Time to be serious about being as a child

There are things I find myself saying and thinking a lot these days…. Aspects of walking out the Christian walk that I am really seeking after and hungering for…. I’m not sure all of this is even going to be able to be translated from my heart to the screen….

The comments I find myself saying are things like “the world doesn’t get to dictate what my life is…” or “the world and its systems or people don’t get to define me and say that which I am or that which I’m not..”

Oh you better believe me they/it/whatever tries….. my flesh roars against the ways of God… my culture and society roar against the ways of God… the enemy definitely roars against the ways of God… everything screaming for my attention… for me to care for this or that… for me to want this or that…. For me to desire or pursue this … that … or the other thing….. everything screaming my attention… telling me that it is important… telling me that this relationship or that object is vital to my happiness… this thing I can do or that thing I can become will be what makes me happy….

But it is lies…. And the lies we have ended up believing are what is killing us…..

When I was first saved I was in this situation where a group of people were talking about how hard it is to live the Christian life… and in my new state of having just found Him and having just realized how amazing that which Jesus offers to all is I was confused at their conversation….. So I spoke up and shared that I honestly didn’t think it was as hard as they were all making it out to be where upon I was told by many that I was just a “baby Christian” and didn’t realize what I didn’t realize…..

Well in some ways they were right and in some ways they were very wrong…. It has taken me almost twenty years to come back to that place but these days and times have me once again thinking that truly while I can now appreciate the complicated tones of what they spoke of I now more than ever truly believe that that which is really about Jesus isn’t complicated at all…. And I am hungering to come to Him as a child….

I am at a place where either I am going to believe this … and by “this” I mean all of this… or I’m not….. and here is what I mean even more….. I’m done making excuses for myself… I’m not going out there now going to try and perform the Christian walk and be godly and righteous in my own efforts…. I am just hungry…. I’m hungry to live like Him…. Hungry to be like Him… I know that I am going to fall short but I really have come to the place where this is what I believe….

I believe that the deaf will hear… the blind will see…. The lame get to walk… I really believe that I don’t have to be anxious or troubled over anything simply because He cares for me…. I really believe that I have a High Priest who can most certainly understand all my emotions and situations because He knows… He knows… I trust in the one who is called the Alpha and the Omega … the beginning and the end…. I believe that my life lived upon this earth is for one true reason and one alone is to know Him and be Known by Him and Make Him known…. Known for who He is not who humanity or religion would try and make Him out to be…..

I’m just done making excuses for myself … I’m done being anything other than a daughter… I know His ways… I know Him… I know what makes Him happy… I know what He desires…. Loving mercy… walking with true humility and being with Him…. Letting Him do the rest… in that … in Him doing the rest… I take rest in that…. I place my life in His and ask that He lives His through me ……….

There is no show to this… there is no hype…. I am going to live my life believing in God… I am going to believe that which He says…. I am hungry to walk in confidence in that which He is and that which as a result He says I am….. plain and simple…. No longer a “baby Christian” but fully His daughter… His child… His own…..