We had gone to Carowinds this past week. The older kids had gone off in pairs and I sat in one of the baby pools with Gregory and Elizabeth. The day was perfect. The skies were that perfect Carolina Blue and the warmth of the air mingling with the refreshing coolness of the water just set the scene. I sat in one place and Gregory would splash this way and that and then come back and then go off..... repeating this variation of movement and "checking in on mom" scenario. But Elizabeth .... Elizabeth was the one who was acting out of character..... My climb on whatever is in front of her, squeeze into every tight corner, explore everything and anything child was not willing to leave my lap or take her arms off from around my neck...... She wasn't afraid and I wondered if she was just tired.

As I lay awake tonight the Lord brought the picture of that moment back to my remembrance..... you see after the first hour and a half or so... Elizabeth was back to being herself... exploring, running, climbing, being the keep up with me if you can kind of girl.... that she is..... but for the moments before that she was not going to move from my lap..... not just sitting but resting so deliberately upon my chest with her chubby little arms wrapped around my neck and her head placed upon my shoulder...... I remember just holding her.. every now and then pouring a little bit of water upon her back and cooling her off.... checking in on her by just holding her up for a moment and looking into her face... after which she would just find her place back nestled into me and her whole body would relax as she took in the scene.....
Tonight the words were simple.... I love being a mom.... I love that I have many stages of childhood and young adulthood around me... I love the challenges and the excitement and the joys of each place.... from building tracks with Gregory, to cuddling Elizabeth, to sitting and listening to Caspian, to watching Josh becoming a man, to enjoying Gideon's simplicity and fantastic nature just glow, and being a part of Rebekah's life as she becomes all she is becoming......

I stop and think of each one and each stage and joy just fills my heart... a satisfaction.
An understanding that each season each one walks through contains within it the joys and struggles and yet the knowledge that we will emerge from each season having been richer for going through it and stronger in the end..... The successes, the failures, the joys, the sorrow... and well, everything in between.... they have taught me about life and love and they are some of the most amazing people I know and I love getting to spend my times with them.......
Again.. and tonight the words were simple...... I love being their mom.... there isn't anything I don't love about it... things I don't like... days I don't like but I love them and in it all we create something with each other.......

Tonight as I knew that there was something that the Lord was getting at.... the words were simple.... He loves being a Father.... a Dad... He loves it all.... unlike me He loves perfectly and completely.... He loves being a Dad... a Father to all... as I sit and acknowledge how I know my children... he knows me and them perfectly and completely...... and there are times when there is nothing more to do then to sit nuzzled up to the One who created all things and just rest against His Almighty Chest as He holds us there..... as Elizabeth so out of character did the other day.... and there are times to acknowledge His delight as we discover aspects of the Kingdom not known to us before.... and then there are times to just quietly realize that He loves us... He loves being a Father... and He knows all things.. and in that knowledge we can rest.... when the wind and the waves are carrying a tiny boat across a lake... we can rest in the bow because we know that we know that we know.. that our Father truly loves us and watches over us perfectly....

Psalm 5:12 For you bless the godly, O LORD;
you surround them with your shield of love.