…. Thoughts of comparison, thoughts of performance, thoughts of weights or burdens of life and/or obligation….. these things of life that come and choke out truth and joy and sweet fellowship with the Father…. These things that come and roar their lies into the lives of people and bang up against the knowledge of trust and truth and hope and faith….

The cares and the concerns of this world choking out life amidst the sons and daughters of God….

Today was the first day in my life that all 6 of my children were in school. I got away…. I placed my phone off and down and had no computer near… I sat and waited upon the Lord… I sat there at the beginning of this new season of life and gave my life and my time and my days to the Father… I sat there and these thoughts again came….

Thoughts about comparison, thoughts about performance, thoughts about fear and doubt … weights.. heavy burdens… and as I thought about these things again what was birthed within me was such a desire …. A desire for the truths of the affections of Father to roll out upon His people… His children… A desire for the truths of His passion.. His delight .. His love to so infiltrate our souls… our lives… our spirits…

It isn’t all that hard to listen to the whispers or the shouts of the lies that this world, our flesh or the enemy would like to have us believe… There are areas in all our hearts where lies land so much easier than the truth….

I want to be so full of Father’s affections and thoughts that those lies are showed up for what they are…. I want to so know the authentic and powerful truth of God and who I am in Him that the counterfeit is easily shown up for that which it is…

I have stood in awe of how my children put themselves out there in life… they step into new things.. they step onto sport playing fields… they risk and venture and jump out… they open their lives up to criticism and critique … I realized at times I have played it safe… gone with the flow… flown under the radar… allowing fear of the thoughts and opinions of man to intimidate me back into a corner ….

But these things are just so pounding upon me… my heart and mind are full with the reality of being a daughter… oh the lies come and so does the fears but the time is shorter now that they get to stay… and sometimes they don’t even get to find a landing field….

It isn’t that I can’t be intimidated by fear still it is just that perfect love is taking more and more residence up in my life and in my heart and in all that I am…. And that perfect love is creating within me a strength and a joy and a delight that as it grows I get to walk more and more as a daughter… as a beloved… as one who was created in the image of Father God and I get to bear that image and not shrink back…

Fear has been a factor in my life… yet the love of God is so much stronger and so much more that as I set my heart upon Him and as I allow His thoughts and opinions to outweigh all else I am being renewed daily… hhhmmm renewing my mind as I set it upon Him….

I step out more and more now… I find that I allow my truest self to fly … at times I still want to shrink back but then I remember… I am not made of those who shrink back I am one born to have faith.. and born to have confidence… I am a daughter… a daughter of the Most High God… I get to live in His perfect love.. and all else… all else will fade away…..

May the perfect love of our Father so fill you as you live your moments that fear and the thoughts and opinions of this world will have no place in you…. Bless you

The reality of that one place undoes me... Undoes me everytime

There is only one sure place I know to go.... Oh don't get me wrong I go to many other places at times.. Sadly.  


But beyond all events and beyond all circumstances ... Beyond situations that I encounter or that enter my life whether in my control or out if it there is only one place where I know I will no matter what end up...


I feel like Zuzu from it's a wonderful life handing Father the flower and looking up at him and asking Him to fix it...  


Fix my heart Father
Fix my mind
Carry these anxious thoughts away from me for Your care for me is the most solid thing I know...


When upon this morning I encountered emotions that would arise to apprehend my peace a friend of mine encouraged me to embrace how Jesus and I commune through writing ...


 When within the hours of the afternoon I stood within the circumstances of my day I had to pause and pull upon my Father ... I have come and come again  to the depth of understanding that there is simply no other place to go...


No other place that amidst the wind and waves of the day can I find true rest... Real rest... Permanent peace...


Other places scream  up their offerings of peace or satisfaction but their yelps are shallow and fade quickly away at times leaving even more harm...


Where as in this place... Under the shadow of Him who loves me so utterly completely I can truly find rest... In the refuge of the Tower of His presence can I find my strength restored as I lean upon Him surrounded by Him..


I had recently spoken upon subjects that circumstances and situations in this world do not get the final say... That though trials and tribulation or sorrow and suffering befriend me I shall not be afraid...  

To remember that He is with me .. He, the author and perfecter of my faith... The Lover of my soul.. The Creator of all things.... To remember that He is truly with me and upon Him I can stand ... To remember that that which this world would try and throw upon me can not dictate or determine my life...  His truth... His ways ... His compassion ... His wisdom ... His comfort .... His perfect love... They get to dictate and determine truth... That and that alone


My soul may be moved by the wind and the waves but it is steadied under His hand and His voice sweetly speaking  peace.. be still ... I am with you...

Performance, comparison, burdens and weights all fall off under the gaze of His perfect love... Under the truth of His mercy and grace condemnation and fear melt away..


I sometimes go other places but I always return back to that which I know that I know that I know... I am His and His completely..  Period... I am nothing more and nothing less.. I am a daughter of the Most High God and He most certainly cares for me...

Time to be serious about being as a child

There are things I find myself saying and thinking a lot these days…. Aspects of walking out the Christian walk that I am really seeking after and hungering for…. I’m not sure all of this is even going to be able to be translated from my heart to the screen….

The comments I find myself saying are things like “the world doesn’t get to dictate what my life is…” or “the world and its systems or people don’t get to define me and say that which I am or that which I’m not..”

Oh you better believe me they/it/whatever tries….. my flesh roars against the ways of God… my culture and society roar against the ways of God… the enemy definitely roars against the ways of God… everything screaming for my attention… for me to care for this or that… for me to want this or that…. For me to desire or pursue this … that … or the other thing….. everything screaming my attention… telling me that it is important… telling me that this relationship or that object is vital to my happiness… this thing I can do or that thing I can become will be what makes me happy….

But it is lies…. And the lies we have ended up believing are what is killing us…..

When I was first saved I was in this situation where a group of people were talking about how hard it is to live the Christian life… and in my new state of having just found Him and having just realized how amazing that which Jesus offers to all is I was confused at their conversation….. So I spoke up and shared that I honestly didn’t think it was as hard as they were all making it out to be where upon I was told by many that I was just a “baby Christian” and didn’t realize what I didn’t realize…..

Well in some ways they were right and in some ways they were very wrong…. It has taken me almost twenty years to come back to that place but these days and times have me once again thinking that truly while I can now appreciate the complicated tones of what they spoke of I now more than ever truly believe that that which is really about Jesus isn’t complicated at all…. And I am hungering to come to Him as a child….

I am at a place where either I am going to believe this … and by “this” I mean all of this… or I’m not….. and here is what I mean even more….. I’m done making excuses for myself… I’m not going out there now going to try and perform the Christian walk and be godly and righteous in my own efforts…. I am just hungry…. I’m hungry to live like Him…. Hungry to be like Him… I know that I am going to fall short but I really have come to the place where this is what I believe….

I believe that the deaf will hear… the blind will see…. The lame get to walk… I really believe that I don’t have to be anxious or troubled over anything simply because He cares for me…. I really believe that I have a High Priest who can most certainly understand all my emotions and situations because He knows… He knows… I trust in the one who is called the Alpha and the Omega … the beginning and the end…. I believe that my life lived upon this earth is for one true reason and one alone is to know Him and be Known by Him and Make Him known…. Known for who He is not who humanity or religion would try and make Him out to be…..

I’m just done making excuses for myself … I’m done being anything other than a daughter… I know His ways… I know Him… I know what makes Him happy… I know what He desires…. Loving mercy… walking with true humility and being with Him…. Letting Him do the rest… in that … in Him doing the rest… I take rest in that…. I place my life in His and ask that He lives His through me ……….

There is no show to this… there is no hype…. I am going to live my life believing in God… I am going to believe that which He says…. I am hungry to walk in confidence in that which He is and that which as a result He says I am….. plain and simple…. No longer a “baby Christian” but fully His daughter… His child… His own…..